Ovca

[SarahKaj]

Anyone here was young when diagnosed ? Im 29 , single nd no kids.. nd apparently will be removing my uterus and ovaries in my coming surgery.. i cant really deal with the idea of being infertile later on... How did u guys deal with it ? Trying to freeze my eggs, but theyre not mature yet to be pulled out.. so this is another issue..

[Lyndy]

Hi Sarah

I can't offer direct experience but can I suggest you ring the Ovacome helpline on Monday? It is nurse led and they are reassuring and can help you with specifics.

Don't forget that you can ask for a second opinion and you can ask for them to go over the treatment plan again and again until you have all the detail. Before any op they must ask for your consent so don't be afraid to ask if there are alternatives or work rounds.

Oh and by the by they will also inform you of every side effect and bad outcome...but they have to do that...don't freak out!

Lxx

[kristinaapril]

Hi Sarah,

I want to preface this with, I do not have ovarian cancer. I am on this site due to my mother having ovarian cancer, so my experience with my own infertility is a genetic anomaly.

I found out I was "most likely" infertile whenever I was 16 (24 now). It was rather heartbreaking on its own, but the tricks it played on my psyche was probably worse. I remember this long-term, distinct feeling of failure; as I somehow failed as a women because I could not bare kids. I won't lie; some days I still feel as if I am a failure; though those days are few and very far between. I'm not really sure what made me come to terms with my situation, time? maturity? probably a bit of both.

Like I said, I am currently 24; and more of my friends are starting their own families now. And while I am extremely happy for them, I definitely feel envy and jealousy. Thankfully, I have a very supported partner, who knows about my infertility, and is ready to go through adoption or surrogate process, when the time comes (which won't be for a while).

As Lyndy posted, I'm sure Ovacome may be able to provide with you with more information. Also, depending on where you live, there may be an infertility support group. I never went to one myself; but a coworker of mine does attend a monthly meeting and finds it helpful!

Kris x.

[Nicky100]

Hi Sarah,

I am so sorry to read that you are in this position. I get it. Completely. I was not as young as you, a bit older, but faced and still face that tough road we have been dealt. For me, it has become almost harder than the cancer ( although people find that strange). It’s about your future. The things you dreamed of.

Firstly, it is a good suggestion above to get a second opinion above if you have time, before you have any surgery. It might affirm or change your feelings in some way.

Tips on coping with it? That is hard. I think it depends if you have family around you or a house full of loving people. I tended to find it helped to stay away from those that had babies and still do to a degree, although this is not my advice persay, it was how I got through it. After the worst days we’re over, I tried to throw myself into things I loved doing, meditation helped, and my animals. They became my source of comfort.

And then there is keeping your hope alive for adoption. This is what ultimately kept me afloat. You can still be a family but it might just look a bit different. You can still recreate similar feelings and you have a lovely partner. Focus on each day. Focus on your hope.

Try and picture yourself years from now, and hold on to that picture. Hope is the most important thing we have. Also speak to your surgeon and voice your worries. Make sure they know you want a family. It is important that they know. Sometimes they are men and they do not feel the same way! Be strong with your wishes.

PM me if you have any questions and I can try and help you. It’s very tough. But you can do it.

Nicky xx

[CJR99]

Hi there,

Just wanted to extend a warm welcome and let you know I’m thinking of you.Though I was early stage, I totally empathise and support Nicky’s comment.... coming to terms with never being a mum has been the hardest journey I’ve faced.However,it does get easier I promise especially when you realise we all have an important part to play in this big old world,I promise!Please surround yourself with the people that matter,the people that really adore you for you.I will be thinking of you and please keep posting...if it hadn’t been for all the wonderful people on this site I wouldn’t be doing as well as I am.

Take care,Clare xx

[Sunfleury-UK]

Its a brutal double whammy.... there are some good personal stories / blogs of women who have faced similar to you on the Target Ovarian Cancer website & theres a great guide for younger women that youll find there too (& also on Ovacome, Eve Appeal & Ovarian Cancer Action's websites). The guide for younger women has a section on this & useful links....

Some surgeons depending on the specific nature of the ovca may offer fertility sparing surgery and in the UK, most teams will have a specialust link to fertility experts to discuss options.

Thinking of you Sx