That niggle which I don't share

Hi Lovely Ladies, Today I received my appointment for the follow up CT scan, this assessment to see if I am ready for surgery. I guess I am sharing this with you because when I was diagnosed my consultant said to me that I would know if the chemo was working I think he meant intuitively I would know. Well my abdomen is considerably flatter then it was, I have lost so much weight everything is a lot less. I can no longer feel the golf ball which lead to my seeking help all good so far, but there is a niggle and that niggle is becoming a voice that I keep pushing away. I have pain always towards the top of my abdomen its there most of the time but not so bad that I need to take pain relief but it is getting worse day by day. And I know none of your have crystal balls and can tell me not to worry it such and such, but I'm afraid of what that pain is telling me and I have not shared this with family or anyone for that matter, I need to put the niggle away I guess and maybe sharing this with you all will help................RRRRRROOOOAAAARRRR. Xxxx

12 Replies

  • Hi,

    I have a tenderness at the top of my abdomen which I think has been there since surgery but can't be sure, gynae checked that part of me today so must be relevant, however it seems that aches pains and niggles are not an indication of anything other than our body dealing with it's traumas. Please do not worry about what might be, only what is, after the journey you have had the last few months it is no surprise that you are concerned, does the pain interrupt you when you are busy, draw you away or is it a pain you think about in quiet times?

    LA xx

  • No its there all the time Lily-Anne when I'm busy moving about its much more of a pain today I did resort to pain relief. Your right until I know for sure there is nothing I can do, the appointment made me realise I will find out soon

  • I wouldn't worry too much about the pain (easier said than done) am I right in thinking that you haven't had surgery yet? so hopefully you will be soon on to your next stage of treatment which is probably surgery, and this should relieve your symptoms further.

    I hope though you will soon be pain free, I didn't mean it is nothing to gripe about because it is ....but just try not to worry about it.

    Best ishes love x G x

  • Hi Pelican!

    It's fine to share a niggle. That's what we are here for, even when the ROAR becomes a whimper from time to time. If you want some phone advice after the weekend, the helpline is good. It's staffed by nurses who have had experience of OC and they are really helpful. It's only Mon to Fri working hours though. It's 0845 371 0554. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, except to say keep on thinking of ways to keep busy until you can get it checked. It may be nothing to worry about but you will worry until you know for sure what is going on. I don't know which stage of treatment you're at, it may be a normal progression of symptoms. anyway, just wanted to send you a hug (((xxx))) and lots of posivibes.... a glass of wine or five always helps too ;-)

    Love Wendy xx

  • Hello Pelican

    I was lying awake last night worrying about a pain that is persistent. I bet there are lots of us on this site who are doing exactly the same thing. Take the pain relief, its not an admission that something is wrong. No pain means less worry and there is nothing to be gained by worrying until you have got something concrete to worry about. Its far more significant that you cant feel the golf ball any more. I would put money on the chemo having worked and your being ready for surgery.

    I sound like I am preaching at you sorry, I am hopeless at taking my own advice! I will dose myself up with some paracetamol tonight.

    Love Sarah

  • Hope you have a good painfree night. I'm up at the Marsden on the 15th. Scan day AAAAARGH.

    love Suex

  • I will be there on the 15th too. Still every week which is annoying but I would rather still be on the trial than not!

    See you then.

    Love Sarah

  • Thank you all I have taken pain relief and given myself a talking too need to stop worrying about what I can do nothing about xx

  • Sounds like a good plan, pelican! The real answers come after surgery, in the run up its unsurprising you are worried, and since the original golf ball has definitively shrunk then clearly you have reacted well to chemo. No point in thinking further, right now - the only way to face this bloody thing is a bit at a time, and absolutely taking pain relief and any other relief offered, in getting through each day at a time!


    Sue xxx

  • The mantra that got me thru' was (and is) 'I have all that I need at this moment in time'. It used to focus my thoughts a little, I might use a relation CD I had to meditate and relax a little, this took around 30 minutes, and during it sometimes I dozed off. I would wake to the realisation that I needed something to eat or drink, I felt like walking our dogs, whatever.

    Have you had your CA125 monitored? If not, why not? Have you asked whoever it treating you about that? I was terrified about that g-ddamned test, to such an extent I was afraid to ask until before my 4th chemo. I then discovered it hadn't been done since August, when I was diagnosed. That is called medical negligence.

    Best, Vxxx

  • Don't worry vipervictoria my consultant said he wouldn't be able to pull the wool over my eyes all tests that should be done are being done. I am having 1st line chemo before surgery and I know that until surgery nothing is for sure. I am back to my ROARING active positive self Love to you keep strong xx

  • I'm not at all sure I'd just take pain killers if I had a persistent pain. I would ring the CNS at my local hospital just to check out what's going on. You're not someone to make a fuss but the niggle is growing into a voice.

    Why not give them a ring just to see them even though you have got a follow-up appointment very soon. Persistent pain that nags and grows is not to be ignored. They might well be able to reassure you and say it's a side effect of chemotherapy or the way the cancer presents itself.

    Look at me giving advice like that. I'm the worst ever for not seeking help ... but perhaps bitter experience has taught me a lesson.

    Please let us know how you're getting on. Good luck for your post-scan appointment.

    xxxx love Annie

You may also like...