Thoughts on thoughts : I used to be about to... - OCD Support

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Thoughts on thoughts

5 years ago•2 Replies

I used to be about to know my intrusive thought and separate from reality and now im feeling everything together I’m in a panic and I don’t know how to make this better .

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Naturelover123

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MyOCD1235 years ago

Hi! I think this is a really normal thing that many of us go through. My major theme is about harming others, but my OCD likes to bounce around to many different themes and unfortunately this is one of them.

Sometimes when I get a new intrusive thought it may feel slightly different and I worry that it means something. I have the same fear as you do — that one day I will not be able to tell what is real and what is not. I know others with OCD who have struggled with this exact thought. I have worried that I am hallucinating, that I am not real, or that everything around me might not be real. You name it, my brain has probably thought it.

I know how scary this is but OCD is scary and we are brave for living our lives regardless of the fear. This disorder wants to confuse you and convince you that if you can no longer recognize your intrusive thoughts that it means you can not tell what is real and what is not. The truth is, no one knows anything for sure and we have to not only accept uncertainty but also embrace it if we want to recover.

You could be hallucinating right now. I could be hallucinating right now. Is it probable? No. It is highly unlikely but at the end of the day we do not and will never have certainty about anything. When I am struggling I like to respond to my thoughts with a simple “maybe, maybe not”. The more fear you show the more you are teaching your brain that those intrusive and scary thoughts have meaning and your brain will in return send off more frequent false alarms that you are in trouble.

Think of it like feeding a monster. The more fear you show, the larger it grows. The more reassurance you show, the larger it grows. But when you decide that you will live with uncertainty, even though it is uncomfortable, you starve the monster and it will get smaller and smaller. I promise you this. If you are afraid of not knowing what is real try doing some simple ERP and writing out “I am having thoughts that I am unsure what is real and what is not” and then read it multiple times. The more you expose yourself to the idea the less scary it will feel. Also, I did listen to a great podcast that touched on this once. If you get the chance, go listen to the OCD Stories in your podcast app (I think it’s episode 157 but I’m not 100% sure). There is comfort in knowing you are not alone in this.

I know you can get past this bump in the road, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are already so brave, just keep fighting. We all deserve to live full lives and not let OCD stop us from doing so. Sending you all the positivity I have. 💖

Gimi445 years ago

This is completely normal. (Although very distressful) it happens to me all the time. I have OCD/Health anxiety and I struggle to know when is real, when is stress, when I have to do ERP, when I need to go to the doctor, when I am risking my life fit avoiding, when I am exaggerating or overthinking... it's exausting...and of course we cannot ask for reasurance,right? You're not alone. We need to realize the enemy is very tough but we're tougher. There is not always a clear line. Be compassionate with yourself. Get support (therapy and meds) if that helps. Love you guys💪

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