The good, the bad and the ugly

The good - A&E found the recurrence not shown on CT scan or MRI. The bad back on chemo carbo/taxol feeling yucky. The ugly me with no hair and a grey face so decided to cheer myself up with a new head cover and purchased 2 on line lacy and comfy looking.

Shock when looked in mirror and wondered why I was walking around with what looks like a pair of fancy briefs in my head??

Seasons greetings to you all

Love and hugs Maureen

30 Replies

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  • Hello Mopsie, I see you have kept your sence of humor through all this. The carbo/taxol is is hard on the body but you will get through this. I got 3 turbans online and I looked like the attending doctor as he had a turban too...lol. Take care of yourself, spoil yourself..

    Hugs and best wishes

    Damelza

  • I shouldn't giggle but picturing you and your doctor I couldn't help it 😀😀😀

  • Damelza that is just hilarious, ye should have swopped for size haha

  • Thank you for your good wishes

    Maureen

  • Awwww bless you... awful to be back on chemo it does make you feel grey... I have thought if all sorts to make me look and feel less grey .... baubles on my ears was a favourite 😃.... you could start a trend 🎉

  • Good idea plenty of choice just now!

  • Hi Maureen, A couple of questions if you don't mind.....how long after your CT did A&E find your recurrence and how did they find it?

    I love the vision of you catching sight of yourself in the mirror and suddenly seeing something different than you expected. When I first lost my hair I bought lots of beautiful coloured headscarves and tied them - thought I looked ok but later I realised I looked like an 18th century peasant potato farmer.......

    I hope you do manage to feel attractive and find something that you are very happy with. It's important isn't it for our own self esteem? I found a combat cap (plain khaki colour) and luckily it suited my face - I wore it all the time when outside - I pinned a little numbered badge on the side to reflect which chemo session I'd reached X

    Happy Christmas

    Clare xx

  • Hi

    Unsettled bowel in May scan on 7th June. Scan clear. Severe abdominal pain in August so another scan and MRI suggested should that be clear. Scan was clear so MRI on 12th September. MRI clear. Several trips to GP diagnosed with urine infections and then diverticulitis. two lots of antibiotics. Nothing worked. Referred to urologist but appointment not until January 2017. Rang oncology and they said not an oncology issue as scans and MRI clear. Struggled on then in the end went to A&E beginning of November given a CT scan and there it was all over outside of bowel and on lower abdomen.

    Everyone jumps when I ring now!!

    Love Maureen

  • Oh my goodness, so glad you persevered however that is quite scary isn't it that so many tests can be clear.

    Xxx

  • Yes very scary and I felt that no one was listening to me when I told them about the pain. I have lost faith in the GP surgery. My lovely doctor has gone to another surgery and we are out of his catchment area. A lovely lady doctor is there but only 2 mornings so too bad if you are not well on those days. She was shocked when I told her what had happened and said the fact that I had to go to A&E showed how bad I felt.

    Anyway on we go and hope for a good result after this chemo.

    Maureen xx

  • I wanted to get through this proudly with no hair, big earrings and bright red lipstick - should have been ill in the summer - I had no idea how cold my head would get! Ringing the changes with scarves and a pretty good wig has worked for me - I like a choice! I also love the idea of recording the number of treatments you've had Clare!

    All the women I have met going through chemo seem to develop an inner grace - no, we don't want to look different, but ugly - never. Brave, resilient, courageous and bloody determined is what I see in my new friends.

    Hope everyone here has a great holiday, however you celebrate! Ali X

  • Ooh I like that phrase... Develop an inner grace ...resilient...

    You are SO right

    Xx

  • Digging out all the make up and lippy.

    Maureen

  • Hi Maureen, sorry to learn you are going through this again. Have you tried wearin a scarf? There are somne e cellent tutoriazls on you tube for tying them. Go for a rectangular scarf, not silky.

    I completed 2nd line chemo in August. I found I was more tired but that might just have been me. Have a good Christmas. Ann xo

  • No I too am extra tired but I was warned this would be the case.

    Not tried scarfs yet but good idea for Christmas pressies.

    Maureen xx

  • Hi Mopsie,

    Isn't humour important during all this? So glad you still have your sense of humour there.

    it is good they have found the recurrence and whilst the chemo is rubbish it really isn't bad, it saves us and you are most certainly not ugly, you are a brave, strong, courageous and beautiful lady. I too felt rubbish on the carbo/taxol regime but I slapped the make up on, popped on my wig and faced the world. We are hypercritical on ourselves and how we look aren't we?

    Love the fancy pants on the head analogy, maybe there's a marketing idea there? Duel purpose clothing 😊?

    Hope you have a lovely Christmas, let everybody around you spoil you rotten and good luck with your treatment. Take lots of care,s ending big hugs and lots of festive love ❤️Xx🎄 Jane

  • Thanks for replying. Digging out the slap this afternoon.

    Maureen xx

  • I love your attitude and sense of humour - well done Mopsie. I too remember buying hats online then trying them on and wishing I hadn't! It's not great to be back on the chemo regime again but with your spirit, you'll pull through! I wish you all the very best for Christmas.

    Caroline x

  • Thank you

    Maureen xx

  • Hi your post made me laugh we the comment about briefs on your head .

    I've just been told I've got a recurrence after 12 weeks Ned . Hair not grown back .so I went on line and treated myself to 3 long tie scarfs from Anna Banda . Everyone has said how lovely they are . Might be worth looking at web site ? .

    Good luck in future . Hope treatment ok . I'm restating in Caelyx tomorrow . Ug ! Xx

  • Sorry to hear you are back on the chemo train, wishing you well for chemo tomorrow and I hope you do manage to enjoy Christmas xxx

  • Sorry you are back on chemo. I will look at the website thank you.

    Maureen xx

  • So sorry you're back on the chemo so soon, hope it's not too arduous but they are obviously monitoring you really well to have started you back. Good luck with this. Enjoy your new scarves. Have a good Christmas and a hopefully better 2017 ❤️Xx🎄 Jane

  • Fantastic Sence of humour, you will get through this again I bet you look very sexy with your lace scarf on. Look after yourself during treatment, rest when you body tells you it needs to.

    We are all holding your hand.

    Virtual hugs Ellsey xx

  • Thank you hand holding always welcome.

    Maureen xx

  • Well we needed that

  • You really are a great lady,with a very good sense of humour,so well done. This is my one dread of recurrence that I will have to have chemo again. Try to keep smiling & you will get through this. I hope that you have a lovely Christmas & a much better 2017. Caledaxxx

  • Yes I was dreading this happening and as family are here from OZ for Christmas I am sad to be on chemo now. Next dose 30th December so hopefully a reasonable day.

    Maureen xx

  • Dear Maureen

    The Carbo.Taxol combination is the gold standard and also for recurrence when you have a long NED. I have just completed Carbo only but was disappointed I wasn't offered the combination as I reacted well first time round. Even though it is tough and you are losing your hair again keep telling yourself that you are getting the best. Your hair will grow back and it will all be worthwhile . You made us all smile with your graphic description of your new headgear . I hope the treatment doesn't interfere with your enjoyment of Christmas . Have a lovely one

  • Maureen....I'm so sorry to hear of your recurrence. I just know your sense of humor and resilience will get you through. I hope you enjoy Christmas and I'm praying for a better 2017 for you.

    Thinking of you......JudyV

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