hello ladies little update.: Hello everyone I... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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hello ladies little update.

suzannehadenough profile image
50 Replies

Hello everyone I hope you are all well.

Im doing ok. Im still having problems with pains in my legs and my back and I am now on tramadol as I cant sleep or get through the day without some relief. Those of you that know me well will know that I hate taking medication but alas i do need some thing to take the edge off.

I have had another MRI and a DEXA scan as im now being investigated for infamatary arthritis. :(

BUt the good news is there is still no signs of the cancer coming back :)

On the work side of life some of you will know that I was offered a promotion with the new owners of the dental surgery I work for. I told you all that I didn't feel I had the energy to do this with all I have been through... Well I plucked up the courage to tell the new owner this and he basically said that If I didn't want to run two practices (on the same wage) that there wouldn't be a job at all for me. He said that he normally wouldn't employ Practice Managers and that his other practices are just nurse led so he would do the same with these two practices if I didn't want to do it. This has left me shocked stunned and very upset. Because now I either have to increase my work load dramatically with no pay increase or walk away and join the unemployment line.. I am the only wage earner in our household so the latter is not really an option. It has obviously come to our attention at work that this employer is not kind hearted or concerned about our needs. NOT what we are used to at all. As Paul our previous employer was very kind hearted and more than fair with us all.

So as you can imagine I'm not a happy bunny.

I hope all you lovely ladies are well and feeling the benefits of the sun making an appearance over the last few days lets hope the temperature increases soon.

Love to you all

Suzanne. xxxx

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citrine profile image
citrine

Dear Suzanne

It sounds as if you are dealing with a particularly nasty piece of work as far as your new boss is concerned. If he is aware of what you've been through he should be treating you more sympathetically. It may be worth getting professional advice as he could be on dodgy ground from an employment law point of view.

I'm so sorry you're having to put up with treatment like this when you have so much on your plate and must be suffering quite a lot of pain. Let us know how the investigation goes.

Thinking of you and sending hugs and kisses.

Love Mary xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to citrine

Thank you so much Mary..

I have thought about talking to someone about him because as you say he could be on dodgy ground. But its difficult to know where to go.

And I will let you know how things go. Hopefully after some scans on my hands and wrists next week the test will be complete so ill get some answers.

Thank you for your comments they mean a lot.

How are you doing at the moment?

Lots of love

suzanne xxxxx

citrine profile image
citrine in reply to suzannehadenough

Doing fine, thanks Suzanne.

Glad the other ladies are rallying around with useful advice. You should be able to nail him!!!

Take care

Love Mary xxx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to citrine

Good im so glad your ok.

Yes the ladies on here are quite something.. I love them to bits.

Thank you. xxx

HI Suzanne,

Your employer is in serious problems. He is firstly changing the terms and conditions of your employment without consultation and agreement. Secondly; and much more pertinently, he is sailing very close to the line of discriminating against someone who is being treated for cancer, and that will put him in deep trouble should you take him to an employment tribunal. I'm sorry, but since being diagnosed, he has to bend over backwards to accomodate you if you are trying to hold down your job.

Look online, but I'm sure a meeting with a Solicitor will give you the information you need to make this point. If he makes it impossible, or even difficult for you to continue work, the employment law is on your side, and you will have a strong case to sue for unfair (constructive)dismissal.

Very best wishes,

Isadora.

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

Isadora. I'm sat in my office and having just read your reply burst into tears. No one seems to realise how stressful all this for me. I feel like i'm under tremendous pressure to do additional duties ( without additional money ) and the energy ) I feel this man is just so unfair in his approach to me. You have just made me feel awhole lot better because I was beginning to think that it was just my own weakness that was the problem. But Its not..

Thank you I am certainly going to try and get some legal advice.

Thank you.

Lots of love

Suzanne. xxx

in reply to suzannehadenough

Get chapter and verse from an employment solicitor before doing anything- especially walking out. It is not just you, and you are not being weak. Bloody hell! Haven't you enough to worry about without extra stress at work?

Let us know what the advice you get is.

Bestest,

Isadora.

Hi Suzanne,

sorry about your pain, but great news the cancer hasn't returned.

I agree with Citrine about your boss. You could always try CAB, There have been a lot of new laws for employees that your boss isn't aware of, or ignoring. ACAS could be another avenue or I;m sure a trade union would give you advice, Unison is the main NHS union and there number will be in the phone book. I think it could be seen as a threat he issued. Best of luck and hope you get a suitable outcome

love Chris xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

Hi Chris Thank you.

Your right it was a threat.. He said we would have to re think my role and my position within the practice and that there would be no use for me if I diodnt want to be the registered manager for the two practices.

I am definitely going to get some advise.because I dont want to wotk under these circumstances.

Thank you for you well wishes they mean so much.

Love Suzanne. xxxx

I am pretty sure it's constructive dismissal honey - ie you could potentially walk out and still have a claim. Get a solicitors advice before you do anything, do not put anything in writing yet. I've done this before once in an unacceptable situation.

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

thank you..

I'm at a loss really hes such a pig (excuse me) I mean ideally I do not want to work for him any way but I just cannot afford to just walk out.

thanks for the advice

Love suzanne. xxx

in reply to suzannehadenough

I know but: Do check then - I got a huge proportion of my years salary because of this. The point is he is already making it pretty impossible for you to stay without taking on an unacceptable change if terms. So you can leave if you want and it is treated as an unfair dismissal nonetheless.

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

Is it really?? I am just trying to find some Telephone numbers of people who might be able to help me.

xxxx

in reply to suzannehadenough

CAB is a good start. I need to call my cousin this weekend - she's not practicing (breast cancer) but is an employment lawyer. Direct message me a few basic facts and I could get a quick sounding maybe...

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

Oh that is great. Thank you i will messageyou the details tomorrow. Thank you. So sorry to hear your cousin is suffering though. Please give her my love. Xxxx

Whippit profile image
Whippit

Dear Suzanne

I was so upset to read that your hopes of the new management leading to exciting new career opportunities has turned into a nightmare.

My advice isn't exactly the same as everyone else's. I'm a union caseworker and have also been through a situation myself that involved direct disability discrimination, bullying and potential constructive dismissal. If you are going along the tribunal route you'll need to collate as much empirical evidence as you can to prove your case. Your new boss might have been cunning enough to conduct his business verbally with you and with no impartial observer so you have no record of what has taken place.

My heart goes out to you because I have been in a similar situation. I consulted one of the most renowned employment law solicitors in Wales. Her charges were £250 per hour plus VAT. I don't say this to boast. I'm just letting you know the costs involved in consulting a solicitor. Hopefully I can share her wisdom and advice with you. Her first question to me was 'What do you want out of this - do you want to continue working or do you want to leave?'. She made the point very gently but firmly that if I wanted to remain in work I would have to negotiate the terms with my employer. If I decided I wanted to leave I had two options - to go down the tribunal route which is a painful, lengthy and stressful process - or to prepare a grievance and negotiate a sum to go quietly. I would imagine you could negotiate a case for redundancy if he is replacing a practice manager by a practice nurse. Redundancy payments tend to be one week's salary for each year worked.

My question to you would be can you find a way to tolerate the changes you are facing at work? Could you have an attempt to adjust the way you work but define your parameters in advance. You must only work your paid hours so if necessary additional duties need to be taken on by someone else. Surely reason would suggest it would be cheaper and more effective to employ you with all your experience than two separate nurses. It might buy you time if you could just give it a go. If the prospects are intolerable it's worth looking for other opportunities. Not easy I know in these difficult financial times.

I'm so sorry I might not be giving you the reply you'd have liked. It is a dreadful thing that Employment Law has been eroded even this year. I'm just trying to offer you a pragmatic viewpoint. You need to look at your options very carefully and the advice to consult your local CAB is an excellent one in the first place.

I know there are other caseworkers who are members of the Ovacome site and who may well be able to give you advice. It's good you've put out feelers to compare the different responses.

Sending you a huge hug. Wishing you didn't have to go through this. Love Annie xxxx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to Whippit

Thanks Annie.

Your right its a very good view point.

If i am honest I DO NOT want to work for this man. He isn't fair. I am currently looking for another job and if the right one comes up then I will take it.So you may be right in saying can I just put up with it till that day comes. And unfortunately that will have to be my choice. because I cannot afford to not work. It just seems so unfair that this man can get away with being this shoddy and unfair.

I feel like God is testing me so hard lately. Not sure how much more i'll be able to take. Much more and i may just tip over the edge.

Thanks for responding and for the hugs.

Lots Of love Suzanne. xxxxxx

Lily-Anne profile image
Lily-Anne

I agree with the constructive dismissal route, but I would say defend yourself, you do not need a lawyer, there is a huge amount of information available to you. My ex-husband took this route with his former employer and won, he was very upset and depressed, working for a well known firm of accountants for over twenty years, the doctor signed him off on sick leave for three months and during this time he recharged his batteries and attempted to go back, he was then signed off again and this time decided he couldn't face going back. It took over a year but the result was good.

My Dad also went to an industrial tribunal, defended himself and won, I'm sure going for it on your own gets better results, I'm a great believer in fighting for your rights, once you get over the shock you need to get angry because that really does push you forward.

Stay cool, take it in your stride and plan a case, you also have every right to ask for your new duties to be put in writing, you could take a free consultation with a lawyer and if they are any good, some are, they will point you in the direction of where to start. You may need a couple of free consultations along the way, but please don't be bullied in the workplace, nobody has the right to make you feel that way.

LA xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to Lily-Anne

Thank you so much.. i am taking all this info on board.

Xxxxx

angelina profile image
angelina

Hi Suzanne

Sorry to hear you are still in pain. I had the same a couple of years ago before OC

and it turned out to be arthiritis, I was going through a 'flare up' as the Dr called it.

I had pyysio and lots of pain killers and eventually the pain subsided.It has flared up

since finishing chemo but I can cope with it as I no longer work.

Regarding the job issue, couldn't you go along with the promotion and try find

another job while still working. Then tell your boss to 'stuff his job where the sun

don't shine'. He sounds a nasty piece of work and if you have any health problems

in the future I don't think he will back you up.

Good luck to you

Love Angie xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to angelina

Thanks angie thats what i intend to do. I don't want to work for aman like this your right there won't be any support in the future.

Thank you for your advice an well wishes. Xxxx

osborne1963 profile image
osborne1963

Hi Suzanne

Go to an empoyment law solicitor or CAB. OVCA is 'protected' under the Equallity legisation uder the Disability characteristic so Im not sure your employer can do that.

Jackie

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to osborne1963

Thank you Jackie. I wil definintly look into this.

Xxx

wendydee profile image
wendydee

Dear Suzanne, I am so sorry that it's come to this with your job - it's just so awful, the man is treating you illegally and unfairly. I take it you are not a member if a union, could you join one? Their advice should be free and they would know the options. It's great that your cancer is being kept on check, such a pity that this man (I agree......pig!) is making what should be a good time in your life so stressful. If you can't go via the union route, I would endorse the CAB suggestion. Good luck,

Love Wendy xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough

Hi wendy. No im not a union member bu

t i have looked into that today. I am not happy at all at the moment. Work is a huge part of life and this is casting a huge shadow over my life at the moment. I won't go down in flames though. I will do my best to make sure im treated fairly.

Thank you for your support means a lot to me.

Love suzanne. Xxx

wendydee profile image
wendydee in reply to suzannehadenough

The other avenue you might try is your local Macmillan centre. They have advisers on work and employment rights for cancer survivors. They may well be able to put you in touch with someone who can advise you and maybe go along and speak to your boss with you.

You must fight it, if you feel strong enough. I know it's all extra pressure, I know you can do without it, but ....... It's important for you to shape your life as you would like it to be if you can, in the best way for you. Do let us know how you get on.

Love W xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to wendydee

Thank you wendy im overwhelmed with all this support your idea to speak.to mcmillan is some thing id not thought of. Your right when you say we have to shape our lives. As life is short .

Thank you.and i will let you know what happens

Love suzanne. Xxxxx

Jan76 profile image
Jan76

Dear Suzanne,

So very sorry to hear to hear things are still not so good with your legs and back and to read that this man if you can call him that is causing you so much distress on top of everything else .... you are in my thoughts xxxx

Having read the really good advice from the ladies in the know , I do so hope you find another job .....not easy I know .... but you deserve more than this .

Hugs ( ) xx

Love Jan xxxx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to Jan76

Thank you jan. It is very annoying that i seem to go to one disaster to another. I am looking for another job so keep your fingers crossed for me.

How are you?xxxx

Jan76 profile image
Jan76 in reply to suzannehadenough

I will do Suzanne xx and lets hope a job comes up really soon .

Your boss does need taking down a peg or two over his treatment of you ....

Keeping well thanks Suzanne and busy which is the way I like it ....

Waiting for more posters , leaflets and Pinbadges from Ovacome so I can carry on my raising awarness through out Norwich .

Having a little break next week up in Derbyshire visting Brian's family which will be nice .

Have a good weekend xx

Love Jan xxxx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to Jan76

i'm so glad you are ok. And I commend you on your campaign, Well done to you. xxx

YOu have a good weekend to Jan.

xxxx

I am so sorry to hear this. Two points: I have an excellent firm of lawyers who initially offered me a free consultation. I don't know where you are but you should be able to find a good lawyer who offers an initial consultation free. Don't be frightened of the cost. My husband works at a very senior level - a while ago he had an issue and he spent a small fortune on employment lawyers, only to find that the firm I use would have given him effectively the same advice for nothing. It is important to use a lawyer who is skilled in employment law.

Secondly, you seem on the verge of burn out. Have you got someone who is there for you? Have you thought of seeing a counsellor? I am having knee problems at the moment, I have arthritis and I know how pain wears you down. It sounds like you need a hug and a break.

Take care,

Cx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

Hello chris thank you. Your right I do feel close to burn out. I am a little on my own if i'm honest. Family members seem to think im back to normal ( i'm not). Work has always been my solitude It's always been the place i'm happiest so this is the worst thing that could happen after everything i've already been through.

Thank you.

xxxx

charlie12 profile image
charlie12

Hi Suzanne

So sorry to hear that you are going through this , it is the last thing you want.Also you would think that as a caring professional your boss would have been more kind to you.

Think carefully about what the best result for you would be and aim for that.....it sounds as if a new job might be the easiest option , if that is feasible...otherwise if you do go for a semi legal resolution of the problem make sure that you get as much as possible in writing

I so hope that your pain gets sorted out . Stress in one area of our lives impacts so much on pain response. I am alot better , am on an increased dose of the treatment for neuropathy for neuropathic pain and this is helping a lot.

Good to hear from you

Love

Charlie xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to charlie12

Thank you charlie... I agree that a new job is going to be the best option. Just hope i can find something sooner rather than later.

I so glad your doing good. Long may it continue to get better for you.

Lots of love

Suzanne.

Xxxxx

Thinking of you and sending my love x G x :-)

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to

Thank you G. How are you?. Xxx

Solange profile image
Solange

Hello Suzanne,

I'm sorry - I've nothing to add to what all our other friends have advised. Just want to send my sympathy and hope you can quickly resolve this horrible situation.

.Hope your aches improve soon, Love Solange xx

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to Solange

Thank you Solange.

I hope your ok.

love Suzanne xxxx

Solange profile image
Solange in reply to suzannehadenough

I'm not too bad thank you, Suzanne. Bit nervous - waiting for scan appointment which is never particularly easy. Days seem like weeks - and then you have to wait for the results ....... Never mind, no good stewing about it. I try and keep busy and stick to the saying - "If you can't change it - don't keep thinking about it" but not always easy.

Hope you're feeling a bit less stressed today,

Love Solange x

jan50 profile image
jan50

Hi Suzanne,

there isn't anything I can add to the excellent advice you have already been given, but I am concerned about you and the levels of stress you are having, sending you a big hug.

I know from your previous posts you have had treatment at the Christie and therefore may live near Manchester, and I don't know if you saw a recent post about a Manchester meeting for members, but wondered if you would be interested in this? It would be a good way to meet others and may be a good source of support if it takes off?

sending you lots of love

Jan x

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to jan50

Hi Jan Thank you so much for your concern. It means a lot.

Please do send me the details of these meetings. If im available I would love to com along

Thank you love

Suzanne, xxx

iamstillme profile image
iamstillme

Hi Suzanne . Bit late in replying to this. First glad all well in cancer side . I too have a lot joint and back pain still . hate having to take pain killers but think can put up with the pain if cancer free ! On the employee side this is dsgusting !! He is a bully and as other advice i would be seeking legal/work advice and taking it further . It does take strength and courage but look what you have been through already and still stayed positive and we are all here for you.

love

ally

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to iamstillme

Thank you Ally It means so much that all you lovely ladies help me like this. Thank you I hope your well. Sorry to hear your having pain like myself. It is awful. I spent the day spring cleaning yesterday and boy did I suffer for it later by tea time i literally couldn't stand up. (surely this cant be normal). I hope I can get to the bottom of what is causing this.

Please take good care of yourself and thank you again

Love Suzanne

xxxx

Orsolini profile image
Orsolini

Suzanne -I agree, call Citzens Advice, I found them really helpful when first diagnosed. Best best best of luck - Nicola

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to Orsolini

Thank you so much

Love

Suzanne,.xxx

ScardyCat40 profile image
ScardyCat40

MacMillian will also be able to help you as we'll. Get all the support you need

suzannehadenough profile image
suzannehadenough in reply to ScardyCat40

Thank you.

How are you doing at the moment?

xxxx

ScardyCat40 profile image
ScardyCat40 in reply to suzannehadenough

Ok had my CT scan on Friday which went according to schedule and I should get the results on Thursday. I've had days where I haven't felt so good

Madz profile image
Madz

Hi Suzanne

I've been away so have missed the more recent posts but just wanted to reiterate that cancer counts as a disability under equality/employment law so your new boss is on very thin ice. Perhaps point out your rights as an employee with the help of mac/CAB??

The other thing is to really consider, as Annie said, what you want to achieve as having chaired a good few grievance hearings they are not pleasant and although I never discourage anyone fighting for their rights you need to get good advice and support before setting off down that road.

Big hugs and keep in touch

Big hugs Amanda

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