Extremely depressed

Hi everyone need some reassurance, I feel so depressed. I don't seem to get my strength back after the weekly taxol, I feel so weak . I am only on number 6 I don't know if I can survive another 12 treatments I suppose if I knew It would give a good remission but I don't feel very positive. So sorry to moan but feel you dear ladies understand. Love and hugs to you all nikki x

18 Replies

  • Hi Nikki,

    I am sorry you are going through it at the moment,it does seem to be a lot still to go through, perhaps your doctor could help with you feeling down, and perhaps you could discuss your options with you oncology team. I hope you will get the support you need sending you my best wishes love x G x

  • It is a long haul Nikki, and feeling weak and horrible is enoughto make anyone feel depressed. You are getting there, though, every week is another one down. It will feel worth it when you get nearer to no. 18.

    'Moan' all you like - you've every right to! What day do you have chemo? Then we can be thinking of you and send positive vibes!

    Monique x

  • thank you ladies i have my chemo on a friday thanj yiy again for your support xxxx

  • Hi Nikki

    It is indeed a long haul as Monique has said above but you can do it. Did you have a scan after the first six? My relative is also on weekly taxol and after her scan there was no evidence of progression some signs of it shrinking. You can do this and we will all be sending you positive vibes come Friday. This horrible weather isn't helping much but you will get through this. Be strong xxx

  • Hi Nikki

    Please hang on in there. I found weekly pacitaxol gave me the longest period in remission - so in my view it is worth it ! Any treatments are worth it but this one in particular. As for depression, I'm afraid its that time of year again, 'sad season' and maybe the cold weather slows down our energy levels to a kind of hibernation and we feel reluctant to do much any way, but I certainly remember laying on the sofa watching TV a lot. When it comes to dark thoughts, plug in the radio or switch on TV or text a friend. Take it easy and accept whatever help and visits are offered, you're half way there.

    x Jen

  • Hi Nikki,

    So sorry to hear that. As you know I am on the same regime , also on a Friday and coming up to number 12. It helps to look at it in 6 week bites . I am getting two Fridays off between each 6 week cycle . Could you ask about that and plan some treats for when you have a break ? It makes it seem more manageable.

    I may have to go to 24 weeks and know I can do it . My attitude is if I can do 18 then I can do another 6 .

    Can you ask about your CA 125 . It helps me to know it is coming down. You can also expect a scan at the end of each 6 week cycle to check progress.

    If it is working it is worth it . If not they will stop it in any event.

    Best wishes


  • Hi Nikki

    Just wanted to say hang on in there, the advice about exploring a mid-chemo break sounds as if it's worth exploring? Sending you a hug and will be thinking of you on Friday.

    Love Wendy xx

  • Thanks Wendy I really am struggling cant wait to do ironing vacuuming etc my husband is brilliant but I want to get back to my old self.

  • Hi Nikki

    You have already been given good advice.

    I got depressed on three weekly regime so I can only imagine how tough it is!

    Take care-sorry things are so difficult at the moment.

    Anne x

  • Dear Nikki

    You have lots of hugs and postiive vibes coming your way from me. It's just awful feeling so tired all the time and depression does hit worst when we're tired.

    You've had a lot of good advice on here - and particularly from Veronica and Jen who've been on your routine. I do wonder whether it's worth speaking to your GP about how you feel and asking whether he/she thinks it's worth you having some anti-depressants. I'm not one for taking tablets but I know when my sister has chemotherapy it makes her really depressed and tablets have helped her a lot. That, I'd imagine, and also the idea of a taxol break for a couple of weeks.

    I'm sending as much love and sympathy as I can. If possible keep at it. Keep posting to us and we'll help you through.

    Loads of love Annie xxx

  • Dear Nikki,

    Hang in there, I do think that everything seems much worse when you are tired. I had weekly taxol with carboplatin three weekly, for a total of 18 weeks, I found counting it down in 6 cycles of three weeks seemed more manageable, so you have completed two cycles, and have only four to go. Treats also help, if you are not up to it could you ask someone else to plan something nice for you? You deserve it,

    Take good care of yourself,

    Sending love and hugs

    Jan x

  • Hi Nike, just wanted to say I totally understand how you are feeling.. Sometimes it feels so hard to keep on with the treatment. But just the same we do. We have to fight our way through it. I promise there will be better days to come.. Just take one day at a time.

    Jules xx

  • Poor Nikki. I remember that feeling well; its overwhelming. Please hang on in there, you are a third in so if you look at it like a journey you are really well underway - there's little point turning back and wasting all this effort. All advice above is good - especially I think the one about asking if the onc can plan you a small break half way. Other than that it really is about taking care of yourself. Forget the housework etc, please. I know 'old self' with chores seems attractive right now, but the chores part really isn't the important bit. Let them fix your health first.

    Enormous hug - please stay bullish, you will get through.


    Sue xxx

  • Thank you sue sounds like I am being totally selfish when onc is doing his best will try and be more positive hugs xx

  • No you do NOT! You have every right. And BTW its not about the onc but about YOU so be a bit kinder to yourself xxx

  • Hi Nikki

    I felt depressed half way through Carbo/taxol chemo so you have my sympathy.

    I have since suffered bouts of depression and have recently seen my GP who has

    put me on anti -deppresants and it has really made a difference....can you have

    a word with your GP or medical team and see if they can help you? You have

    been through such a lot recently so no wonder you are feeling low at the moment.

    Sending you lots of love

    Angie xx

  • I know you've had lots of advice already but I just wanted to add my support. I am on 2 gem/carbos every 3 weeks. So certainly not as hard as your regime but I can imagine how difficult it is. No energy and rubbish on TV is a horrible combination. I have been struggling to think of activities to distract myself that don't require any energy and its a tough one. I'm on anti-ds and wouldn't be without them. I would ask if you can have a week off to enable you to do things. I've just had a week off - went out for a meal and had a few drinks!! Went browsing antique shops with a friend and sat over a hot chocolate for ages. Just getting out of the 4 walls and talking to someone different is a tonic. I know from my own experience that when you are depressed it is a struggle to get out of bed let alone plan trips out. I have had to force myself to do it but its been worth it.

    The sun will come out again.

    Love Sarah

  • Thank you Sarah, my onc has reduced the dose of taxol because he said I have got to have a life, so see what happens this week. Good luck with your regime and lots of hot chocolates love nikkix??

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