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OCD-UK
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Things went wrong again

Things have been ticking along nicely....my daughter touched a coat which she sees as contaminated whilst holding her days supply of soap.

Every time I open my mouth I make things worse. I dont want a row because of something I say or don't say. I get shouted at regardless. What am I supposed to do? X

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Yes we all need a helping hand and not one that is bitten off to the elbow. I just feel its abit of one step forwards and 3 steps backwards x

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Yes I understand where you are coming from. I totally agree with everything you said x

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I totally agree.

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Is there an ocd support group in your area? Maybe if you get in touch that would give you the initial 'helping hand' to get out?

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No., you are quite right there you cannot do it on your own without some kind of help wherever it comes from.

Do you have someone to talk to who understands what you are going through about how you feel?

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You have to think of it as today is just 1 day. Tomorrow is a new page to start afresh and begin each day without looking back as past mistakes. Or other wise the OCD has won x

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Yes you havea good point there Blue42 x

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Hello, sorry to hear of your difficulties after a short reprise. Is it any help to think when things are going well, that's the relationship beteeen you and your daughter, when things turn more difficult you are speaking to the OCD, and not your daughter?

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We used to be very close but with the OCD she nolonger trusts me and she wont discuss her OCD with me at all. Its just small talk now. I do try to make her laugh with tales of when she was little and at times she enjoys to talking to me x

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I would say yes.

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Wait till your daughtee calms down and come bak later necause obviously both of you will need to take time out. Suggest this to her. Say "xo.w back to me when yoy feel calmer try that? Is your dayghter taking anything for her OCD and has she got a Psychilogist or Psychiatrist?

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It's bound to be a bit difficult. It sounds like you have made progress all the same and your daughter is actually doing things she wouldn't have done until recently. It takes a lot out of her to go against her OCD and she is going to feel angry and frustrated. I know, I've been there! She takes it out on you because we usually take things out on our nearest and dearest, as they are more likely to stick with us and put up with it than other people.

Try to remain supportive, sympathetic and firm. I know it's not easy, and I know that I've tried the patience of friends and family. Refuse to comply with your daughter's OCD as much as possible, and it will force her to go against it.

It's horrible, I know, being under attack from your daughter, but I'm sure she knows she is behaving unreasonably and really doesn't hate you. It's the OCD that makes her do that, and when she starts to feel better she can appreciate just how supportive you have been and be grateful for what you've done for her.

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Thanks for your support it really does make me feel like I'm trying to do my best for her. I haven't actually been in a position where I can refuse to do things for her. She is of the opinion that if she can take contol and do little things differently then she can loosen her grip on other things. At least I know shes trying. I over heard her talking to her councellour the other day and she admitted shes trying to cut down on the amount of times ahe washes her hands.. she was using 8, 500mls of soap a day and unless shes going out or doing laundry shes only using 4 at the moment or unless things go wrong and she uses 12 bottles. I do know how much strength and mental power it takes for her not to keep rewashing them. She just sees me as a means to an end. If she didnt need me to do everything for her then I think she would have moved out by now xx

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