My mum has severe Rheumatoid Arthritis, osteoporosis and curvature of the spine. I'm sure you'll understand from your own experiences how painful this will be.
I care for my mum along with carers 4 times a day.
Over the year's a few of them have uttered comments to my mum -I've got a good pain threshold. How do they know this ? Can pain be measured ?
I've said to my mum if they had your daily pain,they would be probably screaming the place down.
I don't think saying that (good pain threshold ) to someone with RA or any other condition is particularly helpful nor is telling someone to man up.
What are your thoughts on this and how people look at pain ?
I don't even really notice how much I'm hurting day-to-day anymore. It just becomes our new normal. Every now and then I'll get a particularly painful moment and it takes me by surprise, because I suddenly remember, "Oh, I'm hurting." It's an odd thing.
It’s the same old story ah you look alright well there’s a big difference between looking alright and feeling alright, until they’ve gone through it they won’t understand xxx
Can't recall anyone ever saying that to me, but don't think I'd be very happy if they did. Carers especially should know better than to say that sort of thing being familiar with people with chronic health conditions.
Continious pain has become the norm, though I can't say that I've become accustomed or used to pain as not to take much notice of it. Not that it does any good, but I even groan on a fairly regular basis, especially in the morning. Can't help it on times...joint pain bloody hurts!
I don't know if I have a high pain threshold or not, but one thing I'm pretty sure about is that if some fit healthy person woke up one morning, as I did yesterday, barely able to move their arms and hands because they were wholly enveloped in serious pain and stiffness, then I think they'd wonder just what the hell was happening to them and be straight on the phone to their GP for an emergency appointment, or even more likely straight to their nearest A&E. Quite rightly too, if I was that fit healthy person I'd probably do the same.
It isn't helpful to compare how one person perceives pain with another. The statement 'I've got a high pain threshold' can be perceived by the listener as 'You're making a lot of fuss about not very much' and is highly offensive. I would be inclined to say something like 'How do you know?' to diffuse my anger!
Personally, I have found having a broken bone much less painful than swollen arthritic joints. I've been offered much stronger pain relief for a fracture than for the Rheumatoid Disease and that says a lot about the attitudes towards our pain from health professionals and others.
Someone saying that they have a high pain threshold usually implies to me that they have never experienced much in the way of pain - particularly chronic pain.
Having had 3 natural births with just gas and air for pain relief and also RA since I was in my 20’s, I would be rather annoyed at anyone commenting on my pain threshold!! A persons perspective of their own pain can not be felt by another so how can they be so rude to comment.
People with chronic pain have to live day to day with people not understanding and a carer should know better!!
Thanks everyone with your responses. I think my mum holds the same sentiments as you.
No one knows other than you knows how pain is effecting you. Not having RA myself (carer for someone with) I think chronic pain is worse and it's very easy to make assumptions.
Pain is very subjective-I have lost count of the number of times I have been told “if you pulled yourself together you wouldn’t be in so much pain”.
I don’t exactly know what pulling myself together actually involves ....particularly when I’m going tthrough a time when I can’t move my limbs....thankfully that is not often these day.
I just ignore these people... who are usually the type who scream the house down if they get a paper cut !
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