hello

[Black-Poppy]

I am currently coming to the end of preliminary investigations and have been told I have ovarian cancer. 6 days ago I had radiological drainage of 5.7 litres of fluid from my abdomen and biopsies of omentum. I am waiting for the histology and then expect to start chemotherapy. After completely losing my appetite I am slowly beginning to eat again. I have little energy but expect I will regain this once my appetite returns. At times I feel completely overwhelmed by the diagnosis and hate being so dependent on my husband. I have always run the household and find it so difficult watching him having to learn how to do the things I have always done

[Alpacalama]

Hi Black-Poppy, your post is like reading my exact situation 3yrs ago. symptoms ascites, diagnosis 4b, and treatment adjuvant chemo, debulking surgery, more chemo. I lost 3st was very weak. My husband had to take over household chores and cooking. Big learning curve but he’s now very capable and a better cook than me at some things! It took a while to adjust because he didn’t like me suggesting ways to do things, took it as criticism. I learnt to humbly accept that things weren’t going to be perfect and be grateful for the support. He is my rock and I couldn’t live without him❤️

The first 6mths were traumatic and it took a further 18mths to accept and adjust to how life had changed. Many cope better than I did and I wish the best for you. I’m now 2+1/2yrs NED and living a hopeful life and the best I can. We are all here for you at this scary time

Sending hugs Pauline

[Black-Poppy in reply to Alpacalama]

Pauline, Your treatment sounds similar to what the oncologist has outlined for me, it is scary but I am keen to get started and have a great support system around me. My husband isn’t keen on accepting help from family members, he too sees it as criticism but they are able to help in other ways such as cooking meals occasionally.

Thanks to everyone for your support, I had resisted joining the forum as I thought it would be full of doom and gloom but have found the opposite is true and I am so glad I have found you all now ❤️

[Alpacalama in reply to Black-Poppy]

Hi again I didn’t find out about Ovacome until after primary treatment was finished. Wish it had been sooner! I’ve been to 2 annual Wellbeing days and would really recommend them in the future once you’re on the road to recovery. Great talking with others with same ?’s and worries. I learnt a lot from guest speakers. Meantime any questions feel free to ask here as we are all friends and want to support. I love hearing from long term survivors especially stage 4b like myself.

[Black-Poppy in reply to Alpacalama]

Thank you, will look at the Wellbeing days in the future. At the moment I am resting as much as possible and eating when I can to keep my strength up for when my treatment starts. So far I have had incredible support from you lovely ladies on here, you have raised my spirits no end. ❤️

[Lind58]

thinking of you ❤️

[Motiva]

Oh Poppy I remember those feeling of fear, dread and grief at the lost life that was. Your mind and body are making massive adjustments and like Pauline it took me a long time.

She gave really good advice on learning to accept things wombs the same but they do change and your mind can eventually come to some level of acceptance.

For me finding out a lot of information and sources of independent support- Maggie’s, MacMillan/Bupa mental health support , psychologist, counsellor and groups like this one.

I hope you can get started with your treatment soon. Appetite wise I was similar. I ate small high calorie bites like party food canapés- things I would have previously avoided. Opposite of usual health advice - more snacking and fewer set meals.

Resting when you body asks for it helped me - I tried initially to resist it but the huge trauma of a diagnosis is exhausting.

I think that your husband is on a steep learning curve and will get better too and managing all that you would have done so easily done in the past.

F x

[Black-Poppy in reply to Motiva]

Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot. I hope I get started on the treatment soon, the waiting is like torture but I understand why and it is enabling me to gain strength by eating more.

[JDKPA in reply to Motiva]

My radiation oncologist was a big believer in what she called "body rest" for at least one solid hour per day. I found that it was good advice, even now, 15 years later.

I also dealt with terrible grief for the life that could have been. Sometimes that grief still rears its head and I have to give myself a stern talking to.

[delia2]

Welcome! This forum helped me a lot when I was diagnosed six years ago. I felt the same as you about letting my husband do everything. In fact a year later I was fighting to convince him to let me do household chores! But I felt very fortunate because he and my daughters really stepped up for me. The initial diagnosis and treatment are a psychological shock apart from the physical aspects and it takes time to come to grips with it all but you will. And your husband will need support too, but hopefully from friends and family, not just you because you may have nothing to give sometimes. Anyway just take one day at a time and enjoy any little pleasures you can.

[Black-Poppy in reply to delia2]

Thank you, that is so helpful. I am lucky that I have great support from a variety of people but my husband has two very good male friends who contact him regularly to let him know that they are there for him.

I agree, the psychological shock is immense, aside from the fact that I was feeling so unwell and so quickly after being so fit and healthy but I am beginning to get my head around things now and feel very supported by this group. Thanks again.

[chocolatemilk44]

Black_Poppy. Your journey is just beginning. I was diagnosed in May 2023. Chemo debulking more chemo maintenance, RECURRENCE. more chemo and now maintenance medication. My quality of life is good . I am thrilled to still be here. We are here for you so reach out. This group is wonderful.