How do I stop constantly worrying about recurrence?

[Shorty18]

My mum had her debulking surgery last Wednesday and was discharged from hospital on Sunday afternoon. The doctors told us that they got all of the cancer, which I am over the moon about, however I can’t stop worrying about the cancer coming back. I feel like although we’ve had this great news I’m struggling to be happy. It’s like there will always be a black cloud hanging over us worrying that it’s going to come back. Does anyone have tips on how you’ve coped with this? I want to enjoy time with my mum like we used to before this diagnosis without constantly thinking about cancer.

[Hidden]

Hi.My daughter is very much like yourself, she worries all the time and tells me she misses her old mum.

I reassure her that this us just a temporary set back and that once my treatment ends I will be back to the old mum she remembers. Treatments now are improving everyday and by the sounds of it your lovely mum is doing well as they removed all the cancer.

I have realised since my diagnosis that I have to enjoy everyday as none of us know what's round the corner! Enjoy time with your mum, dont waste the days worrying and focus on the future. I know it's hard but dont let this hang over you. Take control...tell that bloody cancer to bugger off! Dont let it fill your head with negative thoughts, fill it with positive! Xx

[Katmal-UK]

My mum was diagnosed with OC and I know how you feel. What you have to do is find a mindset of living in the present and not the future because today is a ‘Present’, nobody is guaranteed a future. Try writing that down and looking at it, because you need to focus on the here and now, on what you have otherwise you will continue to worry. Also it may be worth seeking counselling for yourself to understand how to cope. I hope you Mum is doing well xx

[JanePW1965]

Hi Shorty.

It is such a shock isn't it. My mum was diagnosed grade 3c high grade serous in Dec 2013. She had the Carbo/Taxol chemo either side of debulking surgery. Unfortunately she did recur, which was such a shock. She'd had her last chemo in July 2014. I went with her in the Oct for her first three month check up and all looked fine. But on 6 Jan 2015 she had the awful news that she had recurred.

She went on to have 6 x Caelyx which kept her stable but then the cancer became active again. She then had 6 x Carbo/Taxol again. Apparently she couldn't have the Carbo/Taxol for second line chemo as it was too close to the first dose. She found it really helpful to keep a diary and write down how she felt as there seemed to be a pattern and she would know when she would have good days.

I live over 200 miles from my mum so it has been very difficult. She had her last chemo in June 2017 and has been clear of cancer ever since and her quality of life is good. I'm down with her this week and having a lovely time with her, getting out and about.

I can't believe I've just spent another Mothers' Day with her after all she's been through.

Try to be positive even though it is difficult. You have to take it a day at a time. Hopefully you don't live too far from your mum.

You'll get plenty of advice on this site. It's been so helpful for me. At first I didn't want to research too much but then I realised it would be useful to have a better understanding of the OC.

Sending a positive hug. Jane XX 🤗

[Carpediem68 in reply to JanePW1965]

Hi Jane

I'm so pleased to read that your mum has been doing so well since 2017 despite all she has been through. Do you mind if I ask if she has been on any maintenance drugs since her last chemo? I totally agree with your philosophy of living one day at a time. That is how I'm trying to live my life now. It's a bit of a mental switch but I definitely think the best way of coping. I hope you mum remains well for many years to come! x

[JanePW1965 in reply to Carpediem68]

Hi Carpediem68 - other people have asked if mum is on maintenance drugs and no she isn't. I've often wondered why she hadn't had some sort of maintenance drug after her last chemo.

I think it's a case of having to cope isn't it. It's so hard on relatives as well as the actual person going through it. Each birthday and Mothers' Day I've thought 'Is this the last one?'!! Well, 10 Mothers' Days and 9 birthdays later.....!! But I think it's best to think like that and really celebrate.

Sending positive vibes.

Jane x 🤗

[OvacomeSupport Partner My Ovacome Team]

Hello Shorty18

Thank you for your post. I'm sorry you're experiencing such a worrying time at the moment. I can see you've had lots of helpful replies from our members. I just wanted to let you know about an Ovacome webinar which may be of interest to you. It's about managing anxiety after treatment ends and coping with the fear of recurrence. It is aimed mainly at those diagnosed with ovarian cancer but I hope you will find it useful. You can view it on our website here: ovacome.org.uk/looking-afte...

You would also be very welcome to attend our friends and family support group who meet online on the last Tuesday of the month, there are details here: ovacome.org.uk/event/family...

We're here to support you, so if you ever want to talk anything through please do get in touch with us. We're available Monday-Friday 10am-5pm on 0800 008 7054 or you can email us at [e-mail] or direct message us through this forum too.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Anna

Ovacome Support

[Leniko]

that’s perfectly normal especially at first. I think as time goes on you will worry about it less and less, and go on with your life. Just be vigilant when it comes to check ups, and good luck.