Feeling low -Is it the time of year??

Hello all

After feeling quite smug that I had retained a positive outlook I am now in the doldrums...........I'm due to have 5th chemo in second line next Thursday (22nd) and I know that I will be feeling rubbish over the Christmas period - this chemo (Carbo/Cyclophosphamide + Avastin) is knocking me for 6 - blood transfusions last week and just feeling exhausted all the time with white blood cells and platelets on the floor constantly.

I'm explaining my mood away by saying it's Christmas and everything is meant to be good, so as it's not all good at the moment in my world, that's why things seem blacker than normal!

Good news is that I have only 1 more left in January and then Avastin for a further 12 months during which time CA125 will be monitored.

I wish all you lovely ladies best wishes for the Season and New Year of 2017!

Juliet

14 Replies

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  • Hey Juliet!

    I was only thinking of you the other day when I registered for the Coffee morning in Dublin in Jan I hope you will be able to make it!

    I am not in the same position as you but I had a wobble during the week too so I do think it's the time of the year coupled with everything you are going through!

    I hope you have a restful Christmas and don't get too ill so you can at least enjoy some of the holidays!

    Mind yourself and maybe see you in Jan.

    Happy Christmas!

    Dx

  • Thanks D! I haven't actually registered for the coffee morning yet, but I fully intend to go - it's always good to meet up with the Ovacare group and patients. I am having my family for Christmas, but I won't be doing much of the work!

    Have a lovely Christmas and I look forward to seeing you in Dublin in January!

    Juliet

  • Hi D

    I just looked at Ovacare website and don't see the Dublin Coffee morning - what date is it being held?

    J

  • It's on the 21st of January in the same hotel as the last time in Kilmainham. If you click on register for coffee morning it comes up on the drop down menu!

    See you there hopefully!

    D

  • Thanks D!

  • Hi Juliet, its a combo of the treatment side effects and the weather. Then again everyone seems to expect too much of us over Christmas from sending cards to shopping etc and really it is overwhelming, Your transfusions should bring you back to some kind of humanity, You also need to rest and look after yourself, I would ask for strong anti sick next week to help you feel well for a some of the Xmas Season maybe Emend, they are much better than what they give us first. Its okay if you are unwell Xmas day, you can do the Xmas thing the following week if you want, There is nothing set in stone, At least you are coming to the end of the hard stuff and the Avastin is easier to cope with on its own believe me. So its okay not to feel okay even when you are expected to,

  • Thanks for your words of encouragement Suzuki - you're so right.........I'm looking forward to 2017 and to feeling a lot better and having a long, long remission!

    Juliet

  • Hi Juliet,

    I think is a Xmas time makes us more nostalgic. I'm the same. Of course chemo doesn't help. I'm after 2 sessions and I'm so so weak. The third one I have on 29th of December. Doctor is decreasing my dose and changing antisicknes drugs. Hopefully I won't have to take 12 neulasta jabs like I'm taking now (2left). I really hate them.

    I was making ginger breads today with my son and I am exhausted. I got ulcers in my mouth (first time ever) and this make me crazy. It Hurst s a lot. Any advise how to deal with it is more than welcomed. Also I got a tiny little blister from new shoes and...it got infected. Don't even ask me how? I wouldn't even think it is possible. Definitely I can see that my immune system is weak and not fighting as it should.

    Well, 4 more to go. Hard to be optimistic. Bleh

    Enjoy this Xmas week. Don't do to much!

    Hugs and hopefully I'll see you in January

    Zaneta, xxx

  • Hi Zaneta

    It's very tough on you at this time, in particular as you won't get to go away as you had planned. Hopefully you will be feeling a little stronger around the Christmas period.

    Suzuki's advice re the mouth ulcers is good - I haven't really had much trouble with these thankfully - I use the BioXtra mouthwash followed by Mycostatin twice a day and it seems to work for me.

    I sympathise with you about the Neulasta injections - I had major issues last year after getting them, awful bone pain. I've had two so far this time and very little pain. The good thing about these injections is that they do increase the white blood cell count.

    I hope you can enjoy Christmas with your family and I look forward to seeing you in the January.

    All the best

    Juliet

  • Hi Zanetta, Difflam mouth wash is good for mouth ulcers or the good old fashioned salt and water but not very hot water, Maybe try the difflam first, also buy a soft tooth brush and use for the moment, Yes we have to be very careful with cuts as we need to keep them covered in case of infection, So get some kind of a dry dressing in the chemist and bathe in salt and water. It is normal for the immune system to be affected so buy the hand gel and wipes and also dettol wipes for door handles stairs bannisters etc, One of my friends went so far as to ask her family and anyone calling to use the hand gel and left it on Hall table because her system was so down, They understood and obliged. I bet you had fun making the ginger bread men and I hope you ate one or two, We all get down days but they do pass, its just Xmas time and we feel so much more emotional, It is harder for you because you had plans to go away and that is not going to happen now, Every thing passes and you will get there dont worry, sending you a big Irish hug xx

  • Hi Juliet, I'm so sorry you are feeling down and sad, you're going through such a lot all at the same time at the moment and I think it's only natural that things suddenly feel too much.. Plus your blood is not at the right levels and that has a huge impact. You know things will pass however when you feel down that doesn't help,does it? We live in the 'now' and you can only feel as you do at that moment xx it's also natural to sudden,y wonder what lies ahead, which no one can tell with any accuracy and if all,those thoughts come together at the same time then no wonder you feel things are not rosy.

    We care about you even if we don't know you, and I know we all send you virtual strength and our best wishes, hope you begin to feel stronger soon. Have as good a Christmas as you can

    Take care

    Clare xx

  • Thank you for your lovely message of support Clare - I'm actually beginning to feel better now!

    I hope you have a lovely Christmas and are looking forward to 2017..

    Juliet x

  • Hi Juliet55,I did reply to your post earlier in the week but it's gone to space as it has disappeared which seems to be happening to a lot of my posts recently.I think it is normal to feel down as I had my meltdown a few weeks ago. I too will be in another zone for Christmas as I am on chemo 5 days this week but we can celebrate in a different way even if it's only with a bowl of ice cream. I hope your chemo went well today and try and have the best Christmas you can . I hope to see you at the Coffee Morning in January . Kittie 🌲🎅🍨

  • Hi Kittie

    Such timing! 5 days of chemo on Christmas week! But, as we all keep reminding ourselves, if it does what we hope it will, the side effects and mood swings will be worth it.

    My oncologist only gave me one component (carboplatin) yesterday as my platelets were low - and nurse suggested I try Stemitol for nausea instead of valoid as it's easier on digestive system. So far, I'm not feeling as nauseous as normal at this time of the cycle- so I'm hopeful for next few days!

    I wish for you too Kittie to have the best Christmas that you can and look forward to seeing you in January

    Juliet x

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