The rug has been pulled out from under my feet again

[EilyEire]

Havin a bad time , ct scan showed up lympnodes in chest area causing trouble now, more bloody cemo high dose of carb , cant get my head around it feeling so sad and weepy ,I know it will pass ,leg still swollen ,what next ,Had to have a mone. xxx

[Hidden]

HI Eily Eire, I am sorry you have to go back on treatment.  Yes I agree it is hard to get your head around it especially with the summer in sight.    The good side is that you have a plan of action, one you didnt want but a plan to kill those buggers into submission again.    The hard time is from now to the date you start treatment but once you start you will feel that you are on the right road again.   Try and do something nice for yourself before you start treatment if you can.   Recurrences are stuff we can well do without and we do get upset over it all that is normal.  If there is a support centre near you, do go and talk to someone.  I know its not for everyone but I have done this and found it beneficial.  Sending you a big hug

[EilyEire in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Su Ive only finished Topencan , this is my 5th different cemo in 4 years , how much more can I take x

[Luk4ward in reply to EilyEire]

Why you have the strength and courage you always have a fighting chance, keep strong. I may have to start my 5th line within a couple of months.

[TinaB1]

Suzuki is right, I feel in my heart. Sending many hugs and love too . Xx

[Caroles1]

Suzuki is right, once you start the treatment you will kick into fight mode, the worst thing is getting the plan in place and getting the right mind set, but, you can do it love and you will prevail.

Best to speak to someone who can support you, we are always here as well,but extra help is always a good thing.

Wishing you well and let us know how you get on

Love Carole xxx

[TrishLey]

I am sorry you have to go bsck on the Chemo.. It is always a shock no matter how many times we have it (I'm on 4th line). I wish you all the best and I am glad they are making a plan of action for you. xxxxx Trish As for swollen leg both mine are huge and I am trying to get my head around the lack of mobility at the moment. You should check it out with your GP.

[HogwartsDK]

Hey E,

So sorry to hear you had bad news but hopefully the chemo will help, though I know it's hard to have to face in to it again so soon! If you ever need to have a good moan in person send me a pm and we can meet up if you like. 

Mind yourself! 

Dx

[ellseybellsey]

Eily

Hugs and kisses from a new member, you have actually given me hope when you say 4 years on.

[Seren1942]

I don't post often now having lost my beautiful daughter 48 to this monster, but having read all your posts I feel as if I could be your Mum in my mind. I shall be fighting your corner with all my strength. Sending lots of love and hugs and encouraging thoughts. Gillx

[LesleyGreengran]

Sorry to hear that. It's always worse at the start. I have my fifth dose of cisplatin on Thursday (3rd lone) and I feel much more positive now than I did at the start, and the third week of each cycle I'm able to do a lot more and get out and about. Yorkshire Sculpture Park is the plan for this afternoon, though mostly because I hope there are baby grebes as much as the art. That will lift my heart however I feel physically. 

[Hidden]

You are entitled to have a moan and feel weepy, you've been through so much and sometimes you do think dark thoughts but Suzuki is right you will feel stronger when treatment starts and kicks this in the bud!!!! Stay strong and big hugs and lots of love xxx

[IrishMollyO]

Dear EilyEire

Just want you to know I am thinking of you and will light a candle for you. I can empathise with you having recently been told of swollen lymph nodes . I am waiting  nervously for the next step. We  will try to stay strong and hopeful . You are the girl who has made me smile many times with a funny post just when I needed a lift. 

XXX

[EilyEire]

Thanks to you all for replying xxx

[Hidden]

its terribly hard, and it stinks.  there isnt a thing in the world to do but get on with it.

unfortunately.  sometimes i visualize it as a nasty dirty monster who i am fighting.  whack, there goes its head. whomp.  good one in the middle.  it helps. 

dont give up.  dont give in.  it should have to fight for each and everyone of us. 

[Hidden]

ps.  i am stage 4c.

[Lily-Anne]

I find not being able to see what I am dealing with very difficult. I think I'm actually a bit of a control freak. I'm trying to follow my own advice and take each day as it comes it's not easy but it's a great idea if you can do it. Worrying doesn't change anything. When you put high dose of carb for a min I thought you meant carbs so don't overdo the bread lol

LA xx