Does anyone else get this?

I have a question - does anyone else experience things like this? I'm just trying to find out if this a common OCD trait, or if it's just me.

Something happens - like a thought, or an impulse, or you do something, that you think is bad, and it's the kind of thought/impulse/action that you know (if you do eventually decide it really is bad), will send you into a panic/depression/feeling like it's the end of the world and you're an awful person. Then, you spend the next few hours/days/months trying to decide if it WAS bad. You can only find rest and relief once you have definitively decided it WAS OK. You'll study it from every angle to make sure, and keep going over it in your head.

Is that an experience that anyone is familiar with?

It's really good to have found somewhere where I can ask these questions.

4 Replies

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  • It's definitely a symptom of anxiety, which can go hand in hand with OCD as we all get to experience. You get so fixated that it takes over. Yes, it is common, and sometimes it's worse than normal. I'm fairly new here as well and came here because I had a complete melt down and quit my job. I luckily have a spouse who for whatever reason loves and accepts me and deals with issues as they arise. I don't know if it's the answer you're looking for, but I'm working on living today. Depression brings up the past and anxiety is too far in the future. You should try too. Hold on to where you are. If you start right here you can create a sort of path that allows for a better tomorrow. Positive thinking and active living.

    Sorry for sounding like a fortune cookie, but I have a poetic soul lol. I hope this helps.

    Alf

  • Thank you Alf - I appreciate that. I shall read this over lots of times and try to live it.

  • Hi, there is a Facebook group online called Friends with OCD that I highly recommend. It's a very supportive and understanding community.

    What you've described does sound common. Often people have a compulsion to dig through past experiences or thoughts to see if they prove that they are a bad person. Dr Phillipson refers to it as 'mining' or something similar in his videos. I would recommend them on YouTube. Our OCDs goal (which is wrong) is to make is try to find absolute certainty one way or another, we must find wether something is bad or good, if something in the past means we are bad or good now or going to become bad. We carry out compulsions to try to prove that we are safe, 'if I avoid knives I won't pick one up and stab someone' 'if I don't touch any door handles I won't catch a fatal disease and spread it to my family' (the list in endless! OCD has no limits to its imagination) and then when the fear returns the cycle starts again.

    Learning to lesson these compulsions is about accepting that firstly thoughts are thoughts and have no bearing on your persons and are so distressing because they go against your beliefs. Secondly and more importantly accepting uncertainty which is by far the hardest thing. We will never prove for absolute certainty the future, we aren't psychics. This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness is a skill you can learn to be present now, not in the past, not in the future but living in the now and accepting any thoughts as just thoughts letting them come and go like the clouds do. OCD is a chemical imbalance in the brain that sends a false message of threat which then sets of fight or flight when it isn't needed so your fight and flight learns to become extra sensitive to every trigger and thought and doesn't let up but by changing your reaction into a response of 'it's not me its OCD, these thoughts, urges, feelings etc are a symptom of OCD. I'm so distressed because of a chemical imbalance in my brain sending false messages. I'm now going to carry on with folding washing mindfully and let these thoughts be just what they are, thoughts that are nonsense and have no bearing on me' then you carry on. You sit with the anxiety and your brain learns to stop setting off the panic alarm so often and so intensely. This is where exposure response therapy is most helpful because it forces or guided you to face those triggers and train your brain to respond differently.,

    This is just the tip of the ice berg. OCD is a sneaky enemy so there's lots to learn to overcome it but I promise you, you are not alone. Please feel free to check out my page on Facebook The real housewife of OCD which has my blog on. OCD themes may differ but all the traits are the same. I hope this is of some help X

  • Thanks for this - much appreciated. I'll check out the Facebook page.

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