I had my consultation with the surgeon thats going to be doing my operation on 12th March. I had 3 cycles of taxol carbo that didnt shrink anything but he is happy to do the op now and then Im being referred to the Marsden after for different chemo (after they have looked at a bigger chunk under the microscope). I look for the positives when I come out of these meetings with the oncs/consultants and surgeons and Im trying to do that today. he said to me yesterday that he wont be able to get all of the cancer because some of it is behind my liver and hard to get to. hes going to do debulking and omentum removal and basically he said get as much as he can and until he goes in he wont know what he needs to do, so prepared me for poss bowel surgery etc. He said the aim is to get me to remission and 'keep it at bay' but what scares me is the fact that I feel they are telling me that it wont be got rid of at all, yet he said hes happy to do the surgery and that they dont 'waste' surgery hours if they dont think its beneficial. My OC is slow growing yet spread is extensive, so the voices in my head are telling me that Im not going to be free of this disease, yet he did say the aim is to get me to remission.
Im well and healthy, pain free and carry on with my life as best I can as a single mum with 2 kids yet when the fear creeps in its too much for me to let my brain face the unthinkable.
I guess today is the 'sinking in' of the appt yesterday and its always a lot to take in esp knowing I have my surgery in 3 weeks time and its very scary. I know tomorrow I will be ok and I havent had a dark day for ages and I really dont like it
Is there anyone that has had OC that has gone near the liver (they have just said its behind it and sitting on it, not that its necessarily 'attached' to it. I guess Im just looking for some reassurance because I feel a bit freaked at the moment. Thanks, K x