I managed to go back to freelancing for a great client, 3 days a week, Wednesday-Friday. I hadn't worked at all for 8 months when I was diagnosed as I couldn't even hold a computer mouse or a pencil due to my RA. So I'm incredibly grateful that this job has come along now and its manageable and pays well, just as I was going broke. Luckily the work is from home so I don't get too stressed or overdo it, even though I'm still doing 8 hours days.
By Thursday I do feel wiped out though, because the job involves a lot of presenting over Skype to clients all over the world. It's very intense. By Friday evening I literally just go to bed. I can't book in anything social wed-friday evenings because I'm so tired.
But now my boss is emailing me client feedback on Monday mornings, asking me to check over presentations and asking me to help some of the other designers with ideas. I have very politely said that I only work for him Wednesday to Friday but he keeps emailing that if I want to work on the next pitch, I have to take a look at the brief. That I have to review work so I know what I will be doing Wednesday am.
I'm only booked on this job until the end of March. By then, he may not have the budget to keep me on, so I'm on very thin ice. If I complain too much, then he might end my contract saying it just isn't working. He's already getting frustrated and it's obvious in his emails that in his words, "It's up to me".
It's very unlikely I will find such a great job with the hours and working from home (I've never been able to find this sort of work before, usually I have to go into other people's studios). But right now I'm so stressed and worked up that I feel like I'm going into flare. I've just gone back to bed because I feel helpless.
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Jules13
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Could you perhaps swap some of your Friday hours to Monday morning ? So that, you get a bit of rest Friday afternoon and then have a look at the feedback on Monday ? So, you are still doing the same hours, especially if he cannot afford to pay you for Monday mornings ? Or work shorter days Wed- Fri so you can do as he asks Monday morning without you loosing out ?
If he isn't agreeable ask him to pay you for the extra time, he is bullying you and holding you to ransom over possible future work which may never come.....
I do feel your pain though I work full time Mon-Fri, and Friday nights are usually awful, sometimes I also work on a Sunday to make up some of the time off I have had off for appointments, I know others at my work wouldn't do this, but I feel guilty for the time I have off.
No thats the whole point. I have physio, therapy, yoga, all the stuff to keep me sane and well, on Mondays. I also do other work for another client on Tuesdays. Can and won't swap my days. They don't pay overtime.
Tell him you already have commitments in place & you can't possibly fit anymore time needed for his needs.
He knows because I tell him I have other commitments on Mondays and Tuesday but hen still sends emails saying I have to look at these before Wednesday. Some of them a huge documents.
Record all emails and calls if you are employed. Curious to know how long you have been in this job and what country are you in.
Did your boss at anytime agree in writing or email to you working three days a week
I think that if you are on contract then the situation would be very different.
I freelance for many different companies, usually 3 months at a time. We arrange how many days a week and that's it. But he keep pushing more and more emails at me the days I'm not working for him. I've told him I cant keep fielding emails on the days I'm not working for him but he sort of guilts me into it.
That is very nice of you but I also think you might be right to a point. He has known me a long time and likes being able to rely on me, so I think he's trying to give me more responsibility than I should be doing.
You're in very difficult situation, you're dammed if you do you're dammed if you don't! I think your health comes first though if your health suffers through an over load of stress from working too many hours you'll struggle doing your Wed to Fri hours too. I think continue to be demonstrative about current situation Have you told him about your RA? You never know he may be have empathy for your situation.
You are right on that point, my mum had RA when she was alive. Naughty me did not understand what it was, when I was home on leave I used to give her 50-100 pounds twenty years ago, off she would go to buy herself some new 👠. I was raised to believe where there is a will there is a way. Now I am suffering for my penance ☹️
I would ask if I could renegotiate my working days , would Monday and Friday be more appropriate with another day, to make up the 3 days ? Perhaps this third day could be flexible according to your and the business needs.
If he won't renegotiate, then you need to make it clear that you only work 3 days, not 4 or 5.
Its difficult, but you cannot allow yourself to be bullied, your health comes first or you wont be able to work anyway.
No.... it's hard enough as is it without adding another day. Plus all my health and wellbeing appointments are on Monday and I don't want that to change. It wouldn't matter what days I do, I think he would still try and get me to do work on my non working days.
I didn't mean more days, still 3 days, just different days to make you available at both ends of the week, or split your days into half days, but if it is a non starter...
Big decisions, not answering the emails being one, or continue to work more than your contracted hours if he won't be reasonable, which he sounds as if he is. Not easy.
I think you’re right with the not answering emails. I started off doing that showing that I literally only did their work including reading work emails on those days. I had 5 already in there this morning and just put them in a job folder to read tomorrow. It’s actually not the days I’m working that’s the problems so could be any days during the week. It’s getting me to do stuff in my non days. It would actually be worse spiriting up the days because then it gets choppy. X
A difficult situation , but don't be bullied as your stress levels will increase. Sometimes bullies give more respect if you stand firm and say no , or implicitly say no by not answering the emails until a work day !
I ran my own business and had a simple rule. If my clients wanted a rush job which would involve me or my staff working overtime i would tell them i could do it but there would be an acceleration fee added to the case. If this company want you to do extra days, over and above what you are contracted to do can you not tell them you will do it but the fee would be an additional, say 50% on top of your normal daily rate. It was amazing how often my clinicians would find that the case wasn’t needed as fast as they thought🙄😂.
I totally get your point but I have been massively struggling to find work I can do from home and if I start saying I will charge money or overtime then I can be easily replaced. I know it sounds unfair but these are really unusual contracts to get part time and from home so I also don’t want to rock the boat. Think I have to draw a fine line that’s all.
Also having a very tough pain week and not sure that’s helping my mood.
Yeah I can relate to that. It’s a difficult position if you are dependant on their work. It really annoys me though as it’s a form of bullying. ‘Do what I say, or I’ll take my business elsewhere’🤬.
I was fortunate that the position my company was in that if any of my customers tried that I would just say ‘thank for your past business, goodbye. Oh and please don’t come back in a couple of months wanting to send us work again’.
I’m have a team of virtual assistants - it’s my business. What do you have in your contract? Ours are very specific about hours and times worked. We are available until 7pm, but we have a clause that states out of hours, should we choose to do it, is double the usual rate of £30 an hour.
It is tricky as they’re assuming you’re an employee here. But, you are freelance, so entirely up to you to do what you want to do. If you absolutely don’t want to add on any additional time, you will risk losing the contract. But that is your choice. If he does need that additional work to be done, there is a danger should you say no, that he will take it elsewhere. It really depends on your contract.
Absolutely right in every aspect. I’ve had friends that have said they won’t work after 6pm or answer emails etc and they have been replaced. My job is really niche and well paid so to get these days and working from home is amazing. I just have to find a balance between staying healthy and still being available. But if I get any emails I will make sure they are flagged for Wednesday morning and I try not to deal with all of them on my non working days. Simply opening then and responding is usually half an hour each and then suddenly I’ve worked another half a day.
It's not long until end March. I would call his bluff and say you will look at any e-mails sent Monday and Tuesday on Wednesday morning during your contracted hours. Keep all his e-mails - especially the bullying/intimidating ones in case you need to take action re breach of contract. The stress of being pushed too far won't help your illness!
Yup. I’ve decided that’s what I’m doing. I reiterated that yesterday in an email to him, saying that I simply can’t read all the work emails when I’m working elsewhere and for other clients on those days.
He doesn’t know that Monday’s are my treatment days and Tuesdays I do a few smaller jobs for other clients. It’s the principal isn’t it. So hopefully everyone is a bit clearer their end that I work Wed to Friday and that includes phone calls and emails as well. I do hope they understand because I simply cannot lose this work. Most of my London freelance friends are already feeling the effect of Brexit. It’s having a knock on effect as far as the work we all do for Europe. Eek.
I was in your situation last year - permanent job in Consulting and I was always traveling and was deployed onsite .
My manager always wanted to catch up after work hours - say 8pm in the night (so that client work doesn’t get stopped during regular hours) and had plethora of things for me to do after hours. The stress was relentless and I complied even if my health wouldn’t permit - because it was a well paying job and I wanted to push myself .
I did this for 4 months and health condition(RA + OA) worsened , relations suffered and in the end , I was forced to quit the job and take a break from the burnout .
I didn’t have the courage or energy to go to the tribunal either .
I am still recovering from the stress induced health issues and it worsened my RA and fatigue considerably.
Today , I say that nothing is worth your health or mental peace - not money , not promotion. Please make a well thought out decision factoring your health and sanity .
Thanks and I was in that same situation last year. I covered up my illness because I thought I would be judged on it and kept pushing on. Finally I just had to stop. I was so depressed and tired and got myself to such a good place with a good lifestyle. Eating well, exercising etc and I know that’s why my blood results are coming back so positive. Then one little blip escalates and I’m so full of pain I can barely walk.
This situation is not going to help your conditions but in any case, this would not be fair to anybody, whether they have a health condition or not.
It would appear that the employer has four or five days' work for you but he is hoodwinking you in order to get his work done on the cheap. I wonder when the emails started to arrive out of ours - whether the employer started per the contract and then later started to take advantage. It is a case for having a computer supplied by and dedicated to that company - but an expensive solution and a bit late now. Perhaps in March you can renegotiate your contract. You are being treated as if you are on a full time salary, not a freelance with a fee for stated hours. Also, your employer possibly does not realise you are ill and that you have other commitments on your "days off".
Membership of a union or a friend who is a lawyer might be a great help to you at some point. At the end of the day, your health is most important and if the worst comes to the worst, you can look back on this as a learning opportunity. If you can afford it, a life coach could help you with this problem, but one way or another, you have to know that it is not going to last for ever. Hope this helps.
From one who has been taken advantage of in the past. Stay strong!
Thanks Maggie. What doesn’t help is that my boss used to be a good friend so he’s taking advantage of our friendship as well as bullying me into doing work outside my hours. I’ve subsequently made sure all emails from the team go to a job folder and I will try not to look at it before Wednesday morning.
The thing is, this really is a dream job otherwise. Working from home with lovely design projects and manageable with pain and fatigue. I just need to keep positive and strong in my convictions. X
If you looked at the emails on Tuesday evening, I imagine you would be even more stressed out, either not sleeping Tuesday night, or in a dither on Wednesday, knowing all those emails had to be actioned, and this is for a friend - ? ok: used to be. I hope there is enough of your friendship left that you feel able tell him how you feel about it being a dream job (play that one down a bit perhaps) - all the things you like about working for him and to also tell him what you feel is unacceptable. Putting the emails in a separate work folder is one way of dealing with them, but you still know they are there, don't you? It seems to be blurring the lines between what is a paid job and what is a favour.
I've just noticed that you say emails from the team. They are probably getting that part of their job over with by sending them when they are working, and perhaps have no idea how this is affecting you.
That's a really tough one Jules. I have worked as a consultant for a number of years now. All my clients have stuck to the contract and only 'bothered' me on the days I am down to work for them. They knew that if they went over the line I would be charging them so they never did.
Hard to say what to do as we don't know about the structure of the company you are working for. If it was me I would hang in there till the end of March. Then if there is more work in the pipeline get a new agreement which is more tightly binding in terms of hours/days you work. If it's an SME then I guess it's going to be harder to resolve going forward. But if it's a larger company then get the director or HR involved.
It's not even about being unwell or not. It's about playing fair and sticking to the rules when it comes to freelancing/consultancy etc.
Us freelancers really don’t get an opportunity to go and talk to HR. there is also no contract. What makes things more complicated is that I had to give my work days and total hours 3 months in advance. So now if I get slightly ill it feel terrible I can’t take a few hours off which stresses me further. I’ve already been paid up front until the end of March too which is 1. A relief, but 2. Weird.
No amount of work or money is worth risking your health for and triggering a flare. It's taken a good while for you to get to this good place, it's not worth throwing that away for the promise of future work that may not materialise.
As you know RA makes you really have to live in the moment, there's no guarantee of your health being ok a few months down the line - that's a luxury that only those who don't have a chronic illness can count on.
Freelancing is always a tricky balance between being accommodating/being taken for a ride, but when your health (mentally and physically) is at stake I think you really need to protect yourself and set boundaries.
Your inside knowledge of this particular packaging job is something he couldn't get elsewhere - in this instance he needs you more than you need him (tho it probably doesn't feel like it). He doesn't need to know what you do on your 'days off' from his job - I'd be inclined to hint that you work for another client who pays a lot more than he does, and that the work you do for him is at 'mates rates'. Hold your nerve - he's trying to guilt trip you and playing mind games...give him a taste of his own medicine.
If you you think you can hold it together until March and re-negotiate after that, then do it. If you think that by doing that you'll trigger a flare, become ill and not be able to work for anyone for a while, then you know the answer - it's not worth it.
I don't know your situation in detail but I know I'd rather be on benefits for a while (broke, but in a good place mentally and physically) than working/earning and running on empty.
Meanwhile, I would maybe think about doing some personal self-help work on the area of 'lack'...it was a big issue for me, this belief I had that I had to take anything/everything in case it was all I'd be offered. It has a profound effect on self esteem and keeps your 'vibrational energy' humming at a lower level. By working on raising it, you attract more possibilities of the type of work you want. If this last paragraph sounds a bit woo-woo then ignore it, but I have a feeling you know what I'm talking about. X
Actually the reason I don’t work on Monday’s and Tuesday’s is because those are my health and well being days. I am really good about balance and treat myself with a lot of kindness. So I think I just need to remind him of those boundaries. To be fair I think he’s just pushing his luck. He’s not an unkind person but has a rather direct manner that a lot of people struggle with. X
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Shall I ask to come off my RA meds?
Flaring badly but I did it! Charity Walk for NRAS ticked off my bucket list of things to do! 
