I Have been diagnosed with OCD . in my younger years iv'e suffered with HOCD and my recent one i got over is Checking doors , handbrakes , gas stoves ect . it would cause visual intrusive thoughts if i didn't check them .
Now i have got a new obsession which seems to be cheating OCD . I recently gone out and had 4 beers which is nothing to me . some girl came up to me and asked me do you know where my sister is i laughed and said i don't know who your sister is and walked away . I started walking home and had a voice all of a sudden appear in my head saying what if you kissed that girl who came up to you . i panicked !!! and got home fell asleep and woke up in the morning obsessing over it . It started creating real feeling scenarios in my head which i believed . Obsessed over it for a week and felt so much unnecessary guilt the more i thought of it the more real it felt . Then Saturday came and i had a work party . I've always felt comfortable drinking in my bosses house environment . I got a little silly and drunk to much . so some parts of the night were blacked out . this scared me . i don't get to that point ever ! when it came to Monday i was Still obsessing over the situation where the girl came up to me . So i done the worse thing and asked my friend on text about it and he said NO YOU DIDN'T MATE you laughed and walked off . So i was very confused why my mind played this trick on me .
Soon after that message i started to do a bit of research about this and found so many people who suffer with this . But this is when it got really scary , because i sorted that situation out , i got this horrible Image or vision of some sort in my head of having sex in my bosses toilet with one of my work friends wife she does have a jokey flirt with me but that's in front of her husband and he does'nt care because its harmless he laughs at it . It was a sudden image/vision which was blurry . What i don't get is , there was no (what if ?) . it was a sudden / striking vision what felt real . i panicked . went to his house i went into the toilet . the toilet is so small . theirs basically no room for sex in there but my mind still believed it happened . i ruminated and obsessed over it for 2 weeks . Until i had a family occasion and my ex partner was their . i had a few drinks but none to effect me . she came over and hugged me . literally 10 minutes later i had a panic attack , i had a voice in my head saying your'e going to worry about that now . following day i had visions of it happening . found out it wasn't true by asking again . i know reassurance is a bad thing . A few more have happened after this which all turned out to be false as well .
But what scares me the most is , is the sex one because that attacked me all of a sudden with a blurry vision/image straight away After the first situation got sorted out with the reassurance . Does this sound like Cheating/false memory OCD ? is it trying to attack my relationship with my New girlfriend who i love a lot ?
Some advice would be really helpful on this , much appreciated will.