Why am I worrying?

3 weeks ago I had to have a light heated 'chat' with my daughters about the BRCA test's I was about to have and the implications that could possibly follow on from this (don't worry, all will be fine I told them- inside my stomach was in knot's & still is, worrying that if I have it and iv passed it on to them, they have such possibly life changing decisions to make if the result is positive.

3 days ago I went to my doctors as the pain in my shoulder has got progressively worse over the last month and now affects my neck and i have a pain in my chest that hurts when i breathe.My lovely doctor said that as it was understandable i might be worried following my TAH 6 months ago, she was however alarmed enough to send me immediately for a full blood test (including C125) and a chest x ray.

Today my gorgeous 28 year old son has had an MRI scan in Leeds as his doctors and consultants think the brain tumour he had 7 years ago has come back.

So why am i worrying you ask, well now iv just realised.... the BRCA test will come back negative, my bloods and x rays will show nothing worse than a trapped nerve and my adorable son will be fine and just need stronger glasses!............. However, all the worrying about things that are unlikely to happen will worry me into having a blooming heart attack and that, not the bloody cancer will kill me off!!!! lol. hahaha.

(On reading this back, some of you lovely ladies may conduce that iv lost the plot :-) maybe i have, but if it makes you laugh then it's made my day xxxx)

32 Replies

  • Yes it certainly made me laugh and its so good to rant! We are the only ones who can understand what we are going through. I get so fed up of being told it's old age or "I get that, its nothing to worry about" unless your in the club they do not have a clue. Fingers crossed for us all.

  • Thank you Trix, I hate having to be in this club but love the members who are part of it :-) xx

  • Oh Janette, I did laugh but it was a bit of a mixture of laughter and tears, cos that is quite a lot to worry about!!

    Really hope your son will be ok and no wonder you're worrying given his previous history, you're his mum, bound to worry.

    About your shoulder pain and chest I've just had x rays for my shoulder, they were ok and had antibiotics for chest, just an infection, so try not to worry too much. And as you say all will probably be well, and stress is no good for you. Take care and don't worry too much!!

    Love Kaz x x

  • Thank you Caz, so glad your ok and sure we'l be fine :-) xx

  • Speechless!! Love x G x

  • Aw Gwyn, bet my partner wishes i was!!! lol :-) xxx

  • Hi Janette

    Sending you best wishes because I know exactly how you feel. I was in a very similar place a few years ago worrying about everything and worrying that worrying was bad for me as well!

    I did turn out to be BRCA positive. My three children tested and both my daughters tested positive and my son negative. My youngest daughter also had a mri brain scan as she was having numbness down one side of her body, every niggle I get i worry it is the cancer returning and I have twice had chest pain once being a chest infection and the other time it was blood clots on my lungs. The only reason I am telling you all this is because even if the worst happens and you do have any of these things, all can be managed/treated.

    My daughters coped very well with the knowledge (better to know and be able to make decisions based on that knowledge). My chest infection was sorted with a course of antibiotics and the blood clots were treated with a course of anti-coagulants and have dispersed now.

    When do you get your BRCA test results? Do you know they have a BRCA storyline running on Eastenders at the moment? I am very impressed with the way they are getting all the facts across within the drama. It might help your daughters understand.

    I hope everything will turn out fine for you. I hope your son is ok and that the tumour hasn't returned.



  • Hi Sharon, don't really watch soaps but funny enough went to daughters house last week and she had eastenders on tele, day i think she was telling her daughters that she was positive and i was gobsmacked!! Daughter turned to me and said 'Oh, yeah i forgot you don't watch soaps.. I know all about it now' lol, so guess the worry about the 'chat' with them really has been unnecessary! :-) test results in about 3 or 4 weeks xxx

  • Plots can be usefully lost for a while without it damaging anything, Janette. I think most of us can relate! Fingers crossed for you, your son, and your daughters too, that these do indeed prove to be storms in teacups. Laughter is always good for the soul, regardless!


    Sue xxx

  • lol Thanks Sue, think i need to invest in a Sat Nav lol xxx

  • Hi Janette

    I love your posts and I had to chuckle at your way of processing stress. We certainly don't want you having a heart attack. Cancer is quite enough! As Trix says people might not understand our take on things unless they've got this disease. I love your positive spirit and thank you for sharing it because it might be a ray of hope for others who are going through rough times and finding it difficult to process their emotions.

    I'm gunning for you whatever the future may bring.

    Love Annie xx

  • Thank you Annie, I love reading your post's too xxx

  • I do hope everything will be fine Janette. I'm not surprised that you are anxious. Cancer changed me from a person who was always relaxed about my own health into someone who gets jumpy whenever I sneeze. Fingers crossed for you.

    Love Mary xx

  • lol Thanks Mary xx

  • Aw bless you Janette ;-) your post did make me smile. Gosh isn't life complicated!!! I think although we do worry about our own niggles its family worries that affects me more. I am BRCA1 positive and as yet (for various reasons) my 4 children havent been tested. There is no desperate rush but its likely that out of 4 at least one of them will have the gene. But at least the knowledge will give options. Better to know. I DO hope you are BRCA negative and your son is okay and your shoulder is nothing to worry about but you will cope whatever the outcome because you are strong. :-) Lots of love and hugs.

    MB xxx

  • Thank you MB xx

  • aw forgot to say my friend sent me a lovely quote the other day..... 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have' :-)

  • Hi Janette,

    We really don't stand a chance do we? if like you the horrible C doesn't do us then we line our selves up for well in my case I think madness, my head positively hurts at the stress sadness anxiety and now the obsessional me that has evolved and taken flight with this diagnosis. I was never a great worrier about by body but now I daily put it under a microscope, well not literally but you know what I mean.

    I am also waiting for the results as you know for the BRCA screening and I'm treading very carefully with my girls who are still dealing with the loss of their father. Keep strong Janette which clearly you are, hope things go well for you and your children and keep that sense of humour. NOW where's that mirror just one more check :)

  • lol love that despite everything you women on here truly understand who i am at the moment and can still laugh with me, thank you xxxx

  • It did make me laugh but I also understand the other side of it. Having had cancer twice, with 25 years in between, I feel more in control with this one. I live alone but have a fabulous support network of family and friends and a lovely son. I have just found out I have the BRCA1 gene and because I have talked to my sister and nieces about this they will all, if needed, be tested. All my family realise that this is a giant step forward against cancer. I wish you all the luck in the world. Best wishes xxxx

  • Thank you xxx

  • Hi Janette, thanks for your poist. I did chuckle a bit as I have been there myself with regards to the BRACA gene testing and am still waiting for results ( I have 2 daughters). I do hope that your son's scan will reveal that his tumour hasn't come back. Such a worrying time for you all. Stay strong and keep up that fighting spirit. Ann xo

  • Thank you Ann xx

  • Thank you Millie, and will do- being on here and meeting you all has been such a positve thing in my life xx

  • I think most of us on this site can completely understand the whirl of emotions this wretched disease has us caught up in. So glad though that you can smile and see the funny side sometimes. It's humour of all shades that gets us through I think!

    Alex XXXX

  • Thank you Alex xxxx

  • Can anyone tell me how I go about getting tested for BRCA1 &2?

  • You have to have historical link moatenwell, I asked my consultant if i could be referred x

  • Yes, defo lost the plot but made me laugh! It's difficult to stop your mind from wandering and doing it's own thing from time to time. We all have that problem.

    Annette xxx

  • Thank you AnneMae xx

  • I didn't know what anxiety was until I got this diagnosis! I whilst I was in for my op, the ward sister said I seemed "quite an anxious person" and I wanted to bellow, "OF COURSE I'M B**** ANXIOUS, I'VE GOT CANCER!"

    I don't think we'd be human if we didn't worry about the situation we find ourselves in!

    Anyway - whatever the BRCA results, maybe Eastenders will have made things easier for you to discuss it with your daughters --- And your shoulder is probably just a bit achy for no good reason really -- and I hope your son'sscan results come back soon and are OK.

  • Thank you for your kind words they mean so much, got some blood test results back - apparantly have a very low Vitamin D count (the doctors receptionist rang to say had a prescription ready but couldn't tell me why i had a low count) oh, doctor google why do i consult you!! lol... it's common when you have a serious cancer .. but could be to do with HRT patches messing stuff up.. 6 months ago i'd have been a wreck now, now tho- i'm going with the HRT option, you ladies have taught me the biggest lesson in life thanks to your optimism and that is 'don't go looking for trouble, wait til trouble finds you' :-), no scan results for Dan yet, but hopeful no news is good news xx

You may also like...