I wanted to let you all know that Mondays checkup went well. After a 3 and a half hour wait.
My CA125 is still at 19. so thats good. And my oncologist felt happy enough to put me on 6monthly checkups instead of 3.. This i fear is a little unnerving for me because i do like the regular reasurrance. But im sure ill be fine..
As for the promotion at work I think i may have decided to turn it down.. Im Just so tired all the time. And I am sure that by now i shouldnt be feeling this tired but i really do struggle some days. So I think the best thing to do is turn it down, I dont know where this will leave me with my employer because im sure he will be disappointed and will need someone who is prepared to run two practices including the one I am currently running.
I hope everyone out there is well at the moment.
stay strong
Lots of love
Suzanne.. xxx
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suzannehadenough
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Dear Suzanne, great news on the check up results. I seem to be on 6 monthly check ups already by default because of the backlog at the clinic. My last one was Oct and when I rang my onc's secretary this week she said I was on the list ok, but probably wouldn't be seen until mid April unless I started to feel unwell. I've decided I am relaxed about this as how I feel is really the best indicator. I didn't even ask for my last CA125 number. As long as I hear nothing I know it's normal an that's good enough.
The job decision is really tricky but getting landed with demands you really can't cope with isn't what you need. A little space in your life for things other than work is so important.
Hope you find your energy levels returning very soon.
Yes I did the same for a while regarding the CA125 result but then decided i wanted to know where i was at incase it did start to creep up..
Your right about needing me time. But its so difficult when your the only bread winner in the house.
Take care
L:ots of love and best wishes
Suzanne. xx
Dear Suzanne,
Brilliant about your results - and that they don't want to see you every 3 months. If you are concerned (as I found I was for the first year or two past 3 monthly checks), get your ca125 taken by your GP practice. It's a cheap test, so they won't mind, and it will give you the reassurance, or the spur to go back to the hospital if there's any elevation.
I think you are wise to avoid the promotion at this stage. It takes a couple of years to recover fully from chemo, and the last thing you need right now is stress and pressure. Pace yourself, rest and work on supporting your immune system. You have to put yourself first at this time in your life.
Hello Isadora. Thank you for your kind words and advice. I am always so anxious about not being checked. I think with the nature of my diagnoses I dont like just leaving things I like the reassurance. So maybe I will ask my doctor for the blood tests if im feeling worried,
I have just spoken to some one because I feel that cancer is consuming my life at the moment, I feel like im all about it coming back and thats all I can think about. I try to just live my life but its so hard to get it out of my head.
Thanks for the update and how fantastic is that this went well for you. You have had a rough ride , you deserve this.
Promotions will come again and taking on too much is the last thing you want. It sounds as if your boss loves you to bits and I am sure opportunities will come again.
As for feeling tired it still is relatively recent that you had your surgery and diagnosis and treatment. I had the second operation in June 2010 and feel I am still recovering in that I feel a lot better this January than I did last year. Generally I can tolerate stressful situations better....so is plenty of time for you to get better and better, especially as you are so young.
Hope you have a treat or three planned for the weekend.
I was worried that people would think i was mad for not taking the promotion.. I some how dont think my family will react in quite the same way. as the cant understand why im not back to my normal self being disease free for nearly 18 months.
Thanks for your kind words. I not to sure that another promotion will come along but hey ho I think i need the time for myself. Yes of course i need the money who doesnt. But im just not in the right frame of mind to take all the responsibilty on, I may lose my job but i will have to take that chance.
Hi Suzanne. Great news about the check-up, and I don't think you're mad to turn down the promotion. We all need time to get over ops, chemo and, not least, the shock of diagnosis. You really need more time. Here's to continuing good results
Hi Suzanne. Really pleased to hear about your CA125 and the check ups. You've made a sane and sensible decision as regards the promotion. You've got your priorities absolutely right.
Hi Suzanne - I agree wholeheartedly with the other ladies. You have made the right decision in turning down promotion at this time. I am sure the offer will come round again, and when it does you will feel far more able to accept it.
Thank you for your kind words. I know the promotion probably wont come around again. But im just not in the right frame of mind so i wouldnt want to take and then let people down.
My family think that i should be over all this by now as i am entering my second year free of disease. But to be honest I still feel like cancer is controlling me.
Hi S, I agree with everyone, why should you take the promotion? You have been through a lot, and family etc should just be happy you are OK! You never know they may surprise you! Just take it easy and enjoy life for a while, I always think we must make the most of life, and not expect so much of ourselves. You deserve to be happy!!! Jan x
I think you have made a very brave and wise decision, and shows you have learned the value of life, that life is far too precious to waste on stress of work, life is for living, most people only realise this when it is too late... so well done...I feel your decision is the right one.
To quote a famous quote "there are no pockets in shrouds" you may have less money but what is the point in earning more? if you then don't have enough time off to enjoy it .
Delighted for you on hearing your news that your check up went ok .
Your body is still in recovery mode from having been put through so much and it is going to take sometime for you to feel like doing more ,so don't feel as though you are letting your family down as of course you are not . I still get so very tired now but know when to stop ....its not easy but I have had to take heed from how I feel .
Keep on going forward xxxx
Love Jan xxxx
Hi Suzanne
Sorry you're still feeling so rough and wiped out, but don't beat yourself up about the promotion thing. If your employer thinks anything of it then sod them - you have every right to judge what you do, and do not, feel is right. The great thing is your health IS better, and so try not to worry. I know where you're coming from re the checkups. Am feeling slightly abandoned myself, and it's only been a few weeks since my first checkup!
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