It has been noticably quiet on here just lately. Not sure why. For my part, I have been just being doing what is necessary without over doing. Whilst I have had chance to pop on here and have a butchers and give my ten pen'orth that has been about as much as I have managed.
So I thought I would updaten on My Life with RA....
I have often felt (perhaps unjustly) that I have no contribution to make because firstly I am newly diagnosed and my experience is limited in both the RA, the treatment and treatment outcomes.
I have often felt (probably unjustly and unfairly) that unless I have raging symptoms and horrendous side effects I have nothing to say. Indeed I have been known to have written a blog without reference to rheumatoid arthritis at all!!!
I have not had the experience of a DMARD failure, or incessant and debilitating side effects. I have the run gamut of pain, discomfort, fear of both diagnosis and prognosis, and experienced nausea, re-bound headaches, prejudice and the vagaries of the NHS system. However, I would hope that I do have a contribution to make (feel free to disagree).
I do believe in the theory of self-fulfilling prophecy and learned helplessness. Whilst I cried into the armpit of my beloved when I diagnosed, and have oft felt the desire to end it all through all the pain and discomfort, on the whole I have tried to tackle this blooming godawful disease with a fair degree of positivity. I felt I have faced it fist first, and kicked the blooming thing into touch, on the whole.
Whilst I embrace the medical model of treatment, I also believe in the benefit of the alternative and complementary methods of approach. In terms of a change of diet (when the devil isn't sat on your shoulder shouting at you to eat that poisonous jam doughnut). Also in terms of attitude (when you feel strong enough to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again - sounds like a cue for a song!). It's not easy because despite all the support, advice and help you can get, in the end it all comes down to YOU! In the end, it is YOU. YOU stand alone at the end of the day. You have to find the strength to believe in yourself. You have to keep looking to find ways of propping yourself up and keep going.
It struck me today, in the middle of an executive board meeting with our Accountants - yes me, Mr Silageman and son and heir popped along to peruse our year end accounts. It struck me, when my other half said something along the line of "mmmm Ju (that's me!) is fine most days........" explaining my "condition" to the accounts (who is going to help with the DLA application believe it or not). Yes I keep digressing..
Yes It struck me - oh my god or OH MY GOD do you have any idea how much it has taken me to get here today? No, he hasn't. No idea at all. It's not his fault. How can he have? How can anyone? We say so often no-one knows what it is like to have RA unless they have it!.
Sympathy comes in bucketfuls, empathy would come in handy if you're lucky.
So the message of the sermon today peeps is. Believe in yourself, in your own strength, in your capabilities and abilities.
For me this is all a bit serious and intense. I am sure normal nuttiness will be resumed as soon as possible.
I am not entirely sure what I intended to write today. Today I have let my fingers do the talking... walking? whatever!
Sermon over. see ya laters...
Peace and love Julie xxx