Not my best day :-(

Think it has finally hit me today after being diagnosed 3 weeks ago. Until today I did not think it was me that this had happened to and carried on as normall, went to work done all the normal things round the house, but today I realised it was happening to me ! I am just waiting for the hospital to phone re my appointment for my 1st Chemo session they said it would be the week starting 19th June. I am off to work today as normal, and I need to snap out of this. So big smiles :-)

13 Replies

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  • Its perfectly normal to feel down under the circumstances but you do find the strength to cope

  • Dear Doreen

    Yes it is a rollercoaster of emotions, and this is normal we all get them...peaks and troughs...sometimes more troughs than peaks....you have a mountain to climb... Please be gentle with yourself and cry if you want to.. I think being able to cry is a gift and it does help... I am thinking and praying for you and without meaning to trivialise this sending you lots of smiley faces to boot. x G x

    :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) now my finger aches ;-)

  • Take it easy with those emoticons ;)

  • Dear Doreen

    A friend, surgeon and himself a cancer survivor said to me in the early days, "accept, hope, adjust". It was the accepting that came hardest. It is such an enormous about-turn. It just doesn't happen to us.

    Then it becomes a journey, a challenge, a "mountain to climb". You will do it. You may find that when you start chemo you will feel that you are on your way. Keep in touch. Lots of people will be rooting for you. Liz

  • Dear Doreen,

    I was diagnosed just over 2 months ago and have been on a roller coaster ever since. I am generally positive, but find I cope by allowing myself to have days where I have a good sob, wall, shout or whatever it takes- nobody can be positive all the time when coping with this b......y illness!!

    love

    Jan x

  • Hi Doreen, you are in good company here and we all know what you are going through. So I am sending you lots of hugs and tell that miserable little thingy inside you to butt out as you are now ready to do some fighting. Go girl :))))) Gill xx

  • Hi Doreen

    I think it does tend to hit you in stages, it's as if your mind only allows a bit at a time, then suddenly you realise that yes it is happening to you and hit a bit of a low, but somewhere you find the strength to cope. I find my emotions are all over the place and I've been dealing with it for over a year now, so cry when you need to, don't always think you have to be strong, but make the most of the good times as well and laugh as much as you can.

    Big hugs

    George xx

  • Hi!

    I completely agree that accepting is the most difficult part! I feel better now that I am still here almost three years down the line! It helps me to remember that life is a terminal condition and, at my age every year is a bonus! Live for today, we know not what tomorrow will hold! I have just agreed to about £600 worth of work on my car! New brakes, new tyres, new rear screen washer /wiper motor! Oh for the days when I could jury rig repairs with one of my stockings to replace the fan belt and have been known to stuff my knickers into the holes in the floor to keep my feet dry! In those days no MOT and most cars were positively dangerous! I speak of the late 50's early 60's!

    You are currently at the despair stage! It does get better, honest! I have stopped screaming and the nightmares are fewer! I am much bolshier though. LOL!

  • Hello Doreen

    The diagnosis is a terrible shock, and you would not be normal if you did n't feel shocked, sad and worried.You will deal with this in your own time and in your own way. Some people find it easier to cope by working and doing everything as normal, but if you feel like taking time off I hope you are able to, do so. Positivity is all very well, but its actually not normal to be like that every day when you have just been diagnosed with cancer.

    .Be kind to yourself and treat yourself.

    Juliex

  • Thank you everyone I feel a lot better reading all the lovely posts. I thought I was supposed to feel fine about having OC but now i know I can cry and scream when I need to it makes me feel a lot better. Just finished work having a well earned drink then off to bed, got an appointment at the hairdressers tomorrow for my wig fitting. Im having a short bob ( I think) :-)

  • Hi Doreen

    I am so glad you are feeling a bit better now. We all rant and rave and swear sometimes, for ourselves and then for others too. It's a b*****d disease, it's something none of us would wish on anyone and sometimes it's good for us to let off steam. Rant away, whenever you feel like it. We'll be here to listen and nod along with you. I hope the hairdresser's appointment goes well.

    Love Wendy xx

  • Hi Doreen as others have kindly replied-it is understandable how you are feeling . Not only have to come to terms with diagnosis but everything happens so fast , In 12 weeks i have 2 lots surgery and 3 cycles chemo !. people will say to you about having good and bad days but i think you can have a hundred emotions in one day . In a way it is good to try and keep things as normal as you can-after all you are still you. Do not be afraid to open up to others and say how you are feeling . Good luck with wig fitting(take a friend or two)

  • Hi Doreen,

    I totally agree with what has been said by everyone else. It does get better and the chemo is not usually as bad as you imagine it is going to be. I remember being terrified having my first one. I was shaking and felt faint but it was actually okay and the nurses were brilliant we had a bit of a laugh while I was there.

    I didn't get many side effects either which I think several of the ladies on here have said.

    This group is wonderful as it gives you both support and a place to vent all those feelings and frustrations. Take every offer of help and support you are given and you will find your new normal.

    Good luck

    Jackie

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