Holding babies!

[katekelly]

Hi all, I haven't posted in- well forever or so it seems! I was just wondering how people cope with holding babies? I travelled to Ireland last week to meet my 3 week old great nephew ( first of his generation of our family so very special) and I held him. I have always been known for my love of babies and was always willing to hold one. Well after just a couple of minutes I had to give him to my sister as my hands started to ache quite severely and quickly. I tried to move him and he needed burping and I just couldn't do it. Now maybe one day I'll have a grandchild of my own but it really scared me as to how quickly the pain set in and the fact I had to give him to my sister so fast. Do any of you have any tips for holding babies please?

[Mozart150]

Hi katekelly Is the rheumatoid arthritis well controlled ? I can relate to your post. I have six grandchildren - the eldest 11 and 13 and looked after them a lot when they were babies. It broke my heart not being able to help look after the other four as could not pick them up and hold for long (I also use sticks so can't hold and walk around with them)! I think mine is weakness in my wrists. It's not as back if I'm sitting and passed the baby. There are of course lots of positives though and now the 11 and 13 year old are so capable and don't need physical support. I would discuss this with your rheumy for their advice as we are all so different. Have you had your hands x-rayed ?

[katekelly in reply to Mozart150]

Yes my RA is well controlled unfortunately having had it for nearly 29 years, I am now suffering the consequences of it attacking my joints. I'm seeing the hand/wrist specialist in February thank goodness.

[Gnarli]

Oh lucky you! I love begging for a cuddle but am happy to give them back. Have you tried sitting with a cushion on your lap for little one to lie on? No weight for your wrists perhaps.

[katekelly]

I'll remember that and try it next time - thanks.

[KittyJ]

I’ve just had this exact problem with my new great niece, in the end she was put on my lap and I held her when she was asleep and propped myself with cushions as support. Still a cuddle and I interacted with her while others held her when she was awake so I don’t feel I missed out.

[Madmusiclover]

yes the cushion option is the one I take with my great nieces and nephews.

[Vilamoura]

my granddaughter came from New Zealand before my RA was controlled and I looked after her as a baby. Partly determination to do it but I wore wrist splints to support and this eased the pain

[Tiverland]

Hi. I was a Foster carer. Looking after many babies. When diagnosed ( shoulders, fingers, feet and wrists. I was the same as you. Unfortunately I had to take early retirement. So painful just could not hold little ones. But now 4 years on. Meds working well, fantastic physio and OT I can hold/ cuddle little ones. Maybe for not as long but I can get that important cuddle in. Stick with it, exercise Sit on the sofa with a cushion supporting your arm it helps

[cyberbarn]

Women with RA and other joint disorders still have babies and care for them, so you might want to tap into the information produced for them. For example:

breastfeeding.support/breas...

laleche.org.uk/positioning-...

Okay, you are not likely to breastfeed a baby (although it isn't uncommon in some cultures for grandmothers to do so) but you can use the same positions to hold the baby, such as the reclining position. There may be a local breastfeeding group that you could contact and their breastfeeding counsellors might be able to help with ideas (I used to be one, I would have loved a call from a grandmother!)

Splints are a good idea. But another way to hold a baby is a sling. Not one of those harnessed carriers, but the sort of sling that indigenous communities still use, and is also used by women all over the world. A ring sling is simple to use:

youtube.com/watch?v=GJlXTPI...(Not working as expected?)

And you don't have to hold them in the sling in that position only. I used to use my ring sling with my baby on my lap laying horizontally. This resulted in hands free holding. When he was older I would use it to help spread the weight when he was sitting on my hip on the side.

dreamstime.com/stock-illust...

If I wanted to hold the baby and give the mum some time to do something else (like going to the toilet or drinking a cup of tea without a flailing baby hand spilling it!) I would definitely get into what is called the biological nursing position. That is reclining with the baby laying on your chest. It should work for burping too as the baby's head is higher than the stomach. Just make sure you remember to put a muslin square/bib in the right place first just in case!

[katekelly in reply to cyberbarn]

Yes I had my youngest about 7 years after diagnosis and managed to look after her no problem. However now the disease has done so much damage that I have no strength or mobility in my wrists. So I'm just looking for ideas just for holding now. As for breastfeeding - well I fed all three of my girls including the one born post diagnosis. I could only feed her for six weeks as I had a huge flare and had to go back onto my meds. I was glad really as she quite literally sucked the life out of me! That hadn't happened with the others - however a 10 year age gap does make a difference! If anyone asks me what years my daughters were born their reaction is quite funny as I had one each decade for 3 decades!(1989, 1993, 2002).I certainly didn't have the strength and energy at 38 that I had at 24 and 28 even without the RA! LOL

[Portinatx17]

I wear my hand splints all day, otherwise I would be dropping everything, including my youngest grandaughter!

[Seabird1]

Oh yes. This has sometimes worried me as I have weakened wrists. Having once been a nurse it's made me lose confidence at taking a baby to hold. I used to laugh that my grandchildren would need to climb up my legs. But seriously yes it's disappointing and real. I don't have grandchildren but if I did it would mean bath time tricky etc, let alone manipulating a baby in my arms. Good to see you commenting on this and the advice given by others has been informative to me. 🙂