Hi I don’t really know how this works but I just need to see if other people feel the same way as me. I think I have ocd , my mind manages to obsess over things from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to bed , and tries to convince me these thoughts are true causing me severe distress and anxiety leaving me crying multiple times a day. So before I have had obsessions for months including thinking I had cancer for months because I had a stomach ache , which was checked out by the doctor and was fine but my mind at the time told me I was dying and obsessed over it so much that it left me crying myself to sleep every night. I’ve had a boyfriend for about 4 months now who I love dearly and is the most amazing person in the world , yet one day my mind thought “ could I be gay” and then it started off a worry of this for about a month putting this thought into my head when I knew deep down I wasn’t but it just seemed so real, my head was telling me “ you might be bisexual “ or “ you need to break up with your boyfriend you don’t like him really” leaving me so upset and I had this thought about being gay in my head for about a month every second of the day even though I wasn’t , and the only reason that obsession changed was because a new one started which is what happens with me , when one obsession goes another one begins. This one was me remembering a few conversations I’d had with boy mates since being with my boyfriend and my head told me “ you’ve cheated on him you was flirting with them “ even though I wasn’t because I love my boyfriend so much , so then my mind started to obsess over every single conversation I’d had with a boy since dating my boyfriend and I’ve had to seek reassurance from him and my mum to make me know it’s okay . Although one of the thoughts just won’t go away , about 2 weeks after we started dating I had a joke with one of my boy mates about having sex and it was a joke and I told him it was a joke and he knew that ( we had a friendship where it was quite jokey) and then since I’ve had this worry I started obsessing over this and I told my boyfriend and he knew I was joking so then I started to relax. But then , my head told me “ what about if you send him a photo of you while joking about that “ which made me worry even more because I knew I had saved on my phone a photo of me posing in the mirror with some pyjama shorts on. Then suddenly my brain started obsessing over this worrying that I might have done it making up the senario in my head even though before then even when I told my boyfriend about the joke before it didn’t even cross my mind because I don’t think I done it. I genuinely don’t think I done it because I wouldn’t do that regardless of having a boyfriend or not especially when I was joking , but the thought won’t pass and the more and more I obsess over it the more it is making me believe it’s real. I love my boyfriend and I would never do anything to hurt him especially because I’ve been affected by cheating in the past, it just don’t make sense to me how if it would have happened I wouldn’t have thought about it until now , because I am a worrier so surely I would have, especially when before I was just obsessing about the joke in general when I told my boyfriend and mum , The thought of me doing something like that didn’t even cross my mind. So can anyone please help me I feel like I’m going insane
I think I have ocd, my mind manages to convinc... - OCD Support
OCD Support
I think I have ocd, my mind manages to convince me things that aren’t true and cause me to obsess so much that it is ruining my life
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HiSorry to hear you are going through all of this.
It very much does sound like OCD.
My daughter, I believe has suffered from this horrible illness since she was about seven. Then she would worry about lots of things , obsess over things that’s she had said , done etc and asking for reassurance nearly every second of the day - for these thoughts. We bought a book called starving the anxiety gremlin( she appropriator her at the time ) and I said you can tell me 2 of your thoughts per day and ask for reassurance , the more attention you give ocd the worse it becomes. We managed to boss it back that time but then last year it came back and she has face a rubbish year with contamination ocd and is now on meds to help with the anxiety and Help her to be able to practice the ERP.
She is told to let the thoughts come, sit with them and ride the anxiety. Sometimes easier than others ! The anxiety will go up and then come down and if you practice mindfulness this can also help.
Maybe encouraging / creating a thought and sitting with it, feeling the anxiety and then almost saying okay so what to it. It is very hard and my daughter has a long way to go but everyone has these thoughts, In people with ocd, thoughts get stuck and need a boot to move them on . We are told it’s not the thought, a thought is nothing it’s how you act on them. People without ocd prob don’t even know they’d had such a thought as the brain has so many per day. The over all treatment for ocd is CBT Focused on ERP and if this doesn’t work medication and a combination of both.
You are not alone, I wish you all the best.
If you can’t find a therapist, there are lots of good OCD books out there that help explain how to retrain the brain.
I know how much distress it causes to everyone so sending you lots of good energy
Hi Thankyou so much , thinking back I think when I was little I had signs of ocd, I remember when I was about 8 or 9 I use to worry about every single thing thinking something bad would happen . So for example I remember getting my first phone probably about 9 and I saved my uncle in my phone contacts as Chris instead of Christopher , and my brain caused me to panic thinking that was bad and that something bad could happen from that and there was many other times like that from around that age. Like I said before with the photo, once I calmed down about that one , my mind put another thought into my head and said “ but what about if it was a different photo” but then I think but surely I would have thought that before, so I don’t know if it’s my mind playing tricks on me to carry on the anxiety because I don’t have much else to think about right now because there isn’t anything stressful going on with my life, and I’m not as busy as I use to be as now the Uk is in lockdown . Before I use to have obsessive thoughts about exams etc convincing myself that when it came to them I would fail etc even though I know I wouldn’t. I just don’t know how to get the thoughts out of my head , because I know that eventually there will be another obsession that will come along , but it’s just about when . And at the moment it’s just leaving me feeling like a cheat even though I didn’t even do those things.
I think the idea is to let the thoughts come in and to learn to say okay, so what, like emails , sort and send to junk.This is what the therapy says but when I say that to my daughter who is now zippering from contamination ocd, she say oh yeh why didn’t I think of that !!!!
But that’s better now than a full in panic attack when I actually mentioned anything to help.
I know how hard it is and how upsetting and distressing it is, I couldn’t bear to see my daughter suffer. I would say to try and get some therapy or self help book.
I will find the one about intrusive thoughts and let you know what it’s called and who wrote it.
We did pay a lot of money - that my
Mum lent me for intensive treatment plan but it was just too much for her and a few thousand pounds later, that we couldn’t afford, she was no better. Saying that they did have amazing reviews and were near by but I think the overall Skype thing and my daughters age didn’t help and the intensity was too much. She is now with CAMHS has cbt and meds, doesn’t like doing the ERP but has improved so much from not moving off the sofa for fear of feet touching contaminated ground to going in car, Eating at table with us , showering everyday or every other doing her make up, eating a take away. Still
No hugs or brushing past, no nose touching By anyone !! or handles but can see light And her getting better and she is her happy chirpy self again.
Please don’t let it ruin your life!!
It is a bully and the more attention it receives, the more it Survives.
You can do it , it is just your stuck brain lying to you , so try and do what you would to a bully or some
One who lies all the time - oh yeh that’s good !!!
Then your brain learns to rewire itself and grow new pathways. You can do it .
You deserve a happy life with your partner
Take care and all the best
First of all, you are not going insane so do your very best to say these are OCD thoughts. When my mind gets going really fast, I stop and tell myself to take some slow breaths from the belly. I start praying and reciting scripture. The one that helps me is “No weapon formed against me shall prosper,” I keep saying that over and over. It reduces my anxiety. I am also on an anti- depressant . Have you been to the doctor? Be kind to yourself and know there is help out there. You are not alone.
I am currently reading and doing exercises in The Anti-anxiety workbook by Martin M. Antony and Peter J. Norton. It suggests not doing safety behaviors or thoughts(like reciting scripture over and over) as that doesn’t allow the person to actually face what is making you anxious. It states that ERP (exposure method) helps your brain to unlearn that something is dangerous and relearn that it is generally safe. It is scary in the beginning but the more exposure to what scares us reduces the fear. I just try to do what helps me in the moment when things are so overwhelming.
Hi, I had a conversation with a doctor around a month and a half ago , who referred me to a therapist for an initial consultation which is happening Thursday. Hopefully that helps me, because during the time between talking to the doctor and this consultation Thursday I’ve had some really low times. I didn’t eat even a meal a day for about a week only eating a few scraps of food , even whilst working at my part time job still and doing my college studies at home, which left me so exhausted because I wasn’t eating that I could barely stay awake, but that is getting better now , I’m eating like 2 meals a day which is more than before , but when my thoughts get too overwhelming it just leaves me not wanting to eat, and back to eating one meal a day which is so unlike me because before I ate so much ! and to sleep for as long as possible because that’s the only time I don’t get them because mine stay from the moment I open my eyes till when I fall asleep ? Have you experienced something similar?
Yes, I do!! I would much rather be sleeping than deal with my thoughts anymore than I have to! Currently, I am not employed and there is really nothing on the horizon for a job. Therefore, I will stay up later and sleep til later in the morning. And then I try to convince myself throughout the day to do something other than watch tv. My motivation is not the best right now. When you say that you don’t eat as usual when consumed by these thoughts, I am the exact same way. The only thing that sounds good is chocolate!! Anyway, reading what people post and what they experience, I just want to give everyone a hug and help in doing something for them that will make them feel better because I know what they experience. Talking to others helps me to feel not so alone, but at the same time it really feels lonely for me cuz I know this really is up to me to find strength to keep on. I continually find myself in the same pattern in life where I try to find a job I like, I find it is not fulfilling or my boss or coworkers are not friendly, so I move on. Then every year I try going off my meds and that has always proven disastrous. These emotions are absolutely unbearable at times! I wish you the very best with your therapist! Keep me posted.
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