This is a poem I wrote in the wee small hours of the morning.
Sitting all alone,while others are asleep
With nothing to keep me company but,my thoughts which are so deep.
The pain reminds me I am up,and no sleep for me tonight,
I try to keep the cancer out with my strength and all my might.
I was never given those words before so,I wasn't sure how to react,
Your Ovarian advanced stage four Mrs H ,so,now you'll deal with that!
So I looked into the mirror,which was placed upon the wall.
I looked with eyes which were confused as,I couldn't see cancer at all.
My colour hadn't changed,my smile was still intact,nope,there was no sign of cancer there and that's an honest fact.
But down the road and some time later,the chemo did kick in.
I lost my hair,gained some weight and felt no longer feminine.
Though there were people were saying,"Mrs H isn't ill at all,she is pulling a fast one and we don't like that at all"!
I don't look ill,I am not very thin,I still laugh and chat and dance,
I have even been seen strolling ,holding my husbands hand..
I had twelve sessions of chemo and,twelve sessions of maintenance too but,the cancer keeps on coming back,so what's a girl to do??!!
So ,now I have a wheelchair,for if I tire while out walking,
will that make people happy,to see the cancers showing?!
I feel sad,defeated and broken on days I let cancer in,
But then I try to push it out and start my day again.
It's a story of many others,and, some they live with fear,
so just because we look so well,doesn't mean we don't shed a tear.
My cancer,My story,it's as individual as me,and what I choose to do with it
Should be plain for all to see.!