update

[Mickie1409]

so today I had ct scan of course I got to the hospital and cried from start to Finish I think I have white coat syndrome where just the thought of hospital sends me into a blind panic I do suffer in normal life with anxiety depression and ptsd so I suppose that doesn’t help anyway I want to say thankyou to everyone who commented on my post and secondly to ask if anyone else’s anxiety was worse after scan I can’t seem to settle on anything I keep wanting to cry( although if you read my previous posts you would think that that’s my norm) I thought I would feel better after I managed to do the scan as that was a really big deal for me but I feel worse xxxx

[Lyndy]

Bloody well done for getting through it Mickie1409!

Not surprised you are feeling a bit jangly but give yourself a massive pat on the back!! x

[Mickie1409 in reply to Lyndy]

thank you for being so kind it helped that I was in with some really amazing staff this time round xxx

[Pinks2020]

Hi I was diagnosed in 2020. I was in hospital for a month and everytime a doctor came to talk to me, I would cry. Every scan would freak me out.My point is that you are dealing with an awful, stressful and frightening situation. We have to process so much information and constantly waiting for updates and decisions plays havoc with our mental health.

Please don't Google. Please make sure that you have some time to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. I think of a rectangle and breathe in on the short sides and breathe out on the long side.

I am sending you a hug xx

[Mickie1409]

thank you so much I’m not normally a cryer my friends will tell you in nine years they have only seen me cry a couple of times but this last two months I can’t even have anyone discuss it with me without bursting into tears I’m glad I’m not the only one xxx

[LesleyGB in reply to Mickie1409]

You will probably be feeling stressed, scared, worried, and not sleeping, plus you have your previous anxiety, etc, lurking. It's very up and down. Don't ignore how weepy being tired can make you feel. You have done the first stage - okay you cried - so what? - but you did it! That in itself is an achievement - be proud of yourself. Stick a note on the wall reminding yourself - I used to list everything I had to have done and tick it off afterwards as a reminder that I was getting through everything and could carry on doing it. And don't be surprised if you go into complete meltdown for no real reason totally unconnected with your diagnosis - I am sure our bodies know thgat crying can be a great stress reliever! Let us know how you get on. And again feel proud at coping with a bad situation.

x

[Mickie1409 in reply to LesleyGB]

thankyou for your reply I’m feeling a lot better xxx it’s nice not to feel so alone xxx

[Riverflo]

Well done for getting through the scan!! Doesn't matter that you cried, it's strange how few people walk around hospitals crying when you think about it!And I'm not surprised that you're still so out of sorts because you are waiting for the results which is potentially more scary.

It took me a while to recognise my own anxiety for the few days leading up to onc meetings.

I hope yours brings good news.

Martine x

[Mickie1409 in reply to Riverflo]

thank you and you are right about hospitals and crying and my anxiety is in overdrive however I’m feeling a lot better and more positive this morning xxxx

[Atai]

Well done for getting there and getting through it! You’re probably on an adrenaline “come-down” now after being so anxious, hence feeling on edge. You’re doing just fine, we all freak out occasionally or very often friending on who we are ♥️

Make sure you have little things lined up to do to try and distract you, and listen to some comedy podcasts or similar. Sending hugs x

[Mickie1409 in reply to Atai]

thank you so much for you reply and advice it’s just nice too not feel so alone I do feel better this morning xxxx

[Fluffyjumper]

Well done for getting through your scan. It’s natural to feel anxious while waiting for the results. Not knowing is the worst part. I hope that you get good news. You are doing great. The fact that you are on here sharing your experiences may help someone else cope with their anxiety, scans and other stresses. I know it will be hard but try and do something nice this weekend - you deserve it.

[Mickie1409 in reply to Fluffyjumper]

thank you so much for your reply feel better this morning it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one to have these feelings xxxx

[Morini]

My first CT scan was the worst, I nearly leapt off the bed about having the cannula put in, they had to calm me and talk me through it. And then they stayed with me just dashing out the door as the machine started!

I've always found the wait between procedure and results very difficult, knowing someone has the info and I don't is hard and then my imagination is going wild over every possible scenario.

Look after yourself in this period, find some enjoyable things to do and let us know how you get on xx

[Mickie1409 in reply to Morini]

thank you for the reply I feel better this morning it’s nice too know that I’m not the only one to feel this way xxx

[Hidden]

Hey I have always suffered with anxiety and since my diagnosis it has become worse. Everytime I saw a nurse or consultant I would cry, I would convince myself that every appointment would be bad news. I can so relate with you and how you are feeling. This journey is a hard one, full of tears but remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that everyone on this group is here for you x

[Mickie1409 in reply to Hidden]

thankyou for your reply this group is amazing the fact that there are people on here going through so much that they have the time to support others is amazing xxx

[Jacquiemoo]

I have a friend who has that too. Her blood pressure sky rockets when she goes. She has stage 4 lung cancer previous breast cancer. She has anxiety for each of her scans so you are not alone. Hang in there, I'm sure you can pull your stronger side out. I have my scan on may 8th, a little nervous as this will be first one since debulking and total hysterectomy surgery. I'm going to be thinking positive for my family, friends and myself. We got this!

[Mickie1409 in reply to Jacquiemoo]

thankyou so much for your reply I will be keeping everything crossed for you that everything goes well please let us know. Sending hugs xxxx

[Jacquiemoo in reply to Mickie1409]

Thank you, will do..same for you. Pray all goes well.

[Django123]

I don't have anything practical to add, just sending good wishes your way. Remember, some things are worth getting upset over. Be kind to yourself. --Lani

[Mickie1409 in reply to Django123]

thank you so much xxx

[MissEd]

Hi Mickie,

Perfectly normal I think, my mum was exactly the same. I think I'd only seen her cry a few times in 29 years but then I think for a long time after she was diagnosed she cried many times a day. Her anxiety was also through the roof to the point where she stopped driving.

Well done for getting through your scan. X

[Mickie1409 in reply to MissEd]

thank you for your reply I hope your mum is doing ok xxxx

[DinkyAnnecy]

I understand how you feel. I am okay for a few days post scan then the weight of the next scan resurfaces. If there is anything worthy to cry about it’s cancer. Best of luck to you!

[Mickie1409]

thank you for your reply I know what you mean the whole thing is pretty much the only thing I think about xxxx