Understanding people's thoughts

[Bobbyo1]

Just recently we have opened up our ladies group which I have missed since COVID . We have a lot of new members it's a group where if you want to offload you can but I know not everyone wants to hear your thoughts as a lady that I knew were talking about preparing our self's when the time comes but unfortunately I find it was the wrong time to mention this as a new lady told us to stop talking about this and said sorry which I apologize for upsetting her and realised that it not the thoughts of other people but I did not want to put her off coming to group I feel guilty off for discussing this but the other person brought it up for discussion I know everyone is different on this subject xx

[Saintgermain]

Hi Bobby,I’m a Newbie my local survivor group which is the US equipment to Ovacome UK has monthly Zoom groups I didn’t know that they were by Stage 1-3 & 4 up I’m 3B and was fresh out of treatment I logged into the advanced group I reacted like the Girl you described but I remained silent for the 2 hour meeting my heart was breaking for a couple of these women I was short of taking a Xanax when it ended my anxiety was at an all time high the next month I logged into the other group it’s a much better fit for me at present.

[Rhonddalady]

Hi Bobby, it is a difficult situation to be in. We each have our own personal journeys through diagnosis and treatment. I was diagnosed with PPC/ Ovarian C in February 2020 and I joined this site soon after. It has helped me tremendously to come to terms with my diagnosis. The very sad stories and the positive ones have helped me be realistic and stay positive. I sorted out my funeral plan within a month , even before treatment started- my children were very upset with me at the time - now they can joke about it. I maybe one of the lucky ones or maybe not- who knows? It is important that we discus end of life care because life itself is terminal. Hopefully this lady will eventually come to terms with her diagnosis. Your group is there for people to offload both good and bad outcomes and it can be upsettingto others- but there are things that sometimes we can't or won't discuss with friends and family . Please don't feel bad or guilty you are doing your best to help others. Sending you a hug 🤗 Jan xx

[Bobbyo1 in reply to Rhonddalady]

Thankyou for getting back to me I was diagnosed 8 years ago I have lived and laugh through my journey hope this lady sees this for herself best of luck on your journey xx

[koffeekat99]

Hi. It sounds great that you have a local f2f group specific to OC.When first diagnosed I had a bleak prognosis. I tried a general f2f support group as there wasn’t one specific to OC. It became obvious quickly that I was in a different place to the other people in the group who were all early stage and NED. I didn’t return as I didn’t feel it met my needs.

It sounds like your group has met your needs and you want to continue to be able to do that.

Just wondering if there’s scope in your group for general discussion and then breakout groups so that people can continue to speak freely? I think it is imortant to have a space where you can do that. I do understand though that some people might not be quite ready for some discussions and they won’t be getting what they feel they need at that point. But if you can’t talk openly about your concerns then you’re also not getting what you need. Hence trying a session with breakout groups so everyone is able to speak freely about their concerns at that point in time.

[Bobbyo1 in reply to koffeekat99]

Thanks for your reply the group is for all types of ladies cancers as like yourself I could not find anything for O.c out there except for this one that's a good idea to have a break out session I will suggest this next time and let you know how it goes

[Lyndy]

I understand what it feels like to be a scared newbie but I agree that people living with long term cancer need to talk about the end because it’s our reality. I have always wanted to go to one of those ‘death cafe’ events because we are generally squeamish about talking about it. I think you did the right thing to care for her by stopping at the time but she needs to understand that people do want to talk about it…maybe she could excuse herself? xx

[Bobbyo1]

Thankyou I never heard of a death cafe before but your right this is an opportunity to talk to people especially this lady as she lives on her own and she has not talked or been anywhere since the pandemic but I know it's a thing that some people feel uncomfortable with perhaps she be able too once she's ready xx

[OvacomeSupport Partner My Ovacome Team]

Hi Bobbyo1,

Thank you for your post. I am sorry that this experience in the group has left you feeling guilty. I can see that some members have left some supportive replies, so I hope this is of some comfort for you.

As you know and mentioned, talking about preparing yourself for when the time comes can be a difficult subject for those living with a cancer diagnosis. Ovacome recognise that it is a topic that some people do want to openly discuss and should be able to do so safely.

At Ovacome we offer a range of different support groups for people affected by ovarian cancer, one of which is an online group called ‘End of Life Matters’. You may find it more comfortable to be able to discuss those particular things that are on your mind. Here is the link to sign up for the group.

ovacome.org.uk/Event/end-of...

We are also here to support you so please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us if you would like to talk through anything or just for a friendly chat. You can reply directly through this forum or call our support line on ([phone]. We’re here Monday – Friday, 10am – 5pm (U.K time). Best wishes, Sorcha, Ovacome Support.

Warm wishes,

Sorcha, Ovacome Support

[Bobbyo1 in reply to OvacomeSupport]

Thanks for your reply but at this moment in time it just nice speak on here and at my group