Feeling really low

Still waiting for op date, was told it would be withln a fortnight on 22nd September. Not sleeping and extremely ratty! Have pain all over and feel like parents are becoming more selfish and demanding. I know they won't be here forever, but I need to sort my pressing needs. I'm not usually this selfish. Sorry for whinging ladies. Every day is feeling like a week at the minute...

13 Replies

  • Dear Bobbysgirl, You're entitled to feel ratty with an unexplained delay in your surgery date. Can you ring the hospital to ask why? I hope you get a date soon so you can focus on that.

    It's good we have this forum to vent our feelings when we're fed up or just to share happy moments. It's such a shame your parents don't understand you a bit better so they can be mor supportive. I guess they must be frightened and upset by your diagnosis and everyone reacts differently to this. I wonder if you could explain to them very gently how you feel and give them some suggestions as to how they might support you whilst you're going through this awful time.

    I assume there's a Bobby somewhere? I hope Bobby is being a rock for you.

    Sending love and sympathy. xxxx Annie

  • Totally understandable. We have all felt or feel like that from time to time. Your not being selfish at all. You need to look after yourself otherwise you wont be able to respond to others demands. Sending you a virtual hug and hope that you get your op soon and that you will be able to move forward. Kathy xx

  • Oh dear, I can understand why you feel so low & ratty - the waiting game is horrible, as you wonder what is happening inside while you wait. If you do not get your date by Monday - call the hospital/doctor.

    All I can do is send you warm hugs and hope that the wait will be over soon & the op will be a huge success.

    Try and rest before your op though (easier said than done), as this will help you in recovery.

    Regards, Daisies

  • I agree that it would be a good idea to call the hospital and see what the story is and hopefully get a date for the operation. The waiting around isnt nice, hopping every time the phone rings thinking its the hospital and then its not. Treat yourself to something nice this weekend. I understand what you are saying about your parents. It doesnt get any easier when your patience is wearing thin. You feel it more when you are unwell, sending you best wishes and hoping you get news soon

  • Oh you poor thing , its such a state to be in, and its such a difficult time. Everyone is panicking I would imagine.

    If you can take some time out for a walk with a friend or I found mindfulness useful for difficult situations. I eventually asked Gp for help sleeping and help with anxiety and took some meds - they worked in the short term.

    I hope you get home answers about your op date and try and get some peace.


  • Sorry to hear that you don't have a date. It's much harder not knowing. You're not being selfish. It reminds me of the instruction on airplanes to put the oxygen mask on yourself before the child. If you don't look after yourself you can't care for anyone else. Do you have friends or other family who could help with your parents or explain to them what you're going through ?

  • Call the hospital just in case your letter has gone astray, mine did. It won't hurt to check. Hope your letter is on the mat today x

  • Dear Bobbysgirl

    My heart goes out to you in your situation right now. I am not sure how old your parents are but from my own first hand experience there are lots of complex emotions when you are dealing with cancer and helping elderly parents at the same time. If you are like me you don't want to worry them by spelling out the pain and treatments you are going through. On the other hand even though they know there is something going on with you they may be too scared to face the reality. They cope by making demands as if you are perfectly ok. Because you are not sleeping of course that adds to your stress. I may be totally wrong in thinking you have a similar situation but that was my experience. In fact for some strange reason it kept me going by being focussed on something else.

    I really hope that you get your operation as soon as possible and that it will all go well. In the meantime perhaps your GP would prescribe some sleeping pills to help you get some much needed rest. Things look so much worse after a sleepless night. I know that you realise you have lots of understanding women on this forum who all came to my aid this week. That is why I want to be there for women like you who are stressed. Take care


  • First of thank you. My man is 88 and my dad is 92 in December, so with those facts I'm sure you will understand that brings another set of worries.

    To add to the stress my op has been scheduled for 14th December and not the two weeks from 22 September!

    I wonder if this is the start of being messed around.... I hop not! Take care thanks again

  • Dear Bobbysgirl

    So sorry to hear about your pain and now the delayed date. I had a similar problem and went to my GP about it who faxed my consultant about my pain and worsening condition also I wrote a letter to him myself which included my pain diary. He put me on a cancellation list for emergency surgery as a result.

    Best wishes hope you can get sugary soon. my experience you do have to really fight to get it done urgently.


  • I rang consultants secretary, apparently Mr Sposton feels I can wait until 14th December! That being the case why did his registrar say op would be within a fortnight, I feel so confused! I told my parents of imminent op now I've had to tell them something different

  • Whinge away, Bobby'sgirl. I've so felt like whinging here this week yet held back.

    Practically everyone around me and beyond has got on my nerves. I've felt critical and weepy, not to mention sorry for myself. Carbo/caelex last Thursday, scan Monday and Onc Tuesday for results. The pain and discomfort are debilitating but I'm doing my best to hold out till onc appointment.

    Oh the "what-ifs", self criticism, not to mention rattiness.......

    I love the airplane safety routine analogy someone mentioned. When I put my own needs first (very challenging after almost a lifetime of doing the opposite) I can be there for others which in turn gives me inner peace. Research shows that's good for our recovery process 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 so I say, bring it on, selfish or otherwise.

    Hope you get your op date soon and thank you and everyone for sharing xxx

  • Sounds like you are going through the mill! Makes my problems pale into insignificance! You seem really brave. Hoping you are coping ok. Carol x

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