Today I am grumpy. I can't hide it, I'm snappy and not nice to be around. Even though I'm angry with RA, it's my family that are feeling the fallout.
I know I'm being tough on myself but I hate not being able to be 'normal'. My boys would argue that I've never been 'normal' but you know what I mean. I have managed 2 weeks in my new job (which I like) but it has totally caught up with me this weekend. I'm even upset that I can't do the housework and shopping and I hate housework and shopping!
The logical part of my brain (it has been argued that I don't have this part) is saying calm down, relax, think about what a rollercoaster of 2 weeks this has been. The emotional part of my brain (which is the majority of it) is saying words which I can't possibly repeat on here. Even the pets take one quick look at me and head the other way as they can feel the vibes
Apart from the new job, my 17 year old had major knee surgery 7 days ago and is immobile and reliant on me for emotional, mental & physical support. He has Asperger's Syndrome so any change impacts him really hard and requires lots of reassurance and attention. I've also had to battle the local authority and find a solicitor as they have been trying to withdraw the funding for his specialist placement.
To round off the week, I got a call from my Rheumatologist yesterday, calling me in on Monday as they want to take another biopsy of the synovial lining of my wrist (it's a research thing) and begin the process of escalating my treatment to Anti-TNF's. I knew this was coming but it still kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. I've managed to schedule the appointment for the afternoon so I can still go to work in the morning (I'm still on probation at new job & they don't know I have RA.)
Sorry for the rant but I'm having a wallow in the 'self-pity pool' today and just needed to get that off my chest.
Tomorrow is another day