Relationship OCD is ruining my life. Ways to stop it? - OCD-UK

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Relationship OCD is ruining my life. Ways to stop it?

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Hello. So I’ve been in an amazing relationship with this guy for 7 months. I’ve always had anxiety/OCD, but I’ve never experienced OCD that focuses on my relationship. Anyways, recently I’ve begun having obsessive intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend’s interest in me, whether he’ll lose interest, whether he’s the one (although I know in my heart he is), whether he will or is cheating, etc. I know he wouldn’t cheat and that he loves me, but this OCD sometimes really tries to convince me of the opposite and I feel ashamed, especially since I know he’d be hurt if he knew I had these thoughts although they’re beyond my control. Yesterday I had a particularly bad bout of thoughts and I sobbed for an hour and couldn’t sleep. I’ll have moments of clarity where my OCD will go away and I can clearly think about how great things are with my boyfriend without the intrusive thoughts. Anyways, this being said, I’ve been on Zoloft for a while and it seems to not be working at the moment so i know I’ll need to get my dose boosted. In the meantime, I was wondering if anyone has any coping tips, maybe such as a dietary change or change in thought process that has alleviated symptoms? I’m really desperate to get better at this point.

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I can tell you a story of someone I know, for what it's worth. She had similar symptoms to you. He stuck with her, but she eventually got out of control and started to actually believe her own thoughts. In the end, she ended it.

I also suffer with OCD, albeit with a different obsession (checking / security). I've not found any diet or drug that helps, the best ways to manage my thoughts seem to be distraction and avoiding stress.

Sorry it's not much, hope it helps.


Try ERP.


It's often the case that OCD attacks you using the things that matter most to you. In this case, your relationship with your boyfriend. It makes you doubt all sorts of things, about his feelings for you and yours for him. It's known as the doubting disease, as it has us doubting things without any reason.

Medication can help enormously, and my guess is that it isn't that the sertraline you are on has stopped working, but rather that you are having a bad spell. As a condition OCD does fluctuate, and we all have runs of being able to manage quite well, and runs where we don't really cope and it really gets at us. Having said that, it might be worth asking for a boost in your prescription. The normal maximum dose is 200 mg per day, but it can be increased to 300 or even 400. I'm on 300 mg per day.

I don't know that diet really makes a difference, but perhaps ask your doctor or psychiatrist about aripiprazole. It is an anti-psychotic, but in low doses it can boost an SSRI antidepressant like sertraline and make it work better. I take 5 mg per day, and I think it helps, and haven't had any side effects.

CBT or cognitive behavioural therapy is the standard treatment for OCD along with medication, and it is a way of learning to challenge unhelpful ways of thinking. Remember that OCD is a manipulative liar. Do get some CBT from an accredited therapist, if you are not already. It is also worth investing in self help books which use the technique.

I do hope you can get back on track and enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend as you should!

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