Very ugly complaining: I AM NOT FAT.

[Lalalaura]

So, I saw a nurse practitioner at my GP yesterday to double check on some weird blood work I have been having: very high B12 (could be crazy bad or no big deal). And now my record says I am OBESE. I am soooo angry. Has no one ever heard of ascites????

I am already worried that I will lose access to health insurance because of a "pre-existing condition" you know, OVCA?

I know this seems petty but I don't want to miss out on care because someone has judged me and labeled me as someone who does not take care of herself. This just perpetuates the idea that we brought this on ourselves. Another in a long line of someone saying what we are, how sick we are, is just a symptom of our "lady" histrionics. The same attitude (and record keeping) that kept many of us away from a proper diagnosis because we were told we just had a little indigestion or period cramps or PMS or whatever.

I wrote back to request that this be removed from my record. I am devastated enough about how awful Arimidex makes me feel (while at the same time grateful that I am not having chemo yet).

Oh yeah, and I don't know how long I am going to live. If you could keep your ugly label away from me, I would like to enjoy these next few years/months/days.

Will my primary be proud of me for losing weight when I have chemo and am throwing my guts up?!!!

Call me beautiful now.

[Lyndy]

Hi Lalalaura

I would suggest you talk to the practice manager at the surgery, ask why they have recorded this and explain your concerns about insurance. xx

[Hidden]

I'm in the UK so things are different. (It's certainly great here not to have the worry about health insurance you have in the US). I too have very high B12 and it seems to be pretty long-standing with no obvious reason and no-one seems worried by it. But there may be circumstances where it is more of a worry.

Here there are quite clear protocols about weight definitions. It's based on body mass index for gender and age with various bands around it, it's evidence based, not judgemental or labelling. That's often the problem, I find, with being told something I don't like: it feels judgemental even if it's not!

Having watched a TV programme last night about the link between diabetes and obesity, I'm all in favour of medical staff being upfront and blunt.

It sounds as if your nurse practioner's communication and explanation skills could certainly do with a bit of improvement, so patients don't go away feeling hurt and angry.

If she was advising you to lose a bit of weight, that can be done quite nicely. I lost weight after my first cancer diagnosis and I must say I do feel better and more able to cope with the treatments. And I've had 5 lots of chemo and have never thrown my guts up, so don't assume you will. Chemo gets a bad press based on how it used to be 40 or 50 years ago.

It's just all a bit overwhelming when it's another thing to get your head round on top of worries about the future, horrible treatments and feeling it took you a long time to get a diagnosis, isn't it?

Stay strong!

[ScardyCat40 in reply to Hidden]

I think LalaLaura is saying she is overweight because of ascites?

[tara108]

That is so outrageous I am nearly speechless! On top of everything else you have to deal with this! Is there anyone you can make a complaint to or someone to support and advocate for you. It's not petty at all. I am so sorry to hear this has happened for you. Sending big hugs from Australia

[Ericksov]

Hello Lalalaura

As a former nurse practitioner I think it is likely that the computer based on weight and height alone “labeled” you as over weight. It’s just programming and I do think you should talk to the np about it. I was over weight before my first chemo and now am not- not because I puked but because I lost my appetite Now I find I can eat with abandon and not gain weight. There are some Benifits. Wish you well Victoria

[Lalalaura]

Thanks, everyone, I am so much happier now that I know that the B12 is not a concern according to my hematologist. So, looking at my weight gain is easier when I am less frightened. I think it is sometimes a go-to worry for me when I have great anxiety (also, I eat more). I am always concerned that it could be ascites, and it very well could be. Also, Arimidex causes weight gain in some and paired with hot flashes I am sometimes a real b-word.

Today I feel good and I will ride that wave while it lasts. Feeling good/happy is a luxury I can't afford to waste on worrying about my fat. I will save that for a day when I already feel crappy.

Huggles to you all for your kind words and encouragement. It means the world.