Dealing with feeling anger

[Summerrain14]

I can’t believe how angry I seem at the moment. It is taking all my willpower to keep my thoughts to myself. Just feeling frustrated with no update or able to get hold of rheumy nurse. Can’t leave a message either. Totally fed up with the lack of understanding from colleagues, manager and so called friends too. I just want to hide under my duvet at the moment and not have to deal with people in general. So not good, helpful or productive. ☹️

[Hidden]

You can always come and vent here Summerrain. When we are reliant on others and things go awry, our stress levels hit the roof and that can make us feel angry. I get totally rabid at times.

[Summerrain14 in reply to Hidden]

Aww thanks poemgalore1. I don’g recognise myself at the moment. Emotions all over the place. So reassuring it is not just me though. Don’t like myself much right now. ☹️

[sylvi]

Vent here all you like darling. Most of us have been where you are at now. I have never had that sort of problem regarding work thank goodness, but I can sure sympathise with you. I got made redundant in 2009 and I haven't worked since. I did want to look for another job, but my advisor at the time told me I wasn't fit for to work. He said it out of thinking about me.xxx

[Sockknitter]

Vent away, we feel your pain. Holding it in check causes you stress, which makes your illness worse.

[Shalf]

Hi Summerrain, I find that anger stems from frustration. At times I feel it too!

I'm so tired of popping pills for infections. Can't take suppressant meds just now which is causing increasing pain and discomfort. My left hand has really joined in now which saddens me as it has been fairly ok and allowed me to do some daily activities. A lot of people are so busy with life nowadays, it seems an uphill struggle to be heard or listened to. I believe life has become more antisocial, selfish and lacking in empathy. I certainly feel this more living with a chronic disease. It's ok to feel the way do just now. Have a duvet day if you can. I used to feel a sense of guilt resting because I wasn't used to it. I don't feel guilt now. I listen to my body and dont fight what its telling me to do. Tomorrow is another day, do what feels right today. xx

[Hidden]

I’ve been there it’s horrible. Go straight to rheumatologists secretary and ask to be seen . I did this and got a quicker appointment. RA is misunderstood even by medics never mind Joe public. We are here for a rant but trying to explain to employers and family is so difficult. RA title is misleading that’s why I call it Rheumatoid disease as it is so much more than arthritis

[AgedCrone]

Have you tried calling the general rheumatology department at your hospital rather than a rheumy nurse line where you can’t leave a message?

If you are not settled on a satisfactory drug regime you should not be left high and dry with no contact back up provided.

But do try not to Over stress yourself about how you are feeling. Before getting settled on meds that suit us I think we all felt like that....you are not being unreasonable to feel neglected by your rheumy team

Friends don’t mean to be unsympathetic but if you think back ....did you really know what rheumatoid arthritis meant before you were diagnosed?

Well neither do your friends....so unemotionally explain...it really does help,

I think if you start giving subtle nudges to your friends .. rather than bottling up your resentment at not being taken seriously.....once again most here encountered difficulty in getting friends to understand RA/RD is not just a passing finger ache.

Then get hold of some of the NRAS leaflets for your manager regarding your work situation too.

But looking on the brighter side....yes there really is a brighter side...pick up the phone now to get a rheumy consult & if it’s a long wait, consult your GP Most GPs are not much use treating RA, but for for pain relief they can help.

Hope you can get some help very soon.

[oldtimer]

Spread the feeling of frustration around a bit, especially here! It lifts it from you if you share it. Telling the medical team how frustrated you feel that things are not being resolved, that you feel abandoned and things are out of control, helps them to understand.

But also understand yourself that unfortunately it does take time to sort out what treatment is going to help you in particular - we are all individuals and understanding of Rheumatoid Disease is not sufficient for treatments to work for each individual at the onset and trial and error has to be the way forward.

[weymouth321]

Hi Summerrain ,

Have you tried writing a letter ( paper and envelope ) to your consultant , as I did mine , and he promptly replied , please give it a go

[medway-lady]

And there is an element of morning for a way of life that has changed too. I've had counselling to help with CKD it really did help as it made me see that its not a weakness to say sorry I can't do that today or even anymore. Although when it was just the RA mine was well controlled and life was normal so as other have said ask to be seen as a matter of urgency as things may well improve quite quickly with the right medication.

I'd also suggest that thinking about what you can still see as positive can help as concentrating on the negative might tend to feed on negativity. RA is hard to understand too I admit years ago I'd never thought about it and its one of those cinderella diseases so it doesn't attract news items but its not a hopeless condition so many have it and live completely normal lives it is definitely worth asking about a steroid injection to relieve discomfort too and also do speak to your GP who may be able to offer help. But whatever you do don't just don't think no one cares as most do but are just are so absorbed in their own lives so everything else is secondary. If you look on the NRAS messages you'll see group meeting for people with RA and their families in different areas. I urge you to go to a meeting, they can be both informative and fun and face to face chats with other people with RA can be very rewarding.

[springcross]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so down Summerrain. This is one of those "life is a bitch" times isn't it. Hope it doesn't last long and that you'll soon be feeling OK. Take care. 🧡

[Summerrain14]

Thanks so much to everyone for replying to me. Will reply separately over the next day or so. I should have explained myself a bit better. So sorry. I am on sulphasalzine at the mo and been lucky to be doing really well up until November. Been in a flare up since. Was seen in Feb, had steroid injection from rhuemy nurse who also said that she will speak with my consultant and see if meds need tweaking and will get back to me. It has only been three weeks in fairness that I have been waiting to hear back and appreciate just how busy everyone is. Been trying to ring daily for a week now to be a little proactive but not been able to get leave a message and no one answering. GP has been very supportive the pain meds in fairness. It is just getting that balance between being able to function and carry on working and having pain meds. A fine balancing act but GP has been great. If I can’t get through to rheumatology by the end of this week I will try and speak with medical sec for rheumatology instead.

Having a tough time with the person I share the office with. Despite trying to resolve this for several months we are now not on speaking terms. Horrid atmosphere in the office and behaviours which are a little inappropriate. Deliberately doing little things which is starting to hinder me being able to do my job. Been talking with manager about it for a few months now. Any how meeting on Friday with other person and our managers. Feeling very overwhelmed by it as not been told the format of the meeting despite me asking and expressing how anxious I am about this meeting. Just being told will have to see how the meeting goes on Friday.

Got lots going on but trying to take a little more control in a positive way. Just find myself getting so frustrated by the lack of sleep, pain and office situation. Have to see what Friday brings and take it from there. Thanks for listening. x

[Hidden]

Can you have a colleague or union rep with you at the meeting for support?

[Mattsdog1]

Aww hope you’re feeling better know exactly how you feel