Still fighting !!

Hi I haven't posted for a while but do read all the posts.Im in need of advice I have had in total 60 doses of chemo over 71\2 yrs and I cant have any more.The last chemo I was Etopside oral.I was admitted to hospital in December with sepsis and almost lost my life.Due to medical aid politics here in South Africa we were no longer allowed to see my original oncologist and had to change Drs.My new Dr has given me Tamoxifen she says it does work in stabilising o/c in about50% of women.I have a lot of mets to lungs and abdomen.I was asked if I want to stop treatment by my previous oncologist and I suppose lie down and die so I said no I want to carry on.

I lost about 21kg in weight which weakened me terribly.A funny thing happened I recovered and am eating well and fairly active.My CA125 was180 but in 3weeks ( without any treatment) it dropped to 36! Im very frightened of the outcome of this cancer as a nurse told me I was dying. That was before Christmas so now the seed of doubt is in my mind and I cant stop thinking about it 24hrs a day.Im sorry to be so morbid but can anyone explain the CA125 drop to me and has anyone been in my situation? Love and healing hugs to you all xx

18 Replies

  • Hi Lynn,

    Can't explain the drop in CA level,but am shocked at the attitude of your nurse,that is not necessarily the case and you sound like you are well in yourself.

    If it were me,I would live every day to the max and prove her wrong,there is no point in sitting worrying about dying when you are well and able to enjoy life.

    To quote the words in the film Shawshank redemption (a film I was watching in my worst hours in hospital) "get busy living,or get busy dying"

    If you keep worrying,you will ruin all the good times you may have in the future. Have you been to councelling, or support group it may help having someone to talk to,

    All the best,

    Carole xx

  • Hi Carol,

    Thanks for reply,I haven't had counseling or been to a support group as there are none in my area. You are right live each day as it comes I should do that but then that black cloud of "what ifs" comes over me.Its nice to talk to the girls on here though there are some wonderful healing messages Love Lynn x

  • The ladies are lovely.We are all in the same boat,

    Take care xx

  • Lynn, it sounds like you have a lot of fight in you. I agree with Carole- prove that nurse wrong! And whatever you can do to help keep your mind positive can only help you. I know its not easy- I am working on it myself. But we must keep trying so we don't waste the time we do have. 🌸🌼🌺

  • Hi Spencer,thanks for the support I really need it xx

  • Keep us posted Lynn! I'm keeping my eye out for your updates and will keep you in my prayers as well. 🙏🏻💗🦋

  • Thank you so much xx

  • Gosh your Nurse really knows how to make a person upset that is for sure. I imagine you are still on the Tamoxen and less stressed so this could be good for your body, it might have kicked started your immune system. The next time you go in for bloods avoid this nurse for heavens sake. You have done very well and perhaps you should think of seeking a second opinion now that you are doing well

  • Hi there,thanks for the encouragement it is scarey but Im going to fight the beast xx

  • I have have OC for 11 years three chemos and one rt and on a break at the minute have check up in a few weeks. I think its either fight or flight and I like you chose fight every time.

  • Wow well done it is a fight or flight and I want to fight !!

  • Hi Lynnrsa.

    I like the idea of a second opinion if possible, I have been on chemo now for 3 years this one is my 4th line treatment.

    When I was diagnosed in the hospital I was told it was inoperable and my daughters were told I would not live the year out.

    You have fought the the good fight for 7 1/2 years so keep up the fight.

    What rubbish the nurse or any one else DOES NOT has the rights to say when you will live or die we all are unique Beautiful ladies.

    As for the 125 going down this can only be a good thing, as Suxski said less stress could have kick started your immune system our own immune system can be a powerful thing,

    Also it's only human to worry about the outcome I fight it all the time what if, what if, I look back and I've been sayingwhat if for 3 years.

    Try to cheer up sending you all my best wish please keep in touch with us.

    Lorraine xx

  • Hi Lorraine,thanks for your encouraging reply.Youve fought a great battle I will stay in touch I go back on 29th Lynn xx

  • Lynnrsa, Don't let ANYONE tell you the game is over. I was dying when diagnosed. I was also told it was inoperable. Thank god I was referred to an experienced, compassionate oncological surgeon who told me he was certain he could help me. That was 17 months, 2 radical surgeries, 34 weeks of chemo and now 7 months NED ago! I am feeling so wonderful it kind of freaks me out. Your CA is down, your body is telling you to KEEP LIVING! Get a second opinion. Change doctors to find one who isn't burned out! Hugs to you. Tesla

  • Hi Tesla,thanks for your reply.I am with a new oncologist who is very considerate indeed.You are truly a spirited fighter well done Lynn xx

  • Hi Lynn

    I am from SA as well but have lived in Scotland for 34years now.

    I was diagnosed and treated 7years ago so hang in there.

    The drop in your Ca125 can surely only be a good thing.

    Take care x

  • Hi there thank you for your support.I wish I was back in Wales home sweet home.I live in Witbank where were you from? Regards Lynn x

  • Howick!!!!!

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