My hubby is constantly telling me to use a wheelchair for him to push me around particularly when away in Alicante.
I'm not averse to using one in fact we have for instance when going round our local zoo. Hence my awareness of how he pushes me round i it, when asking to be push to a certain direction or area he pushed me where he wanted not where I asked. On downward slopes he's unaware I could fall out. Lastly he pushes me at speeds I don't like, too fast. When I asked why he constantly tells me to use a wheelchair ? His reply be easier for him ah so not for my benefit.
I read on here some of you have marvellous caring OH, which I'm pleased about. This is more me intimating not everyone is cut out to manage care of their loved one as they wish. lol
I have no doubt I will need a chair/mobility scooter at some point but till then rather use my rollator with a seat to keep moving. 😉
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Happy5
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I am so sorry re your experience, your husband is taking a very selfish attitude. I do have a chair for use on bad days, but I try to stay mobile. I walk at a snails pace, and always find myself apologising, as I feel I hold hubby up. We recently went to some gardens, with a lot of inclines. My back and legs were agony, and found myself tearfully apologising. Hubby just laughed, and said if it wasn’t for me, he’d be sitting indoors doing nothing, and that he admired how I push myself, and he never had an issue going at my slow pace and stopping frequently. He really is a gem, I wish everyone’s other half was the same. We’ve been together 40yrs.
I hope you have a wonderful time in Alicante. I would book assistance at the airports, and conserve your energy for when you reach your destination. 🌞🤗
Yes book assistance at airports each time. Hubby is unique and we celebrated 50 years in May. I've always known he's not carer material and fortunately I'm tenacious enough to stand up for myself , but as you say I'm selfish now about my needs.
I'll keep the comment about where would he be if I didn't travel, especially as I was the intrepid traveller in the past, whereas he has anxiety abut anywhere new . 😀
No, you are not selfish at all. Hopefully on holiday, he’ll want to go at a slower pace. Especially as it will be quite hot. My mother in-law lives not far from Alicante and often comes here to stay, as she can’t stand the heat in July & August. Have a lovely time 🤗
I was thinking the same - you could hire / borrow a mobility scooter. In the U.K. you can get them at reception from places like the National Trust but I’m sure you could hire one in Alicante.
You keep walking, at your own pace and do what you want to do, I’m sorry he’s making it difficult for you but at least you know now that that is how he is and you can sort yourself out and he’ll either have to put up with a slower pace or you don’t always do things together ( also you can get straps for wheelchairs to go across your lap)
Hello,,, When I used to work for home care many years ago now we always used to take people “ backwards” down any slopes, that way the person could never fall out of the chair.
Exactly, at one time as was a nurse and also worked in care so often pushed ones in wheelchairs and as you say lots of methods to employ ensure it's safe.
A lightweight air-transportable electric power chair? You’d have complete control as per a mobility scooter, they can be put into manual mode so hubby could push on occasions if he felt the need but they take up less space (length), enabling you to drive up to and sit at tables, worktops, etc., also easier in an airport, shopping centre setting. There are even ones that fold down enabling them to go into a car boot. Check out Amazon initially to see the type of thing I mean…and if you think one might suit you, pop along to a ‘Care’ shop to try them out for yourself. Best of luck, whatever you decide to do…but do enjoy a relaxing harmonious holiday 😂 .
When I started moving Heather's aunt up and down a ramp into our house I quickly realised that she felt more secure when she was facing up the slope. I'm sure she told me to keep the chair facing up the slope. In most cases the feeling of falling out of the chair is more imagined than real. That feeling however is quite powerful.
It makes sense to back down slopes for the comfort of the wheelchair occupant. It also gives you more control and you are not so reliant on the brakes.
Get yourself a scooter or a powered wheelchair then you can guide yourself around under your own pace. I have a scooter and to be honest i wouldn't be without it even though i don't like it much it does get me out.xxxx
I agree Sylvi - I love mine and could not have managed without it for the past few years. Now I’m hoping my recent ankle replacement surgery will help me to begin walking again!
Thanks everyone for suggestions . I know one day I will need a mobility scooter or similar and will sort then.
At present my rollators work fine I'm just slow ,which is what irritates hubby. So as some have said I encourage him to go out on his own to where ever he wishes. My being slow is how it is so either he accepts this or we travel separately.
I go on holiday with our son and family and they are brilliant with me never make me feel a burden, course our son has grown up with a mum who cared for others. Also his wife has a serious chronic health issue so again he is solicitous of her needs.
On a last note my husband is bi-polar and I've supported him through all his literal ups ad downs, I still do in many ways he can't get his head round physical limitations , never has so as KittyJ said I know how he is but sometimes I'm going to push back.
Appreciate being able to offload and thanks for input.
My son uses a wheelchair when out and about (not for a rheumatological condition). he has a manual chair and I had been pushing him when he got tired, but he didn't like me pushing him, it was affecting my wrists which were getting bad, and I wanted him to have more autonomy,
So we invested in power assisted wheels. He can wheel himself for much longer and much easier, has autonomy, and it has saved my wrists! They were expensive but worth ever penny.
I can relate to your experiences. When I needed to use an attendant wheelchair after spinal neurosurgery the person pushing me had no idea of how bumpy surfaces and up/down kerbs, cambered pavements etc. affected me sitting in the chair, hoping I wouldn't tip out. Also, the pushing you to the wrong place, where they want to be, was annoying too when you asked to go and look at something. There should be a safety course!
We have hills in the village. There is a very steep downwards hill at the bottom of our road, the pavement cambers towards the slope and is quite frightening when being pushed in a wheelchair, you have no control over it, only to shout out to the person pushing you.
The slope up to our GP Surgery which is partly an old cottage with a rear extension, is cobbled, totally unsuitable for prams, wheelchairs and people with mobility issues. Then, if you can make it that far, we still don't have a Part M disabled-friendly door at the GP Surgery, the Pharmacy or the shop!
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