2,274 members590 posts

Any advice for a carer?

Hi All, my husband has been suffering with depression for around 35 years he has taken fluoxetine 60mg per day for many years and it was manageable although over the years it has taken over our lives and the children's too. Then OCD started rearing its head and life got even more difficult, he had worked all this life and never been unemployed but as this took hold even though he did have support from his occupation health dept, he finally got dismissed on ill health incapacity last December this pushed him over the edge, I do believe he had a mini breakdown. Then we were on (and still are) the potent drugs roundabout currently on risperidone 500mg, mirtazapine 30mg, and fluoxetine 60 mg. he was so bad and diagnosed with severe hyperchondria, that when the family were ill with the Xmas sicky bug he actually went out in the freezing cold to sleep in our small car for fear of catching it! The OCD has always been health anxiety worries. so hee we are a year later, he is totally alienating himself he rarely comes out of the bedroom. He makes no conversation at all, we have no social life at all, I know that the drugs are doing this as if he doesn't take then he's partly back to his chirpy cheeky self BUT the OCD health anxieties snowball beyond belief. I can't help, I don't know what to say everything always revolves around how he is feeling. Literally everything else is irrelevant as far as he can see. As a carer I have my elderly mum nearby whose memory is going I also have a 5 year old grandson that has an extremely rare brain condition for which there is no cure he is one of 60-100 people worldwide with CCM3.

So all in all I have enough on my plate in am a very bubbly caring person but am losing faith and hope in this evil situation that's ripped my family apart over the years. Thanks for taking the time to read this.....

2 Replies

I have a son with severe OCD since the age of 10, now 25, so I know how this affects the whole family. My heart goes out to you. You really are in a very difficult position. Its hard to say but try and have some 'me' time or you will go mad. Something to retain your personality, tap dancing, belly dancing. the movies, facial etc. Hopefully money isn't too tight that you couldn't afford to treat yourself. If money is tight have you tried to get Carers Allowance, as it seems you are looking after husband/mother? I do wish you well, and appreciate how you must be dreading Christmas. In my thoughts, Val

1 like

1st of all, let me say you remind me of my mum. Very brave and very strong willed! You seem to be going through a rough ride and headed a deadlock where by you're exhausted by familys else's health issues around you. You also need to be cared and looked after and need a break. I can understand the care for husband. You love him dearly and want to help him out of this rut which is never ending. My mum feels same way at age 55 and so do I at age 30. Yes, mental health issues are hard to deal with but I believe there's help out there. Get in touch with mental health nurse and gp and psychiatrics and see what extra help they can give to help him get better and also for it to be easier on yourself too when others are getting better


You may also like...