Am I feeling sorry for myself? - answer at this moment in time is yes. Am I in unbearable pain - answer at this moment in time is yes. So bearing these 2 things in mind, I've finally sat down and cried over this disease.
What does the future hold - hell knows????
I am sorry for how you are feeling but pleased the tears came. It really is good to cry. I fought it in the early days - I was "fine" it was only when the neck of my t-shirt was wet that I realised I was crying! I now honour my feelings [mostly] and if I need to cry I do. I used to be frightened that, if I let the tears start , I would go so far down I wouldn't stop. Believe me you do stop. regards, sandra
You are not feeling sorry for yourself you are in pain and worried about what is coming next - you deserve to shed tears, its not fair. The only thing i would say is that the first year or so is supposed to be the most difficult as you have not been properly medicated so hopefully things will improve.
Mandos, i know how your feeling as i have just sat here and had a crying jag. I am 9yrs into this awful disease and it doesn't get any easier.
I hope that when you read this you will have a good nights sleep and are feeling brighter this morning.
Sending hugs your way..
sylvi.xx
Thanks Sylvi
Just had my 'breakfast' of 15 pills to start my day, so no doubt I'll be on the ceiling for a wee while once they kick in.
Have a good day 
x
When I was first diagnosed , over ten years ago, I felt the same as you. Couldnt see a future and didnt think I would be able to live with the amount of pain I was in. Well, was put on Methotraxate and here I am, still working as a childminder, doing all the things that I didnt think I would be able to do again and not in any pain at all......as long as I keep taking the pills!!!! There is light ....and life!........at the end of the tunnel! Just hang in there!
Thanks for that 'bevlin'. I've been taken off Methotrexate as it was damaging my liver - that's probably why I'm a bit down about things at the moment. Waiting on the next course of treatment to be prescribed and see which road that leads me down.
Oh the joys
Mandy
x
hang in thei mandos
its good to have a cry gets rid of the inner feeling of pain
but dont let the pain take you down.
johnxx
We all treat ourselves to a dose of self pity and why not, we all hurt
and at times we reach a point where only crying lets out some of
the pain and frustration.
I have had this ****** illness for over twenty years and I 'jokingly'
say " I would miss this pain if it went" like hell I would!!!
Each day that goes by may be bringing us closer to a cure or at
least a more effective pain control, so hang on in there )
Ann xx
I was diagnosed 16 years ago, I can't remember a day since when I haven't been in pain.
Big hugs and we all need a good cry xxx
Glad the tears worked. They always do with me too but I am so good at keeping them in too! Spells between new medications is a killer but you will get through it and hopefully have the anxiety of not knowing what's next turn into some positive news soon. Been there so many times over the last 14 years and it does get easier as you learn not to be so hard on yourself and ride the lows with the not so lows!! Be kind to yourself .. xx
Finally
Finally.......
Phone Appointment - what a shambles
alkaline water
