Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - sharing what has worked for me.

[Flamingobeef18]

I first began seeing my Clinical Psychologist 6 months after my OC diagnosis in March 2014. Her on going help has been so important to me and my family. I am convinced I would be in such a bad place now without this treatment.

I posted on another thread some of the things I had learnt and some members expressed an interest. Therefore I thought I would start a new post to share some of what has worked for me and I hope other people will share their experience of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

A big part of my own emotional struggle with this crap disease has been my guilt about being unable to do what I had previously and about the effect my illness had on loved ones. When I been feeling unwell these are the demons that haunt me and make me feel even worse.

Her cognitive behavioural therapy take on this is that far from doing nothing I have been through no fault of my own forced to take on a new full time job. My new job is managing my health. I have not chosen to do this and the cancer is not "mine" or part of me. Therefore I have nothing to feel guilty about.

This new job includes protecting my mental health in many ways including by refusing to own this guilt. Not only is this important to me but also my loved ones. Also for me managing fatigue is very important. If I get tired I get low so I must try to balance rest and activity, pace myself and prioritise so I do not do anything that is unnecessary. Every day I should aim to have rest, some activity, do something constructive, something creative, something for someone else and also something pleasurable.

She also tells me to appreciate those who look after me but to recognise that they have chosen to care. They want to help and to refuse their help, for whatever reason, is hurtful to them.

Now I certainly do not always stick to these rules but I find it a life saver to have them there. During rough times they slip and I find myself overwhelmed by it all but they give me a framework to come back to and help me keep my head above water.

If you are able to be referred to a Clinical Psychologist grab the chance with both hands. Mine has been too wonderful to put into words. (Thank you Heidi.)

[Jackie0]

Wow, what a great post! Could have been me writing. The feelings you describe are identical to mine.

The physiological effects if this cancer are sometimes very hard to bare, the overwhelming ongoing thoughts in my head about terminal cancer are constantly with me,whatever and wherever I am Sometimes, when I am really happy, I am shaken by the cancer demons in my head telling me I don't have long.

When I asked my GP for CBT last year, my health authority referred me to telephone counselling, which was designed for all, drug a, alcohol addicts etc obviously trying to save money.

As I have just moved house , will see if I can get another referral for a one to one as you have done.

Sorry to waffle on, your post has given me great encouragement. Thankyou

Much love JackieO xx

[Catspelle]

Hi that's a great post and I think really helpful to others thank you for sharing.any way in which thing can be made a little easier on everyone is to be welcomed. So glad it's helped you.

[lesleysage]

Hello Heidi, I too really relate to this. On recurrence in Jan 2103, my GP's advice was "Your job is to focus on growing healthy cells; try not to lose weight, exercise well and rest well." Another quote I've valued is that of Atul Gawande, last years BBC Reith lecturer, who said something along the lines of, "In life there are three key things: your 'Well-being' (who and what you choose to value and connect with and how you allocate your time), your Healthcare, you probably learned lots from your Mum and your Medical care is when you come to we medics." Sharing your feelings through CBT sounds really good 'well-being' which probably influences how we approach our 'health care'...two of the three key aspects to our lives.

I've not formally worked with a CBT counsellor but through my work have done lots of learning on topics such as Positive Psychology and Emotional Intelligence plus, have talked with my cousin's husband, a Jungian psychotherapist a few times and he has recommended one or two books plus a research paper or two, mostly US based. All this has helped me tackle those demons, depressions and defeatist moments/hours we all experience.

How you express your experiences and what you have achieved is just brilliant & so encouraging - thank you so much for sharing with us all.

L xx

[Flamingobeef18]

Thank you for all your replies.

The Clinical Psychologist whom I see is part of my local palliative care team. I believe I was referred to her by the Macmillian Nurse who visited when I was first diagnosed.

Clinical Psychologist are quite different from Counsellors. The are highly trained to masters degree level and offer a much broader range of interventions. Unfortunately this means they are more expensive and a bit thin on the ground.

My advice would be to contact your local hospice and ask which Clinical Psychologist Service they use. When you have this information ask your GP to refer to that specialist service.

[gailhay]

I was referred by the oncology team in Leicester to a new service they had set up and was lucky enough to see the clinical psychologist. I agree - she was incredibly helpful and made such a big impact at a really difficult time. I managed to get back to work and learn to live with the disease. I have just been re diagnosed but feel that the help and support she gave me has meant that I have coped with this re diagnosis. Anyone struggling - speak to your local oncologist to see if they have anything out there - I can't speak highly enough of the service I received xx