First 3 monthly check not quite what I hoped for!

[triplets]

Hi ladies, just to let you know that after all my nerves about my first 3 monthly check yesterday didn't quite go as I hoped. All was going well until I told him about the new diagnosis of lymphedema in my leg. He asked me how long it had been going on etc and then examined me inside and out. He said everything felt fine and I was not to worry but as a precaution he wants me to have an mri. He said there is a slight risk the lymphedema may be linked to recurring disease, I really did not want to hear that..........panic buttons. He said he wasn't worried and his outlook for me remained the same, very good. He also gave me the name of a therapist who specializes in lymphatic massage, and guess what.........she lives 10 mins walk from me!! I have spoken to her tonight and was really hoping she might say it might not be as bad as I am thinking, but basically she told me I will have to wear a support stocking on that leg for the rest of my life. My mind was racing ahead tonight as to how the hell will I get it on and off when I am an old lady, its going to be bad enough now! Its pathetic really but it has really got me down how much it will change my life. Me who used to be able to be on my feet all day, walk for miles, me who had lovely legs (vain creature) well I did, very long legs, the thought of wearing trousers more or less permanently no more to go barefoot out in the garden because of the high risk of cellulitis........am I feeling sorry for myself? Yes I am tonight, and worried and fed up and tired...........goodnight my lovely ladies hope you can sleep well, xx

[Yoshbosh]

Hi Triplets, sorry to hear it didn't quite go to plan...but try not to panic - at least your doctor is being thorough in getting you checked out. I know that's easier said than done, though.

Yosh x

[Choski]

We've already spoken but I wanted to say that it's quite understandable to think of your legs - you're not vain at all. To you they are part of what makes you YOU.

a friend of mine did get cellulitis- not from OC or lymph node removal as I recall, it was a real shock to her and she was helped tremendously. She carried on with wearing dresses too.

We also hear the worst case scenarios when we talk with medical profession, I suppose they have to tell us!

My mum wore support stocking that looked like normal ones - not the heavy material we immediately picture.

I am glad the therapist lives near you and hope you can meet soon and have a better reality.

Thinking of you

Clare xx

[triplets in reply to Choski]

Thank you dearest Clare.......just feeling sorry for myself, its strange because I didnt feel like this about my cancer diagnosis. Its almost like the straw that broke the camels back! And it is NOTHING compared to what you have and are going through. Its a beautiful morning here an my only plan for today is to go for a blood test, two nurses tried on Tues and couldn't get a drop! Hate having them done. This is going to sound so selfish too but I feel so let down by friends, in the beginning of all this they were calling to see me, took me out for lunch etc. Now I haven't seen most of them since before I started my chemo last Oct. It was the same when my son died, in less than a year they all drifted back to their own lives. I just feel I don't have any fun anymore, my husbands health is not good, I see a big deterioration with his Parkinsons and feel very sorry for him. My trio keep me going though even though its hard work at my age with three 19 year olds, but I love them to bits. Ok, need to stop wallowing and get up and go water my garden before it gets too hot! Much love to you. xx

[maz54 in reply to triplets]

Hi Triplets and just wanted to say how myself and so many other ladies here have had similar things happen with so called friends!

Someone I've known for nearly 30 years told me recently how selfish I was for telling her 2 years ago that I was having to go back into treatment - I RUINED HER BIRTHDAY! !! Upset me mightily for a long while but needless to say she's an ex person now in my life and I feel better for it! !!

You'll find your mojo again - just try to not focus on the what ifs - we all do it of course - I'm the world's worst! We're all here to listen to each other 💕💕💕

Love Maz xxx

[yewbarrow]

So sorry to read this but glad they're being thorough and doing the MRI. Fingers crossed you get the best possible outcome. Take care xxx

[triplets]

Thanks Maz and Yewbarrow, I just keep telling myself that HE said he wasn't worried about me.............doesn't stop the gut churning in my stomach though. x