5 years (update)

In a quandary. As per my previous post, saw consultant for 5th year checkup (borderline serous) expected to be discharged, was sent for CT. which I had 2 days later.. was told if nothing was found I would get discharge letter. Received a letter a couple of days ago not discharging me but an appointment for January 😬. My question is would you tell your other halves! I would normally tell him straight away but with Christmas coming up I have kept quite as I don’t want him worrying as well over the holiday. When I was first diagnosed his fussing over me drove me nuts and although it sounds ungrateful I don’t do fussing 🥴. I know it’s my decision but would welcome your opinions. Jenny x

[Katiebairdie]

Hi, difficult one. I keep little symptoms to myself hoping they will go away, they usually do.

For your peace of mind I would share your worries and try to enjoy Xmas with no guilty conscience. Don’t they say a problem shared is a problem halved.

I wish you you a very happy Xmas .

[Hidden in reply to Katiebairdie]

Thank you Katie. Happy Christmas 🎄x

[Lyndy]

As long as it isn’t going to leave you feeling alone with any worry, I don’t see a problem with waiting. xx

[keeponkeepingon in reply to Lyndy]

The fact that you have been sent an appointment for January does not necessarily mean that something is wrong, sometimes with hospitals the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.All may be well.

[Hidden in reply to keeponkeepingon]

That’s what I keep telling myself 🥴 happy Christmas 🎄

[Hidden in reply to Lyndy]

Not overly worried, so keeping it to myself for the time being

Happy Christmas 🎄x

[Lizchips]

Personally, I would tell him in the new year

[Hidden in reply to Lizchips]

Thank you Lizchips. Have decided to do just that. Happy Christmas 🎄

[CallmeMum]

It could be that they've sent you an appointment for January to officially discharge you, if it was sinister hopefully they'd have been on the phone to give you your results, it's up to you if you tell your husband but you could always call your CNS to see if she can give you your results or if she can get your oncologist to call you with the results xxx

[Hidden in reply to CallmeMum]

Thank you Have been thinking on those lines although she did tell me they would just send a letter of discharge if my ct was clear. I don’t have a CNS. (Think it was I was borderline). Tried the consultants secretary but only get answer phone 😠 will keep trying.

Happy Christmas 🎄x

[Jacqui1737]

I wouldn't personally be able to wait for appointment. I'd ring and ask speak to someone or get your doctor to phone. All the stress of what if hanging over your head. I agree could be nothing but it's as stressful imagining the worse.

Heart hugs xx

[Hidden in reply to Jacqui1737]

Thank you Jacque. Only get answer phone when ringing 😠 (more stress lol)

Happy Christmas 🎄 x

[Jacqui1737 in reply to Hidden]

Happy christmas chick.prayers and hugs.keep us updated.xx

[Hidden]

I agree with all the above, also ring the hospital and find out what the appointment in January is for exactly, it could well be official discharging where by you have to sign papers. fingers crossed it is not a recurrence. Good Luck x

[Hidden]

Thank you Lyn. Convincing myself it an official discharge appointment 🤞🤞. Happy Christmas 🎄

[bamboo89]

Wow, nearly five years, that's brilliant. I wouldn't tell him either, not till after Christmas, so long as keeping it to yourself doesn't stress you out more. As for what the appointment's for, burning curiousity about it might be best ignored if every time you ring you can't get through to someone, because it increases stress levels. I'd assume the worst but hope for the best, but that's just me, its how I cope with life generally. Regardless, whatever the reason for the appointment, nothing's going to change between now and January, and fretting about it won't positively change the outcome nor the reason for it, so if possible, lay it to one side mentally and just get on with your life at this busy time of year.

Fingers crossed, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...

Miriam

[Hidden in reply to bamboo89]

Thank you for replying Miriam. I am thinking on the same line as you. Have given up with the phone as you say it does increase stress level.

Have a good Christmas and happy new year 🎄 x

[Nikkimcmahon]

I had a similar experience this morning, had a follow up appointment with my oncologist and my CA125 has risen slightly again to 22 (I started Niraparib in September and my CA125 was 11) to be on the safe side he will book a scan which probably won’t be until January now. I found myself coming home and telling my partner everything was fine so, as you say, not to upset or worry him over xmas🙄that’s the problem with xmas, everyone and everything has to be happy and joyous and perfect...I feel I don’t want to spoil the party😔x

Nikki

[Hidden in reply to Nikkimcmahon]

Thank you Nikki. Fingers crossed for you that your CT will good.🤞🤞 I was lucky and got mine done 2 days after my appointment , but now have to wait till mid January for my next appointment 🥴 (can’t have it both ways)

Have a good Christmas 🎄x

[Katmal-UK]

Hi Only you really know how he would react if you kept this from him. I know that my hubby would be devastated that I hadn't shared this with him given he had been there every step of the way, every scan, every appointment etc. It's a personal choice though and my first reaction would be not to tell him but ultimately know that I would be hurting him more by not saying something. Hope that all makes sense! I have to say I don't envy having to make the choice which is brought about by the time of the year. xx Kathy xx

[Hidden]

Thank you Kathy. I do feel guilty about not telling him as he has been there for me on all but 1 appointment. We’ve been married a long time (47years)

and I know once I tell him he will keep asking if I’m ok, worried, stressed..

Which is quite annoying when in that moment I am not thinking about it at all ! Wishing you and your family a good Christmas 🎄x jenny

[shortfriends]

Hi I wouldn't tell him if you can manage the stress on your own, I am sure it won't be anything too bad as they would have phoned you and hospitals are notorious for admin mix ups and not sharing information! I would though do everything I could to find out the reason I have not ben discharged formally yet.

There must be someone there?!! Maybe not! I want to know as well now! Please keep in touch and let us know. I hope it is nothing to worry about and you have a wonderful, peaceful Christmas. Will be thinking of you.

Lots of love and Hugs, Pat xxx

[Hidden in reply to shortfriends]

Thank you Pat. Wishing you a good Christmas to 🎄 x

[Mptelesca]

It's so hard and I understand your feelings on fussing. lol. Same thing happened to me in January. Went for Scan and then someone called me to set up an extra appointment just to discuss. I felt that this was it and I would end up back in chemo again. Turns out they dragged me up there just to tell me they found nothing! I was happy, but, I wish i hadn't worried myself sick.

It's hard to keep this to yourself. Best you tell your other halve just so he knows your state of mind and can maybe help ease it. I'm sure you will be fine. Enjoy Christmas and all your loved ones. Nothing you can do until January anyway. Sending you hugs and positive energy. Enjoy Christmas!!!

XOX

Marisa

[Hidden]

Thank you Marisa. Wishing you and your family a happy Christmas to 🎄 x

[Artgreen]

I tend to go for the open and honest approach so I don’t have to pretend and neither does anyone else. I find that causes more stress.

Christmas has so much expectation hanging over it which is artificial. I’d be worried that he might be hurt that you kept your worries from him.

My husband goes in for cancer surgery on Christmas Eve so we’re postponing the festivities till he’s recovered.

I think I’d get my CNS nurse to clarify so I didn’t go into imagination overdrive.

I hope it all goes well and is an admin thing

Best wishes

Alex x

[Hidden in reply to Artgreen]

Thank you for replying Alex. I hope all goes well for your husband’s op and he has a good recovery. (Have been there with my hubby 20yrs ago so know how you feel) All Best wishes for 2020 jenny x

[Artgreen in reply to Hidden]

Bless you Jenny thank you. Glad all went well for your hubby and I hope things go very well for you too xx

[Caroles1]

Hi lovely,

Saw my onc last Monday , he was really happy and happy with my weight loss, but said I haven’t had a scan for a while (5 years out) .

So thought he would say see you in a year, but said he wanted to scan me, I asked if there was anything wrong and he said no.

Thanks for that me thinks, something to worry about over Christmas.

Anyway, no point in giving anyone else anything to worry about over the festive season luv, let’s just have a few vinos and keep our worry to ourselves.

My attitude is what will be will be and worrying won’t make it any better,

Love to you

Carole xx

[Hidden in reply to Caroles1]

Thank you Carole. Sometimes Drs just don’t think do they! I’me not overly worrying at the moment, too much going on with Xmas etc, definitely like the vino idea 🍷🍷lol. Good luck with your scan. Happy Christmas 🎄x

[Petrolhead]

I am also in the wait till after Xmas group. Though saying that I am lucky that with a NHS email address I can get a copy of the scan results through the access records department at my hospital. It has been extremely useful in the past.

Best wishes

Fay

[Hidden in reply to Petrolhead]

Thank you Fay. That’s handy being able to get copies through e-mail.

Wishing you well with your appointment. Have a good Christmas 🎄

Best wishes to you too. Jenny x