I feel so down and everything is difficult my mum died 5 months ago and ever since I have found it difficult to carry on, my husband is fantastic and has always helped me, she was such a great mum and I miss her so much.

I easily cry and my arthritis is causing me alot of pain at the moment, I never imagined how much pain emotionally you could feel, the physical pain is bad at the moment, I feel so tired with it all and not looking forward to Christmas.

Sorry to be so negative about Christmas

I wish everyone a pain free Christmasx

21 Replies

  • Hell ann57, so sorry to hear about how you feel, I cried for a year after my mum died even though I knew it was a release for her & for me, come to that, my reaction was quite unexpected and I found it hard to take the help and comfort others offered me at the time. Christmas cheer is not compulsory, the fact that Christmas is coming doesn't make a blind bit of difference to the fact that you have suffered such a loss and you are entitled to feel as you do. Crying so much and perhaps the tiredness too will pass eventually, I'm glad to hear that you have a fantastic husband. Season's greetings to you, take care. x

  • Thankyou woolly for your kind wordsx

  • Im sorry to hear that you are still grieving.. hope your husband will help you through

  • Thankyou he is rockx

  • Ann, it took me two years and after treatment did i start to feel somewhat normal whatever that is.My father died 12.12.1999,my mother died 15.8.2000. It was hell for me so i do understand what your feeling. It got worse for me in november, when in the space of three hours i lost an uncle,my son lost two of his class mates and my daughter got threatened with a knife,we think mistaken identity. Go with the flow during this period and one day you will wake up and smell the roses. Hugs to you sylvi.xx

  • Thankyou Sylvi I am sorry you have had such a bad time, and to send me your kind thoughts after everything you have been through, thankyou and I hope you have a good Christmas and Happy New Yearx

  • My mums name was dorothy,but my dad always called her dee. I too was close to my mum and i only have to look in the mirror to see her. I was at a funeral once after mum died and a family member(distant) Called me dorothy. She was mortified when i told i was sylvia not my mum and she said you look so much like your

  • That is lovely thank you for your that some used to say when mum was alive that I was like my Mum I hope so, I look at her picture and say hello in the morning but wish she could say it back. But when I think of all the bad things that are happening in the world the one thing I have got is happy memories of her and her lovex

  • Ann, there is no time limit on grief and it is still early days for you. the pain does ease and you will start to be able to smile at the memories. what's Mums name? my Mum was Sarah Ellen but Dad called her Sal. I have lost them both now and the sadness still returns but the nice and funny memories are there more.

    Sometimes it helps to sit with the feelings, allow yourself to feel, tears are healing. I still talk to Mum and Dad eg if a particular record is on the radio "here's. your song Pads" [Paddy].

    thinking of you,


  • Hi Sandra I never realised how much pain I could feel losing mum, I knew it would be bad as we were very close, my mums name was Margaret but everybody called her Madge, she was poorly for a long time and we knew there was no cure as she had Idiopathic Pulminory Fibrosis but it was a fall that killed her in the end. I talk to her but I miss her voice and hugs, Thankyou for your message x

  • I have nice dreams of Mum and Dad and feel good all day. we were very close too. My cousin used to dread the happening to her, I explained that,for me, I got to spend time with them again. her face went from tearful to relaxed.

    We ere lucky to have good family your Mum, Madge, and me with my Paddy & Sal.

    sending you positive, thoughts,


  • Thank you so much Sandra for your lovely message

  • Hi

    I like Sandra have lost both my parents too, within 10 months of one another. They both died in 1997 and I still think of them daily. Take your time, grieving is different for everyone, as time goes by it will get easier but they will always be there in your heart.

    Hugs Mary

  • so true Mary, losing them only10 months apart, thats' hard to deal with. mine were 2002, Dad, and 2007, Mum.

    My mum told me this [accompanied by the actions] ;-

    always in my memories [touched forehead]

    always in my heart [touched heart]

    aways in my arms in my dreams [touched one arm near shoulder, then the other]

    Then with a wink she smiled and said God knew what he was talking about!

    It then dawned on me that this was the same as the church blessing sign of the cross.

    many church and non-church people.have said she had shared this with them after a loss and it had helped. [that and her gifts of a teddy full of hugs on which I based my gift poem.



  • Thankyou Mary I am scared of losing dad now as he is unwell and has Polycythaemia

  • Thankyou Mary for your kind message, it means alot your support x

  • Bless you ann hope you feel better soon big hug karen xxxx

  • Thankyou sorry late replying not well been to drs and on steroids and antibiotics, I am so luck to be in touch with everyone like you who have given me such great support have a merry xmasx

  • Ann im sure that your mum was like mine your confidant and your best friend.. I will be thinking of you this first Christmas without here

    Alison x

  • Hi Alison Yes she was I could talk to her about everything and the best friend I could ever have she has left a huge gap in my lifex

  • All of you have been wonderful with your messages I felt so lonely with this and thought some days I could not function but with everybody letting me know how their experience and I feel stronger to carry on and know there is no order to grieving or if normal to feel as sad and tearful some days still. Thank you to everyone and have a Merry Christmas and pain free one because you all deserve it Thank you againx

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