Pity party ☹️

[Sjhoney]

Hi, I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself today. No particular reason, just fed up with hobbling about and seeing folk striding around getting stuff done. What do you do when you feel like this?

S x

[Ruth12345]

Morning Sjhoney.

As many others I expect, I understand. your feeling. There are a few things I do

1. I think of my best friend whoes only daughter died aged 33 of cancer, 7 months ago and how amazing my friend is.

2. I think of my brother in law who is dying and fights it and is managing to do things, much less than he used to. Then think how amazing he and my sister are.

3. I try and think how awful life would have been if this has happened when I was younger, I was 58, and so glad I was older

4. I read this forum and people are so lovely.

5. I have a good cry and find something to treat myself. Can be

a) watching something

b) eating something but even that's being taken away from me as on steroids and getting fatter!!!

c) my favourite thing is being in my garden if I can't get out to a garden centre or open gardens

Not necessarily in that order.

Well that's me trying to find the positive, which most times works.

Hope your day improves. X

[Sjhoney in reply to Ruth12345]

Thank you Ruth. Yes I think of others too, my sister in law who is living with breast cancer and doesn’t know how long she will live.

I’m having a cuppa and watching the birds in the garden. 😊

[Ruth12345 in reply to Sjhoney]

It's so hard when thinking of others close to you as well. Am I correct in thinking you also have a mother who is unwell that you care for at times? It's making sure we don't go down the drain thinking of others but getting some inspiration from them and finding pleasure in the little things. Also limiting stress is a big one for me as I see a direct correlation between that and pain and mood. Oh how lovely looking at birds with a cuppa. Enjoy. X

[Sjhoney in reply to Ruth12345]

No my mum died a while ago.

Thing is I’m not a go-getting person, I usually find joy in small things but some days it just gets on top of me.

This James for your words 😊

[Ruth12345 in reply to Sjhoney]

Oh I'm sorry that passed me by. X

[Hidden in reply to Sjhoney]

Hi I know what you mean. You just get tired sometimes fighting the pain and fatigue dont you. I've had almost constant back ache/pain for 3 weeks. Its getting me down now. I also get hot flushes and other aches and pains. It's a bit of a battle at the moment.

[Sjhoney in reply to Hidden]

That sounds rubbish ☹️

My disease came in the middle of menopause so it’s been a jolly time all round 😩

Enjoying the peace and quiet of an empty house today 😊

[Lolabridge]

Hi Sjhoney

Like Ruth I understand how you’re feeling but there are always others we know and can think of who are less fortunate than ourselves.

On a more practical note I look for good stuff to watch on TV (Wimbledon tennis has been good and great match between Federer and Nadal yesterday), lose myself in a good book, do puzzles, phone friends for a chat, play games on my phone, ... anything to distract myself if I’m struggling to do physical things because my body won’t cooperate!

I also find that replying to others on this forum and trying to offer words of hope and encouragement also helps me to feel better.

Hope you feel better soon x

[Sjhoney]

Yes I don’t often have days like this.

We’ve got friends coming round this evening for supper and it feels like a huge deal right now but I know it’ll be good fun.

Thanks for your thoughts 😊

[Hidden]

Oh Sjhoney I’m with you on this. I love walking especially with my husband and dog (only had the dog 3 months) but barely get the chance I’ve been hobbling for over 12 weeks it’s getting me down too 😞😞🤬

Misery together ✊🏻but I can still laugh at myself 😂

[Sjhoney in reply to Hidden]

Oh no, sorry to hear that. My husband has Nordic walking poles that he got when he climbed munros (only did 4😄), so I’m going to use them on uneven paths 😊

[helixhelix]

I tend not to think about others who are worse off than me, as that makes me feel worse for being such a whining wuss. So I try to focus on the here and now - so a cup of tea and birds is good. And I like my home, and have a comfortable corner with a nice view out of the window and things in reach. So I allow myself however many hours I need & just try not to stress about not doing more. If your friends know your condition could you ask them to help with making dinner, or bring something so you donkt have to rush around. Being tired and frazzled makes things worse for me.

[Sjhoney]

I agree, I think I feel more guilty if I think of those worse off than me ☹️, sometimes it just doesn’t work!

I’ve made a pavlova, my easy go-to pud, hubby making main and friend bringing

nibbles. Nothing else planned today so I can just chill now 😊

Xx

[wishbone]

Selfish perhaps, but unless I actually see someone or read posts about people more unfortunate than myself, then I don't think about others worse than me as I have enough to contend with. I live on a hillside, well I am in Wales, and admit to getting a bit sad when I see people older than me who live further up the hill striding merrily past my house. Something my RA damaged lungs and joints won't allow anymore.

[Hidden]

It's time to look in the mirror and say you are lovely and allowed a bad day then kick your butt (hard to do with RA) and get yourself ready for a lovely evening in a slow RA way.....shower, sit down, make up, sit down, wine (?) sit down...go with the roll and just enjoy the day!

We are all here we all have your back, as we get it!

[Sjhoney in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 😘

[Mmrr]

There is no pity party, just a low day, which we all have and are allowed.

I like to sit on my balcony which overlooks the hills and soak up the view and the air 🌲🌳🌴🌿☘🌼🌻🌺🥀🌹🏵💮🌸💐🌷⚘🍀🍁🍂🍃

[Sjhoney]

😊

[Ruth12345]

It's lovely that we are all different and that different things work for different people. It's good to read a variety of things and pick out what works for you.

I hope you enjoyed last night and today's another day. ☺

[Sjhoney in reply to Ruth12345]

I really enjoyed last night, lovely to see old friends and have a laugh and a drink (altho not too much of that 🤔)

A quiet day today 😊

[orange33]

Hi yes I have bad days to.2yrs ago I was guite active,not now. A few days ago hubby took me and dog to my fav place.hadto use buggy though which I hate!!

The park has a river which is accessible to children and dogs and the ground was firm.

It was warm. My little dog was enjoying the freedom to run play and splash around in the water. I could smell nature all around me and I could feel my tension and depression lift. Just watching other dogs having fun. For me it works.

I am now going to have a go at abstract painting,and since I shake abit it won't make any difference to the painting. I love watching my birds in the garden as well.

Hope you feel a little better now.

[Sjhoney in reply to orange33]

Yes I do feel a lot better today thank you 😊

I usually enjoy my dog walks, Harry is an old westie so we go at the same pace 😄

I think some days it just gets on top of you and you just have to go with it and let it pass.

A quiet day today I think xx

[Hidden]

I have times like this and often think that having a cry can be a release. I sometimes think of others in a worse situation like a young person I know who is only 31 and has just had her leg amputated and my best friend who has just lost her husband and has been diagnosed with cancer of the kidney herself, or my cousin who has parted from her husband and has two young boys to bring up one of whom is autistic and the other with kidney and heart problems and multiple allergies, but I don't always think that it helps to think of people in a worse situation as it can make you feel more depressed.

I like reading and it takes me into a different world where I forget about my problems for a time. It doesn't matter what you read as long as it doesn't depress you, even reading children's books is a good way to relax. Another way is to get immersed into hobbies when you are well enough to do so. I make cards which I sell for charity, it is getting harder and harder to make them now as I am waiting for a complete shoulder replacement but I do little bits when I can and really enjoy it. Another escape is listening to music and I hope that when I get my new shoulder that I can go back to playing the piano and guitar which I have not been able to do for ages. I hope you feel a bit better soon and are able to immerse yourself in some hobbies.

[Sjhoney in reply to Hidden]

I do feel better now, thank you 😊

We had friends over last night and it was really lovely. We sat on our new deck and the sun shone.

Quiet relaxing day today xx

[Hidden]

I am so glad that things are better for you today honey. xx

[Sjhoney in reply to Hidden]

Thanks x

[BonnieT]

Hi, SJ! I get lost in tv when I’m feeling down. Or read a cozy mystery. If you’re able to sit outside, give that a try. And sometimes a good old fashioned cry helps release the stress of this awful disease.

[Sjhoney in reply to BonnieT]

Yep, all these things help me too! I think sometimes a good sob clears the brain.

I have a swing seat in my garden, have wanted one since I was a wee girl, and I just love it! Altho my grandchildren offer to ‘push me’ as if we’re at the park 😄🙄

[Hidden]

I love all these posts they make you laugh smile and cry but also you see how we all cope with something that is so darn complicated. Thank you all x

[Sjhoney]

They really help. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond to my original post. I don’t feel quite so alone now 😊

[lornaisobel]

If i dont have to go to work I stop in bed x

[Sjhoney in reply to lornaisobel]

Good idea! I’m an artist and work from home so it’s an option 😉

[Hidden]

Hi,

Yes, I hear you. It’s a sort of lonely space sometimes and good to vent and share with a group like this. The inability to zip about irks me sometimes too. But I try to go with the flow and tell myself I am doing pretty well. My Gp recommended I get a pedometer app on my phone, as she said I would be pleased how much I walk and I turn it on when I walk my dog and I am so heartened with how far I actually go not how far I can’t go.🚶🏻‍♀️🙂

[dembonesDAMNBONES]

On days like that I take off my self pity head and replace it with my bloodyminded, foulmouthed, scornful head, which has a smidgeon of the masochist about it, then force myself to get all the unpleasant and physically difficult tasks done that I've been putting off.

I don't whirl through them, wishful thinking, but bit by bit, task by task and with minibreaks, I make a dent in the list, knowing I'll suffer later, (that masochistic aspect...lol) but doggedly plodding through.

My gardening, (my back court and two adjoining courts), although probably the most difficult in Spring and Autumn, with digging and planting, is very theraputic and can leave me transcended...and in agony. Lol.

Some days I'm incapable of finishing the weeding or deadheading, but being there, amidst that burgeoning life, just lifts me for brief moments.

Gardeners gotta garden!

Task like washing up, hoovering, shopping, even cooking from scratch, etc, still leave a sense of minor achievement.

And there's always painkillers to take off the edge. Lol.

Small victories against a war of medical attrition.