A Wee bit of Advice

A Wee bit of Advice

Now here I am, in a lav so tiny that I had to take off my rucksack and pass it through the door before entering. I've been given a little pot about 2.5 cm in circumference and have been told to wee in it.

I don't have a set of headlights 'down there', I'm less supple than my dog which does unmentionable things with his intimate bits, and I don't have a hidden camera or a mirror.

So what's the secret dear friends to a better aim? Am I doing something wrong?

51 Replies

  • Oh Annie that is so funny yet true, men have it so easy?

    Love Jenny xxx

  • I've always thought little pee pots are so not female friendly. You could do with a shee-wee Annie. It's a device for ladies that enables you to do a wee standing up without pulling your pants down and has a sort of funnel that fits your girly bits. I've never used one but I may invest in one and see if it saves me getting wet hands, lol. X

  • Used one last week,i must have used it wrong because i still tinkled all over my hand and i had to wipe the floor its hard with arthritis in hips back and wrists,the nurse showed me like a man would go it looked comical i nearly burst out laughing lol

  • Aw nooo that's no good is it? X

  • Maybe i done it wrong she looked quite a pro at it x

  • haha that's so funny.

  • You should have been given a cardboard pot to wee in first. Very poor practice.

    Kat x

  • I was thinking of a rubber glove!

  • I asked but they said it has to be done in a sterilised container as it's being sent off for analysis. I did wonder about suggesting the manufacturer provides an optional funnel for ladies.

  • Ann,

    I personally think a little spout is what is needed! An attachment that you can place on the top and can be inserted in an unmentionable area....and then we can have a cleaner and more accurate aim!

    Maybe this can be a lady invention.....

    Sending love xx Janette

  • I know I shouldn't but I haven't stopped giggling!

    Thank you, I will try to be more supportive next time!

    Dawn x

  • If it's made you giggle I'm delighted. You said you could do with cheering up. xx

  • Come on superwoman , of course we can all wee in these ( not) . Afraid i just dry off the outside of the bottle after ive missed with most of it and hand it over ! Xxx

  • but getting down and dirty, Do you straddle the lav or face the door?

  • stop it, I'd just managed to control my laughter!

  • Steady! Don't wee yourself!

  • still wouldn't be able to achieve an aim for that bottle though!

  • There are/was containers like this with another lid and funnel attached so it would go into the pot. Don't know if they are still available

    Wendy xxx

  • I shall write to the manufacturer to enquire. x

  • Haha Annie. I am waiting for the answer, how did you do it in the end? Lol! Sure you managed one way or another. They gave me a great big cardboard bucket for mine and I nearly filled it!!!

  • I'm never in the mood when I get that pot so it's always a challenge to put a few drops in - made worse because most of it goes anywhere but the pot.

    Now I wouldn't mind some anatomical advice here but I did think it might be better to straddle the lav thinking it would position the pistol the right way.

  • Lol Annie so funny and true x don't men have it easy in this dept x

    I personally wee a bit first and then stick it under x flow slower and narrower with a bit more aim !!

    Ally xx

  • Oh Annie, this was funny. Sorry for laughing, been there myself. Problem is when the wee comes out too fast, maybe we need a spped button to press lol. Like others have said, I dry it off afterwards and hand it over to a glove wearing nurse lol. Ann xo

  • Love this, and so reassuring it's just not me who has problems with those terrible pots ! I rinse it under the tap and dry it before handing it over!

  • Yes, I rinse too, but it occurs to me they should provide cubicles with handwashing facilities in for wee samples. Imagine the door handles after 30 or so women have used them having tried to wipe wee from their fingers! yuk!

  • Or rubber gloves x

  • Yes I had the same thought Chris. It seems a good solution. They'd just need to explain the glove should be removed before leaving the cubicle. It seems a very cheap and practical solution. There are rubber gloves aplenty in hospitals.

  • So funny Annie and there's me thinking it was just me!!! Even worse is when I have a medical at work. Doctors little office is at the top of a chemical plant with the toilet next door and we have to pee on a stick and then figure out how to pull up pants, wash hands and open the doors without letting the stick touch any contaminated surfaces. Then to top it all there is invariably a man waiting outside waiting for his appointment with the doctor so the stick is hastily hidden behind back whilst sidling back into the doc's office. Lucky I'm a woman of the world huh?

    Chris x x

  • Oh Chris! I'm just imagining the situation now. That's so funny!

  • Those bottles used to come with a cardboard funnel attached, obviously due to cuts these are a victim of those cuts. Worse is when they ask for a mid stream sample. Who the hell can stop mid stream?? I sure can't xx

  • hahaha Chris. That's so funny! I've never been asked for a mid-stream sample. To be honest the wee seems to evaporate on command and I end up producing a teaspoon full and feel inadequate next to other patients handing in a whole bottle's worth.

    Chris, you being an expert in matters, is it something to consider - I mean the number of of women in loos having mopped their hands as well as they can then opening the door. I'd heard loo door handles are the biggest source of germs generally - let alone loos that are constantly used by women providing samples.

    Could there be something as simple as hygiene wipes provided in cubicles without hand basins? xx Annie

  • So funny all of you, i too managed more on my hand and floor,even the back of my trousers , how the hell i did that i do,nt know. I thought i was the only one...xxxx

  • Ah you're making me feel better already. I was the same - it's what probably prompted the post in the first place!!! Has cheered me up enormously today as I have the worst summer cold ever and could really do with a laugh. xx

  • Ha, Ha Annie. I can just picture you trying to aim straight. They give us a sterile cardboard bowl and the loo's are pretty big with washhand basins so its easier.

    Get well soon.xx

  • Thanks! All these funny comments are enough to cheer anyone up!! xxx

  • Oh, that is a scene we can all see..... thankfully I get a little kit with a funnel included, but still manage to get it all over my hands.. My aim must be bad.


  • So, so funny ladies and we can all relate to the problem! The pot might be sterile but the mess we end up in isn't! And neither is the outside of the container come to think of it!!

    Annette x

  • Well our lighthearted bit of banter has come up with many solutions and diversions. It's probably something hospitals haven't considered as it's not usually discussed. Xxx Annie

  • So funny and I thought it was just me! X

  • Hi, I have used a shewee, but probably shouldn't have, as it wouldn't have been sterile. How about a sterile disposable funnel?


  • I find this thread fascinating, and I guess you'd need to sterilise that shewee first. I'm going to take a look at these things as they've been mentioned several times and might just be MY answer to the problem. Mind you, judging from all the responses we'd need to do something about the door handle situation as it's likely to be encrusted with other people's wee.

    I thought Chris's idea was sound. To ask for a rubber glove and keep it on till you have left the lav (if it doesn't have a washbasin).

    It's been a lot of fun and very upliting to share a laugh and a moan with so many lovely people.

    I found this interesting quote on humour from Steve Allen. “Tragedy plus time plus the will to be amused equals comedy. If you don’t have the will to laugh, you won’t be amused—whether it’s by a Chaplin or anyone like him.”

  • Millions of women have been doing this for years so can't see why it's an issue especially in light of the other things we have to go through that do matter. If this was my only problem, I'd be well chuffed. Enjoy the lovely weather. Gill xx

  • LOL Annie. I was given a huge drum to do a 24 hour pee-athon in, on Wednesday. When I dropped it in to reception today, the receptionist *not looking up when I told her I was dropping off a sample* told me to pop it in the tray! By my reaction she guessed it was bigger than your 'Message in a bottle'. Thanks for the laugh xxx Trish

  • You should be given a smal sterile bowl for the sample and the nurse should then tip it into the sterile pot, sample should be midstream as well, impossible if all you are given is the small pot! Standards standards!!!!

  • This is really helpful Madz. Might just be a matter of asking for the small sterile bowl which I'll try next time. Seems eminently sensible. xx

  • Hi Annie, in the same situation, I get myself a drink in a waxed cup from the drinking water machine most hospitals have, and discreetly take it in the loo, after drinking the water. Casually slipped into my bag, tinkled d in, then rinsed over the loo and disposed of in the big rubbish bin, I find it just about manageable - lol. :-)

    Love, Solange

  • Seems like a working compromise Solange and one well worth noting. By coincidence my chemo nurse gave me all my papers this week and in it the Urine Report. There were about 10 tests in all. I wanted to ask what they all were but didn't have time. xxx

  • This thread has again been moderated following several, and various reports of differing natures. Posts have been deleted to maintain the 'flow' (no pun intended) and original intention of the thread and no inference/offence/concern should be taken as to which posts have been removed, nor any perception as to the mods position on the debates had.

    Have a lovely weekend everyone!


  • Best post EVER

  • Whippit.

    I just came across your post here and laughed so hard my sides ache! You have great wit. I also wanted you to know I have read your comments on this site and appreciate your compassion and the advice you have extended to others.

    Much thanks,


  • aw thanks Carol-B. I'm so pleased you had a laugh. There are many wonderful posts, and many fantastic people on this site. It's a great place for support, friendship and information. In espousing diversity and tolerance, the forum has the ability to meet everyone's needs but that doesn't mean it can meet all of our needs all at the same time. It's important to aim for a balance isn't it.

    love Annie xx

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