So, I'm sure I'm not alone in this since we are in a pandemic but I have been feeling pretty isolated. I temporarily dropped out of school due to chronic illness and I don't have a job, so I don't really talk to anyone besides my family. I'm finding it hard to fill up my time since my chronic illness limits me a lot. I lost contact with most of my friends from high school and when I did attend college I didn't make any friends. I was going through depression and felt like there was this wall between me and other people and I felt so disconnected.
As a way to cope, I lose myself in books and shows pretending that fictional characters are my friends, which unironically makes me feel worse as I realize they are not real (shocker)! I find myself in a pool of comparison that I find it hard to get out of. I always feel like other people are doing something with their lives and I'm just a loser. I literally feel like I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. I feel kinda lost and don't know what I want to do as a career. All I know is that I'm interested in music and writing but don't know what to do with that. Wow, I sound so angsty.
I know I'm not alone in this and that I have so much to be grateful for, but I just needed to vent. Anyone else relate?
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Pink733
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I think it could be a number of things. Missing school because of illness means you are out of the loop with your schoolmates. It's easy to drop out of the loop but difficult to get yourself back in.
Then feeling lonely and alone knocks your self esteem. That means you are reluctant to impose your company on other people in case they reject you, and wait for them to befriend you first.
I know the feeling! I'm often afraid of making the first move in a friendship. I assume people won't like me enough to want to be my friend.
But there are ways around this. Making a point of chatting to people, whether you are acquainted with them or not, is a start. It open you up to other people and gives them the opportunity to befriend you.
It's easy to assume that other people are making a great success of their lives and to feel that you aren't. But this isn't necessarily the case.
People put their best side onto Facebook, Instagram or what-have-you, though many are sitting in their bedrooms in a pair of jogging pants rather than living the dream; the media confronts us with images of people who appear to be brilliant and successful, though many of them are what are called 'non-ebrities' who have really achieved little.
Nothing to be ashamed of in a little fantasy! Many of us who love reading make friends with the fictional characters in books. Literary critics make a career of writing about fictional people made up by someone else! Don't feel bad about it.
Go on and try your hand and writing and music, if that's what you want. Remember that you can have a go and practise. A lot of writers discard a lot of things that don't work, so don't get discouraged if you don't always come up with a work of genius, as you can always try again! The great songwriter George Gershwin, (one of the best songwriters there has been) once said he wrote six songs a day to get the bad ones out of his system. Have a go!
Such a relief to know I am not alone, it's hard too because my chronic illness limits me a lot so some days I have trouble filling my time which does not make it better. It's frustrating when I want to practice my guitar but I don't feel good enough to practice. If I could I would go to my school and take guitar lessons but that's not an option right now. Ahh, life is so complicated You are definitely right, sometimes I want to write something but fear that it won't be good enough but I shouldn't let that discourage me since even the most talented writers need to rewrite again and again. I know I shouldn't feel bad about living in a fantasy and sometimes I don't but then I feel like doing that makes me feel worse because I use that as a way to escape from my own life. Yes, social media can project someone's life that doesn't look realistic. My therapist has told me that before. I need to remind myself of that Also, no one in my family does music so trying to learn an instrument and singing is overwhelming since I don't exactly know who to turn to. Thanks for the encouragement
The only way to improve your guitar playing is to practise! Are there online courses or lessons you could take? A lot of professional musicians, including teachers, are putting their stuff online, because they can't play live or teach face-to-face. I know it's not as good as proper one-to-one teaching, but it could help!
There are few writers who can put a pen to pristine white paper and come up with a masterpiece! Or as it now is, type up a masterpiece on the computer without a struggle! Many an overflowing wastebasket has graced the workspace of many a great writer! And on a computer you can move stuff around, delete it, restore it, mess about with it as much as you like! I do it constantly when I'm writing.
A rich fantasy life is good for a writer. That, and observation. And observation doesn't mean you have to be out and about constantly. It just means watching what is around you.
Some musicians do have the support of a musical family and grow up surrounded by it. But many come from tone deaf, unmusical backgrounds and still manage to make great music.
Chronic illness can put obstacles in your way. But that doesn't mean you can't succeed! Make the most of the lockdown to do what you want to do and enjoy doing.
You are so encouraging! I have chronic dry eyes and sometimes it's pretty severe to the point where I can't look at a computer but I think I can manage to do at least a bit every day to make progress. It's all about doing the best I can do I know a couple of teachers that are doing online practice. I just need to commit everyday.
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You are definitely right, sometimes I want to write something but fear that it won't be good enough but I shouldn't let that discourage me since even the most talented writers need to rewrite again and again. I know I shouldn't feel bad about living in a fantasy and sometimes I don't but then I feel like doing that makes me feel worse because I use that as a way to escape from my own life. Yes, social media can project someone's life that doesn't look realistic. My therapist has told me that before. I need to remind myself of that 
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