Hi fellow travellers
I have not posted for a while as I have had a "slight" setback and did not feel I wanted to be yet again a moaning Minnie. Anyway over the last month I had been feeling very very depressed, no appetite and generally very low . I saw my oncologist and for the first time ever she saw me as not positive very tearful and completely beaten. She has always said how well I looked and here was sitting with her and the trial nurse in tears , giving up in pain etc etc. Not me at all as I have always felt positive that we would find a way of not curing but sensibly living with the disease.
Anyway , she gave me some morphine long lasting and I went home prior to next dose of chemo.Next day I woke up and was sick. First time ever. I dutifully rang my dedicated nurse who said "ring your GP" I rang explained how I was and she said" ring 999"
Sick in ambulance scared etc.
My veins are awful so I have a long term picc line which is used all the time. However A&E did not use so I then had the ordeal of them trying to find a vein for a blood test and so on . Hardly any luck , loads of attempts and finally they got some blood.
Doc decided I had an "infection" and sepsis feared. Taken in as in patient and test galore and drips galore .Finally after two days found an antibiotic which worked. Pumped in three hourly stints into my PICC line day and night. The nursing staff were lovely and I spent most of time in tears . I was worried about my husband who is 81 and could not drive in to see me as too nervous of driving so all on his own . And so very lonely with no visitors at all just nurses.
finally infection and temperature started to come down. Blood pressure going up and up so worried about home and husband alone. . oncology doc says if they can get my temperature level I can be sent home with oral antibiotics. One of the nurses encouraged me to remember the faith I enjoyed as a child and stayed with me and said a little prayer to help me heal and deal with the misery. We have just moved house so have no local friends and family have lots of young children thus not allowed in hospital ( or live too far away)
Next day I told my friendly day nurse I wanted to see the doc and go home at once. Doc finally agreed so sent home via hospital transport. Relief but felt so terribly weak I am pretty helpless.
They gave me letter stating I had had sepsis because my PICC line had been infected and of course with chemotherapy, ones body has no fight of its own. New line finally inserted and old one binned , So finally made Easter Sunday at home. Have oral antibiotics to complete course .
The power of prayer pulled me though and so I thank God and all the wonderful medical staff for all the help they gave me. I feel very washed up but am ready to start the chemo fight all over again when I get the strength to drive the 100 or so miles I have to get to Addenbrooks for my on going treatment.
My faith is renewed and I can face the next onslaught of treatment. To all of you fighting this awful disease, I hope you enjoyed Easter, keep positive and trust in God to help when all seems lost. I am not a regular practising Christian - Christmas and Easter is me - but truly He helped this awful last few days and I know you all will get strength to carry on wth the fight. I know there are sometimes miracles lets hope that all of you reading and myself are some of the successes.
God bless and much love to you all. Irene x