Not living : Literally going through such a bad time... - OCD-UK

OCD-UK

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Not living

Lost37 profile image
Lost37

Literally going through such a bad time right now, Day 2 of trying medicine prescribed by gp for postnatal depression, I know it’s ocd tho, I’ve not been diagnosed but I’m sure it’s what I’ve got. Anyway I’ve not slept for 2 nights as the meds have messed me up, I have a 12 week old baby and developt anxiety around being a pedo from day 1, when In my head it said “im not a pedo” since then I’ve suffered from trying to convince myself I’m not one, it’s actually killing me! My partner has had to have days off to help me and I feel so guilty for this and also not bonding with baby now as I’ve had to change her feeding from Breastfeeding to bottle, seeing her looking at me breaks my heart. Experiencing such bad thoughts about everyone/ everything 😔

4 Replies

Hi, I would go back to your GP and explain how you feel. See a different GP within your practice if you feel your not being listened to.

It's hard work with a new born and it's great to hear your partner is being supportive.

Hope this helps. X

Lost37 profile image
Lost37 in reply to Blue42

Thanks for your reply, I had some sleep last night but woke up so anxious. Like feeling guilt etc.... still having constant thoughts in my head. Got mental health coming out soon X

Being a new mother is such a huge event in your life, and it's not surprising that many struggle. Also, OCD often rears its ugly head when you are feeling stressed, and it's quite common for pregnancy and childbirth to set it off. Being exhausted and having hormones coursing through your system doesn't help either.

Although my OCD is different from yours, I know just how horrible it is to have intrusive thoughts and a lot of trouble trying to get rid of them.

Another horrible thing about OCD is that it likes to attack you just where you care most, in this case your baby daughter.

Antidepressants do take a few weeks to kick in, and you may continue to feel grotty for a few weeks, but once they work, they do make a difference.

Don't feel guilty. It's assumed that mothers automatically bond with their babies instantly, but many don't. And don't feel guilty about the bottle. I hope the mental health team can help, but you may also find self-help books useful.

Lost37 profile image
Lost37 in reply to Sallyskins

Thankyou for your reply, such supportive words, they’ve put a plan in place for me, so hopefully get somewhere now X

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