surgary didnt work..

[Veronica08]

it seem im gonna be wering the colostomy bag for the rest of my life. this is so depesing.. laying in the hospital, wonder why i just wish they could have removed it. i know i shouldn't dwell on the bad but sometimes it just need to let it out. ben looking for support groups where i live so imma going to conseling when i get out of the hospital. it's so overwhelming i cant do this with talking to someone

[lorraine71-Australia]

Hi Veronica, Sorry to hear that they did not take the bag out but have you been told why. AS for you dwelling on the bad stuff, your are only human we all have are moments one moment I've got myself so upset about drying next I going to be alright next I'm back to drying again, but you know where to come when you need encouragement right here with all the ladies who know what you are going through. I hope you find a good support group near home that you can talk to. Sending you my best wishes from down under Lorraine xx😎

[Tesla_7US]

Dear, Dear girl. You've come to the right place. We all need someone to talk to. It helps to externalize our fears and concerns so we can adapt to our circumstances.

I would jump in my car and drive over and hug you if I lived in UK. Did your doc give you reasons for not reversing your colostomy? Can you get a second opinion? Meanwhile, this is very, very tough and disappointing news. I am hoping a different doctor with fresh eyes might see options for you. Meanwhile, are you in pain? Is there any local face to face emotional support available to you? Please know that you can always come here to these remarkable women who will listen and encourage you as you continue your treatment. A warm, gentle virtual hug to you. Tesla

[Purple-iris]

So sorry you have had to go through this surgery and be told this news . It is still a shock at present and you will need time to adjust but Please make sure you ask for help and counselling .

Ask your team to explain fully and then you can decide if you want a second opinion .

Am sure there are other ladies on here who have gone through the same and can offer hope and support and hope you find a local support group . What area are you ? Love Kim X

[January-2016-UK]

Hello Veronica, I hope you have been told why the colostomy bag couldn't be reversed, if you have and don't fully understand, ask for it to be explained again. As has been suggested here, you can always ask for a second opinion.

I see from your profile you live in the US and I expect there are a number of support groups available to you. You are still young and with some counselling you will probably bounce back.

All the best!

[LesleyGreengran]

We all have low moments, well a lot longer than moments often. I hope you find a good counsellor x

[Lily-Anne]

The colostomy association has a great support group on Facebook, and their magazine is quite good too. I hated my 'temporary' colostomy, and although it is quite depressing, I've got used to it, the only time it bugs me is if we are going out having to wear something to hide the outline, especially now I have a hernia behind it.

Mine won't be reversed now because I've a doom and gloom recurrence and there are some little nodules in the bowel. However we are still alive and the best advice I was given by a friend of mine, was live each day as if it is your last and plan your life to live forever.

Chin up, we're here to help you

LA xx

[Hidden]

what sort of doctor doesn't explain what they do and WHY they do it to the patient?

I'm very very grumpy and stubborn patient if I get fishy doctors or rubbish nurses.

I need answers and don't tolerate time wasters. honestly, I'm not proud of some of the moments in the hospitals but I shall always demand what I need if I don't get it by asking nicely.

[Veronica08]

Thanks everyone I'm so sad.yes I'm alive and so very proud to make it this far.and now I gotta get used to the idea of wearing this for my life ànd I have looked for group I. My areà. Can Nora find one unless it 1-2 hours away and I don't drive.

[Spencer2016 in reply to Veronica08]

Veronica- I am so sorry you are enduring such a hard time. I hope it gets a little easier with time and healing. I've found that many psychologists will have appointments virtually if your computer has a camera. Given this is so new for you, perhaps starting with a few appointments to help you get your barings and some support coping. Don't take on more than necessary too fast but a therapist specializing in oncology will be a very helpful starting place and can help you now and then help you get a plan in place. Online therapy is a blessing! When you are feeling low, please try to remember those feelings are not permanent. Sending you lots of prayers and love.

Best, Anne 🌺🌸🌼

[Hidden]

Hi Veronica sorry you are on a downer at the moment. Is there any support network you can access in US. Maybe try the American Cancer Sociey they might be able to direct you to someone to talk to. Sorry you have to stick with the stoma. But you have been through a lot and dont be hard on yourself. I hope there are family who can help you out through this dark time and there will be light at the end of the tunnel

[Neona]

I have a supposedly temporary iliostomy but noone will discuss the possibility of reversal while I am on chemo. I wasn't expecting a stoma so it was a shock when I woke up from surgery and had also lost my spleen. I thought temporary meant just a few days-didn't realise it would be months or years. Meanwhile I have started to get used to it and am now frightened of reversal. While on chemo it does save me from the awful constipation that many people have reported. I joined the local ostomy group but it is too far to travel while I feel so poorly. Although changing the bag is a nuiscance I can also see some advantages in having some control over when you need to go to the loo!