Christmas is coming...........

[Maggsie]

Sorry, I know you think it's too early to talk about the festive season but I'm already dreading it.

I know that a major trigger for me is stress and I find that christmas is my most stressful time. Planning, shopping, cooking, baking etc. I'm such a control freak and perfectionist that I can't or won't reduce the amount that I do. It's not as though I have people over for lunch, we go to my lovely in laws but I always volunteer to make the starters, prep all the veg and end up cooking the meal!

I then wonder why I have major flares over New Year and most of Jan and Feb.

My oh has suggested going out this year but I can't bring myself to pay silly amounts of money for something that won't be as good as I can make. I can't even countenance doing my shopping on line because I want to select everything myself.

Help.....I need tips on how I can get over my control freakiness so that I can enjoy christmas and new year without the dreadful after effects.

[Hidden]

Morning

To be honest I don't get the whole Christmas madness. I'm not religious so it's pretty meaningless to me. And if I was I would probably celebrate with a simple meal and one or two homemade gifts. Folks seem to go nuts!!

My son feels the same way as me, so it's kind of a non event in our house, although I did go and spend it at his house share last year. That was a hoot. Loads of young people, music and I didn't cook a thing!

The year before I wild camped on the river with a flask of hot chocolate and rum. Marvellous!!

If it was me I'd go for the meal out. It's about being with people you care about. Those that care about you aren't going to want you to feel rotten because you've overdone it.

[AgedCrone in reply to Hidden]

I so agree with you Nettie ........although I'm shivering at even the thought of a river bank in December! Might be alright to look at through the window of a nice warm room...but outside in the cold...Please Nooooooo!!

[Hidden in reply to AgedCrone]

Lol...to be honest it was colder at my son's house share! Ancient old creak of a house that just about had a roof on it!

[Mmrr in reply to Hidden]

ABSOLUTELY with you

[AgedCrone]

Maggsie........Chill........I used to be like you....but since diagnosis I have stopped being " the one who does it all" & guess what? I'm now told what a great Christmas Dinner I cooked, how it was all so lovely......but really going out/away is so much better........I now wonder why I bothered!

Now I go to the sun or the snow & everyone is happy! No stress & no clearing up for days afterwards....& no January flares.

Why not talk to your in laws now & offer to take them out for a Christmas Dinner in the week leading up to Christmas? I'm sure they will understand that with RA now is the time for you to concentrate on getting it under control...maybe in a couple of years you will be in a better place,& can pick up the reins of head organiser......if you want to that is?

[Maggsie in reply to AgedCrone]

It's the chilling bit that I can't manage. I seem to 'manage' everything else LoL. However good my intentions to take it easy and plan and prepare early etc. I still get so stressed. I know it's madness but I can't seem to stop myself.

[AgedCrone in reply to Maggsie]

A bottle of Champagne & a straw always chills me pretty good!

You've got three & a half months so get practising !

Life is too short to bring on a flare - you are the only one to suffer - everybody else just gets on with the New Year!

[Maggsie in reply to AgedCrone]

I'd love to go away over Christmas but OH doesn't get much time off and priority for holidays is given to those with kids. Maybe in a few years when he's retired.

[Mmrr]

Maggsie, my daughter and I were speaking about Christmas only yesterday ! I said I can't do what I used to , so we agreed that I would do a slimmed down version of the main course, starter and sweet from m and s. And I've never been a baker - so no difference there ! My partner does all the veg prep on Christmas eve.

We are also considering a family secret Santa for the adults which saves a whole load of shopping and expense and ......those unwanted gifts. My daughter and son in law do this with his family and it works well.

Your health is more important than trying to do what you used to do, your family will support you if you explain, I'm sure.

It's about being together and sharing ...the work too !

[Gnarli]

I haven't "done" Christmas for years. We go to family and sometimes it's good, sometimes not so but it's supposed to be all about love and family. We're together and that's all that matters. If we ever did decide we wanted a very quiet "us" time we'd go abroad or go to a hotel here. Just think - no everlasting turkey!

J

[Catty1988]

Deffo think you should treat urself for meal out this year and see how you feel. You may enjoy it more lol. Maybe you can bake something nice for dessert at home afterwards. Or host a nice Xmas breakfast, Best of both worlds overall.

Can't wait for Christmas (I don't celebrate for religious reasons but love abit of family time!) x