Friendships

[TracyD8]

Has anyone else experienced this with their friends I'm very lucky I've a small close circle of friends but one in particular tried to take over everything became quite possessive and intrusive so much so that despite speaking to her telling her I appricated everything but that I needed to do things in my own time and sometimes just needed a bit of time alone she still continued to well drain me emotionally & now that treatment is over some people have really backed off its like once you stop treatment they think you don't need them it weird as in some ways I feel like I actually need them more as I'm off work and my family are getting back to normal well as normal as we ever

[HogwartsDK]

Hey Tracy!

I know exactly what you mean! I think when we get out the other side of treatment everyone is so relieved that they just want to forget about it and go back to where they were before! For us that's just not possible! Cancer changes your life and no matter what happens after treatment it has a profound effect on every aspect of your life, only people who have gone through it can truly appreciate that. Though family and friends do their best! This is why I continue to engage with this wonderful forum the ladies on this forum know exactly what it's like they know exactly how you feel it's such a safe and secure place to get advice and just vent! I have said it before and I will keep saying it this forum kept me sane throughout treatment and still helps me to get back my balance on those days when it all seems too much!! Thankfully the number of those kinds of days is getting less and less as time goes on!

Hope you are well otherwise!

Dx

PS: Presume that's your gorgeous little girl sporting mummies fab wig? 😂😂😂....looking Fab!!!

[TracyD8 in reply to HogwartsDK]

Hi lovely

I thought it was just me ! yep my Sister is like that she hates talking about it not in a bad way it's just hard for her as I'm her big Sister to be fair most people have been brilliant but it is noticeable with some people yeah that's Ella pretending she is me she loves my hairy helmet as she calls it otherwise so far so good feet still driving me bonkers back on March 23rd how's you any adventures X

[Hidden]

Hi Tracey yes friends change and when we finish treatment we also find ourselves at a loss. We are back to the big bad world and no support, What I would suggest is you find an Arc Cancer Support House near you where you can talk out your feelings and feel safe in doing so, I have used one here in Cork and found it so helpful, Friends and family think all is okay when treatment is over but that is not the case, you actually feel more vunerable. We lose friends but we also make more friends. I wish you well and maybe you might think of my suggestion, In addition, Ovacare are holding a Patient Information Day in Imperial Hotel Cork on Sat 11th at 10.am and you gleam information about the illness from professionals as well as meet women with the same illness. If interested go to the Ovacare Web page and Register for the event, it is easy to do this,

[Caroles1]

Hi Tracey,

I so agree with what the ladies have said,I have some familly and friends who gave outpourings of grief,"you should have told me you were ill,I would have visited you "etc .Have I heard from them,have I heck! I now give them a wide berth. Also one friend became obsessed with my health,wanting to know the ins and outs,then she went through a time of panic attacks,hinting it was because of me,we are no longer in touch.

I think familly and friends,once it's "over" like to pretend it never happened,they like normality.Unfortunately it isn't over for us,even if we are lucky enough not to have a re occurance,it's always there,messing with our head.

That's why this site is such a godsend,I have made good friends and ladies I can talk to no matter what.As Suzuki said,join in with the things that are going on in Ireland and talk here,it will help,

Love Carole xx

[annieH1]

It's like the some of the lines of a song I sing,"Now Old Friends are acting strange,they shake their heads and say that I've changed".

It happens all of us Tracy,once they know treatment has finished they expect the old Tracy back.That rarely happens,as cancer does change us and it will take you a good year for your body to recover both mentally and physically.Dont drain your self by having to explain these things to them.Tell one good friend and ask her to tell the rest.Im sure once it's explained properly to them by that 1 friend ,things should improve xx

[Carolelynn]

I can relate! I had hundreds of cards, calls, visits after my surgery, flowers enough for a funeral home. I'm t has definitely slowed up a bit. Still have family and friends all around me but not the same. I did go into remission but for only 10 months and then back on treatment. I had a total of 36 rounds and it's really old for me as well. I'm now on Rubraca a pill. I too like my space and need time to process my new life. I think it's quite normal to feel exactly as you do. Cancer is a whole new life and you have to figure out how to live with it.

Have a nice day

Carolelynn