A curious question....

[CallmeMum]

My special person's sister keeps saying to her 'you need to be more positive' 'you need to laugh more' 'you're CA125 went down because you were happy' (you all get the point) also she says 'I have a friend of a friend of a friend who survived cancer because she did' whatever she said I can't remember. I'm just curious how many other ladies have friends of friends of friends who survived cancer because of some miracle that actually turned out to be a load of BS! ❤️

[Nicky100]

We are all very different and the part of cancer where you have to deal with other people's opinions and manage these can be very challenging! Just try and visualise they want to help and say thank you, but if they keep insisting maybe be open and honest and explain they you have professional help and you follow their advice? I have this all the time and ai understand how maddening it gets.

Positivity he,ps yes but it is also wholly unrealistic to feel like that every day when you both dealing with a traumatic experience,

. My advice is that while you are in a tender phase, shelter yourself a little from others and their comments.

Let me know how it goes,

Love Nicky xx

[RueG in reply to Nicky100]

Well said Nicky! I found dealing with other people (who meant well) very difficult. I still find it infuriating when people say 'you'll be fine' ....

[Spencer2016]

I believe those friends are looking for the happy and positive because it makes it easier on them. I would be dead now if my feelings and attitude had any effect. I've been anything but joyful or positive. Just told I am in remission. I believe you should feel what you feel and let the pain, sadness and fear out. I tend to avoid those that expect me to fake a big grin.

[charlie12]

Without being too simplistic , anybody who lives with a dog knows how positive they are, how they live in the moment , love everybody and everything and forget anything unpleasant the minute a treat appears. Yet dogs get cancer and so so small children who are also extremely positive.

With ovarian cancer there are the hormonal issues (fertility for some) , the size of the surgery etc etc. Being positive all the time is not realistic and if low mood proving to be getting in the way of making progress it can be treated.

But to say that CA 125 is affected by mood is simply not correct.

Hugs to you both xxx

[Cropcrop]

Much easier said than done, I've always been really positive, I'm just lucky that is how I am but in no way do I believe this affected my CA125. It is easier for others if you seem to be upbeat all the time as it makes their life easier but it doesn't make ours easier at all. Some of the advice I was given, by people who had absolutely no idea what I was dealing with, made me so very cross, they may have been well meaning but some of the advice came from total ignorance. I got really good at smiling and saying thank you. So long as you are there for her, your special person will be given the support she needs. Keep well both of you ❤️Xx Jane

[Lyndy]

Love your post...there's a lot of this kind of thing about. I made a decision early on to be neither positive nor negative...but that works for me I wouldn't try to tell anyone else how to do their OC journey. It's often friends and family who feel they need to 'do something ' ! xx

[LesleyGreengran]

I was feeling very upbeat when I had my recurrence. I don't think my mood stopped the cancer or lowered the CA 125. It did make it easier to face going back on chemo. I expect we all have people like that in our lives. Luckily mine are not so close as a sister but if she was like that I would have to have a quiet word. But we all handle things differently and it may be easier for you both to smile and nod and ignore her.

[monalbaki]

I get these comments all the time. What really annoys me is when people change the tone of their voice when speaking to me as if I was a toddler. It also infuriates me when people say that they're unable to fathom what to say to me. It makes me feel like I'm being in a psychological quarantine. I keep telling them that I'm the very same person and that they should treat me as they've always done. Social events always backfire because of the stupidity of people and their ignorance as to how to deal with us.

[85live4ever]

Hi Callmemum, well that's made me laugh the bit at the end ( a load of BS ) Yes, you so right the word postive makes me cringe. I will be the first person to put my hand up & say I am the most negative person you will ever meet but I am also realistic & take all the evidence & try to work at if this is possible or like you said BS.

I do know of 2 people that are in remission from cancers that should of seen their demise by now. They are very lucky but haven't done anything weird or special to of survived it. They both like us want to live why some people do & some don't is a mystery to me.

I do worry about these so called miracles cures that cost a lot of money but don't always work & the only one laughing is the person laughting all the way to the bank. Thanks for laugh take care Cindyxx