Give a bit of space. 🤪: Hi there , i have been walking... - NRAS

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Give a bit of space. 🤪

weathervane profile image
53 Replies

Hi there , i have been walking with crutches since my disc slipped more impinging on the sciatic nerve. Ive never had to use a walking aid before so new experience ! My son drove me to get bloods done earlier and then stopped at shopping centre so he could get the shopping. I had something to get in Boots so i went there on my own - well.....i was shocked at how inconsiderate some people were 😡 some people just pushed passed me nearly knocking me over , I became quite nervous. I am soooo glad I didn’t go into the supermarket ( can only walk short distances anyway ) i would have ended up sprawled on the floor ! Has anyone else had this experience? I know i can only walk very slowly at the moment but still a wee bit of consideration would be nice 🤨 xxx

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weathervane profile image
weathervane
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53 Replies

Hi W. I have to use a fold out fisherman’s seat stick always now for my balance rather than for arthritis. I have never been pushed about by anyone yet. But a man at an event I attended said he felt sorely tempted to kick it from under me - he said it was a joke when the friend I was speaking too told him what she would do to him if he had!

The thing is, ever since this man made this awful joke I’ve got even more nervous about using it in public places although it makes the world of difference as I can’t stand for longer than 20 seconds without using it as my feet give way. I keep thinking someone is going to come and kick it from under me or trip over it so I have really lost my confidence about being in any public places now unless I know I can sit down.

Human nature is surprisingly unpleasant sometimes when it comes to public places I think. And I say this as a Londoner by origin - used to get or see all sorts happen on the tube on the way to and from school! Clearly able bodied people not giving up their seats for the old, pregnant or infirm etc. That’s why I like open spaces with no crowds now - Scottish beaches and parks suit me well and supermarkets are to be avoided at all costs!! Xx

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to

I would hate to think someone would kick your stick out from underneath you!!!!! I do agree its nerve racking in crowded places , people are always in such a hurry and living in their own wee bubble .

in reply to weathervane

That’s it! I think the bubble comes from suspended reality or something so many of us forget that those around us need some space as we are so wrapped up in getting from a to b. Not that this excuses people for knocking into you but I don’t think it’s meanness so much as thoughtlessness. My old MP once told me that he’d had to spend the day in a wheelchair to see what it was like for a disability activist constituent and he said it was really scary how ignored he was. X

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to

I think it’s something that more people should do having to use a walking aid or wheelchair for a few days. My son took me for coffee while we were out and i had to go to the loo , a lady was in a chair partially blocking access to the door- would she move —— no , I felt invisible !!

sylvi profile image
sylvi

People just don't care anymore,they don't see me when i am in my scooter,i get shopping bags knocked into me and don't start me on the buggies....xxxx

Nettac profile image
Nettac

It varies. I think most folks are pretty considerate. I did once get cross when a couple of young chaps were sitting in disabled seats on the bus. They remained there despite clearly seeing me struggle to find a seat. More thoughtlessness than nastiness I think.

Most folks have no clue how difficult or painful life can be for some. I was reminded of it today. A very bouncy, fit neighbour asked me how I was doing. I told her I was trying a new drug and was hopeful. She rolled her eyes and said 'more drugs!' I had to stop an expletive flying out of my mouth.

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Nettac

Its only when you are in the position of using a walking aid or relying on some serious drugs to be able to function that you can understand. I feel a bit like a junkie at the moment with the drugs im taking for pain , my sister is an eye roller who says im going to become addicted and could i not just do a bit more exercise 😖😤😡

Kai-- profile image
Kai--

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If you’ve access to one of these babies ( themobilityaidscentre.co.uk... ) , weathervane, you’ll turn the tables on ‘rude-ies’. 🤔

(Merely lean on the horn 🔊 , drive like a bat 🦇 outa hell 🔥 & scare the bejesus ✝️ outta ‘em . . . .🤣 🤪 🙃 )

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If no access to scooter, merely vocalising ‘screams’ 🗣🗯🗯 in a crowd, encourages folks to give you a wide berth . . . 👍👍 (Sorta like the ‘parting of the Red Sea’. giphy.com/gifs/45BTzVNqtTsk... )

[Who said ‘acting crazy’ 🤪 doesn’t have its advantages . . . 😉 ]

Try it, you’ll like it! 😂 🤣 🤪 🙃

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👍👍

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weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Kai--

Oh kai , i hope when i get the nerve root injection that i will be able to walk without pain and not require the crutches. Mind your I could pretend to be a bad driver and run over a few toes 😜 on one of those bad boys !!

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to weathervane

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Love it❣️ 🤗 Don thick glasses 👓 & say, "beg pardon" as you didn’t see their tootsies 👣 .

Yes, finger’s crossed 🤞🤞injection goes well & any mobility aids will be a thing of the past. Getting as well as you can is all that matters. 🙏 😌 (And, if you have to run over a few toes👟 👞 👢 👡 👠 on your way to getting there . . . so be it. 😁 😉 )

🔊 🔊 🔊 . . . 🗣 🗯 🗯 🗯 . . . 😁 ☺️

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weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Kai--

Ive already stood on my sons toe with the crutch , by accident of course 😇

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to weathervane

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Of course "by accident." 😉 😉

Many a judge 👩‍⚖️ has bought the "by accident" defense ⚖️. 😳

(We anxiously await your son’s 👱‍♂️ 'version' of the story 📖 .) 😁

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weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Kai--

Ha ha , no witnesses 😆

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to weathervane

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😂 😂 👍👍

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Hmmm . . . just be wary if he starts addressing you as "Mommy Dearest" ( giphy.com/gifs/xUA7baImJc3h... , giphy.com/gifs/xxB0oak1x02N... ). 😳 😯

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weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Kai--

I will be on the look 👀 out ,ha ha !! Seriously they have all been a great help to me , doing homework etc so they are 3 great lads 😀

Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply to Kai--

Yeah, you sound just like the moron who nearly destroyed my husbands new hip! He shouted and yelled at the perfectly normal people who were walking along the street minding their own business.

He should not have been smoking while driving his scooter and he should have been able to control it properly.

Your attitude stinks to be honest! What about elderly people who can’t move fast? What about people who are deaf? What about a child who slips his parents hand and wanders in front of you while you ‘scare the bejesus’ out of them? ? Smart? Not in the least.

See my comments below!

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Fruitandnutcase

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Apologies, Fruitandnutcase, you have misunderstood. 😔 🙏

This is merely ‘humorous banter’ — not to be taken ‘seriously’. 😳

Obviously, anyone ‘in their right mind’ would never ‘seriously’ behave in such an outrageous manner!

I’m sorry you took it ‘seriously’. 😳

😔 🙏

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Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply to Kai--

Phew! Thank goodness for that! I was beginning to think it was you we’d met on our first outing. I tell you I’m scarred for life after that, I didn’t realise being a carer was so stressful😉

PS shouting out loud didn’t work. It just made everyone stop right where they were - right in the idiot’s way - while they lookedto see what the commotion was.

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Fruitandnutcase

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Heavens no!! 😳 (No worries. 🙏 )

Yes, you’ve every right to be upset/ distressed as to what happened ‘in real life’ to your husband, Fruitandnutcase.

What happened was frightening/ unconscionable. 😳 😱

Of course, no one (in their right mind) would operate their vehicle in such a reckless manner!! 😳

Unfortunately, it appeared your beloved encountered one such (rare?) reckless (bizarre?) individual. 🤯 😔 😞

I’m very sorry he had such an encounter — extremely upsetting/ distressing. 😞 Your anger/ upset is perfectly understandable. 😌

Again, I’m so sorry such ‘goofy banter’ struck a nerve, triggered such awful real-life memory/ encounter. 😔 🙏

(Of course ‘shouting’ is not an appropriate technique; I’m sorry anyone would think it so & would actually, seriously implement it⁉️ 😳 🙃 )

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Yes indeed, being a carer IS stressful.

Always having to be ‘proactively prepared’, think 2-steps 👣 👣 ahead, being ‘vigilant 😐 — ‘on alert’ 🚨 . . .

It’s mentally (as well as physically) straining, draining, demanding . . . I fully understand, Fruitandnutcase. 😌 🙏

Best wishes to you & your beloved & hoping you’ve no more ‘close call’ encounters with real-life ‘reckless drivers’. 🙏 🍀 🌺 🌞

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Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply to Kai--

Apologies accepted. It’s awful - he’s back at work and I’m still in shock.

There’s an old chap lives somewhere near us and another neighbour was going on about how dangerous he is etc on his scooter - although I usually see him on the road.

I used to meet him as I was coming back with the Sunday papers and I have to say his very cheery or should that be cheeky ‘Allo darling’ or ‘ Allo gorgeous’ as he shot round the corner always brought a smile to my face. Considering he’s probably in his 80s and I’m 69. You’ve got to laugh haven’t you 😂

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Fruitandnutcase

Well fruit, at the moment im using 2 crutches, I don’t have a scooter. Ive a slipped disc and in alot of pain till i get a nerve root injection. I was complaining about people who have nearly knocked me down pushing past me , I have no intention to mow any body down at all , quite the opposite.

Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply to weathervane

I know, Kai says it was a joke. Having been in shock since I met someone who was doing pretty much what she said I didn’t realise that.

I found on the streets if it wasn’t too crowded the crowd parted as soon as they saw us coming but in a supermarket you have no chance.

I had a couple of those steroid nerve root injections done years ago for my bulging discs. I hated that I could either lie down flat or stand up. No inbetween and lying on my back on the floor while two little boys and their mates ran around wasn’t much fun.

First injection worked straight away and lasted for a few years, second one didn’t work right away but gradually worked. I used to see that I was washing my leg in the shower even though I couldn’t feel it. Very odd.

In the end after years of physio I got an amazing physiotherapist who decided I had a displaced pelvis, got that fixed and she started me on Pilates, to toughen up my core and I haven’t looked back. Yay.

Well I have actually, I’ve got inflammatory arthritis and several other autoimmune conditions now but it’s better than the lower back pain - I think.

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Fruitandnutcase

At the minute fruit if I didn’t have a bit of a laugh, even if the humour is a bit dark , I would sit in the corner and cry . Its good to hear that your nerve root injection worked , its weird to have no sensation down leg or move toes . The nerve pain and spasms are the worst, though the increase In lyrica has helped a bit now. I hope your husband is recovering 😀

Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply to weathervane

Know how you feel. The day before the hip op I dragged my husband off to see Paddington 2 because life was so awful that I felt we both needed to have a really good laugh.

It worked even though other half could barely sit for that long - we went in the morning so that the cinema was empty so we got a seat where his leg could stretch out without getting in anyone’s way or anyone tripping over him.

I used to think sciatica felt like toothache in my buttock. It’s an absolutely agonising pain is sciatica, you hear people talk about it but unless you’ve actually had it yourself yu can’t even beg8n to imag8ne what it’s like.

My other half is doing really well, thank you. Can definitely recommend total hip replacement. He had it done with a spinal block and sedation and didn’t have to recover from a general anaesthetic. He was done on a Wednesday afternoon, could have come out the next day but in the end we decided it would be better to stay in that night - was I glad! - it was getting a bit late in the day by the time he saw the ward doctor to organise his morphine etc to take home- so crack of dawn next day he got dressed and moved to the discharge lounge. Amazing really.

He had spent years in denial about his hip - nothing wrong with it! So when finally he could barely walk and by the time he saw his surgeon his hip had completely crumbled.

He had very little pain afterwards but his consultant said that was because he was in so much pain before the operation - even though he wouldn’t ever have admitted how bad it was.

He also had terrible sciatica by the time he had his op. I bought him a remote TENS machine from Lloyd’s and he found it very good. I used one for myself but that was years ago and I didn’t like it at all. I still had the sciatic pain plus I was getting annoying little electrical shocks too. If TENS works for you then it’s good but it wasn’t good for me.

I eventually found an easy piriformis stretch that I could use to help my sciatica. I can do it sitting down too if I ever need to and no one knows you’re doing it - or if they do wonder they’re too polite to ask what you’re doing. Only thing is you’ve got to be able to get yourself into the right position and a lot of people in pain just can’t do that.

Anyway, I go on ;)

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Fruitandnutcase

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👍👍 Piriformis Stretch: nhs.uk/Video/Pages/sciatica...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=qgbpY...

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Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply to Kai--

That’s the one. The site I saw it on first had three versions, that version, sitting down and one where you do it face down on a bed that I never ever mastered. If you can get into that position and it works for you then it’s pretty much instant relief 👍

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Fruitandnutcase

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3 additional gentle 'Exercises for Sciatica' from NHS (National Health Service): nhs.uk/Livewell/Backpain/Pa...

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'Spinal Stenosis': nhs.uk/Video/Pages/sciatica...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=caf-D...

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'Herniated or Slipped Disc': nhs.uk/Video/Pages/sciatica...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=QNer7...

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'Degenerative Disc Disease': nhs.uk/Video/Pages/sciatica...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=FnAIo...

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weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Fruitandnutcase

Your husband and yourself have had quite a time of ! My poor Mum had two hip replacements , she never complained even though she had alot of pain as she had spinal stenosis as well. I think you get used to living with pain eventually which shouldn’t have to be the case .

Lesley_1 profile image
Lesley_1 in reply to Fruitandnutcase

I too have lumbar discs bulging and in lyrica and it feels like every other medication under the sun for Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I am now in an electric wheelchair and still find the shops and supermarkets unnerving. Having an invisible illness is awful, in a way having a wheelchair kind of helps there but I would just like to say that here in Australia very very few mobility scooters are fitted with brakes!

I have had two and it’s very frightening. I never ran anybody over thank goodness. Also the electric motors make them silent so people don’t hear you coming. I fitted mine with flashing bike lights and a kids bicycle horn and would toot it when near people.

Now I’m in a wheelchair that also has no brakes. Often I’m so glad to get out of the shopping centres and on the footpaths home. Much safer there until I come across idiots on off road motorbikes who think footpaths are theirs. Council workers on their giant lawnmowers cutting the grass on or near the footpath, people who park their car on a footpath because ‘hey it’s free’ or delivery vans ‘only going to be a moment’ cause my eyes to spin around and steam to come out of my ears. Muttering to myself all the way home like a ‘crazy person’

Lesley_1 profile image
Lesley_1 in reply to Kai--

While I understand your frustration and I experience it frequently you do need to remember that we are in motorised aids and so any accidents, incidents etc are going to be our fault. I know of some ladies in mobility scooters who have been banned from shopping centres for speeding and dangerous driving

nomoreheels profile image
nomoreheels

Maybe I was fortunate or maybe my scowl is more effective than yours... or the only time I needed to use crutches it wasn't in the UK but I didn't have any issues. Could have chosen a better place for my first outing on them though, a hypermarket. I managed to get down the first aisle & stayed put in the furniture section until my h had finished the shopping & arrived like a steed on his horse, cleverly disguised as a mobility scooter. 😋

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to nomoreheels

It probably was a bad idea going to the shopping centre on a busy Friday .

Nuttyshirlz profile image
Nuttyshirlz

Oh yes only just this afternoon.I went to shop and this woman about my age 50s came from behind me chatting on her phone nearly knocked me over.she looked back with not a word as I said it’s ok pet I don’t really have a walking stick and this old woman asked if I ok she said ppl always in rush don’t care about old or disabled ppl I said no ppl just so bad manners and rude think of number one only x

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Nuttyshirlz

Not a nice experience nutty , some people can’t see further than their own nose . Its definitely knocks your confidence and puts you off getting out and about .

Nuttyshirlz profile image
Nuttyshirlz in reply to weathervane

I no what did we do before mobiles oh yeah we saw ppl lol x

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Nuttyshirlz

I do think people were more aware of what was going on around them before mobiles

Nuttyshirlz profile image
Nuttyshirlz in reply to weathervane

Yep me too lol

in reply to weathervane

If I tried to walk and use my mobile same time I’d be nose first in the gutter within seconds?! I wonder how many people end up in A&E because they were walking with mobiles - bet it’s a significant number!

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to

I would be one of them its s skill that dont have , id bump into everything like a dodgem car 🚘 😁

Nuttyshirlz profile image
Nuttyshirlz

Yep me too but it’s nightmare trying to dodge them.I did see on telly something about padding lampposts lol

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Nuttyshirlz

That sounds like a fair enough idea , particularly if im on the road 😅

Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase

Tell me. Husband had a total hip replacement recently. First outing some old goat on a mobility scooter came flying through the crowd of shoppers yelling - turned out he was yelling at the top of his voice for everyone to get out of his way. I was in front of other half, old idiot clipped husbands crutch as he went past, fortunately my other half had just transferred his weight onto his good leg and a car was parked right up against the kerb which would probably have stopped him landing on the road.

I let out such a roar. The idiot stopped in front of us. Someone behind me said ‘oh he’s had a bad turn’. I felt guilty at screeching at him and asked if he was ok. He just sat there in his stetson hat, smoking a half smoked cigarette and glared at me. Didn’t say a word.

I went back past the site of the near accident a few minutes later and there wasn’t a trace of him or an ambulance if he had had a turn. I felt quite sure he has done that before and knew not to say a word, either that or he’d just come from the pub.

With hindsight I should have got my phone out and taken a photograph of him. The visiting physiotherapist was telling us about an elderly lady she had worked with who was run over by one of those scooters, she was in hospital for weeks, had skin grafts and never went back to her own home and as she was out shopping for herself she was presumably fit enough to live alone. She said that Jeremy Vine was highlighting the problem on his radio show.

If that guy had hurt my husband I swear I would have beaten him to death on the spot with my husbands crutches!

As it was after that I never let him out without both crutches, even when he didn’t need them. Going up town was like a parting of the waves as most people gathered their children and shortened their dog’s leads as he approached.

Know what you mean about supermarkets, people just didn’t look and I found those kids with ‘wheely’ trainers really scary in supermarkets, they zoomed about in and out of people chasing each other and paying no attention whatsoever to people around them and their parents were nowhere to be seen. They were very annoying.

Other half may have had the pain of the operation etc but he wasn’t half as stressed as I was worrying about him when we went out. I was a nervous wreck. The footpaths near our house are so uneven people try to walk on the road, we had snow and ice. I’m only now, two months on just recovering from ‘his’ operation 😉

Off my soapbox now!

Gnarli profile image
Gnarli

People have been trying to walk through me for years before the RA hit me. Now, I'm not quick enough to avoid them. Himself won't let me carry pointed objects and swear at them so what can you do?

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Gnarli

Hi gnarli , sometimes you feel invisible as some people just walk straight for you . It is maddening 😡

Gnarli profile image
Gnarli in reply to weathervane

Indeed. I find that even snarling has little effect on the mobile zombies too. Barbed wire anyone?

J

weathervane profile image
weathervane in reply to Gnarli

Now now !! Thats a bit extreme 😀 I don’t know what the best approach is , maybe just stand in front of them so they have to move ??🤔🤔

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Gnarli

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👍👍 giphy.com/gifs/ttkpeNnCAQI9... , giphy.com/gifs/dQukTx7ZR0un... , giphy.com/gifs/TDPzMjUXmQcR... , giphy.com/gifs/xT5LMytS1QF2...

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Gnarli profile image
Gnarli in reply to Kai--

Hi Kai. Many apologies for delay in response. I'm afraid I can't open your gifs as the wifi here on St Lucia seems to be a bit iffy but thank you so much for responding.

J

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Gnarli

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Harrumph 😤 !

Yes, I can find it in my heart ❤️ to forgive such a cruel, brutal, heartless act of ‘delayed response’, Gnarli . . . 🧐

But not packing me in your valise 💼 for a zip-off to St. Lucia 🏖 is beyond the realm of forgiveness . . . 😑

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😆 🤣 🙃

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[Of course I’m ‘pulling your leg’, lest anyone be confused by the ‘joking/ teasing’ in Lady Bracknell-like fashion ( healthunlocked.com/nras/pos... ).]

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Bask in the warm ☀️ of your St. Lucia holiday, dear lady, & think not a wit about some silly 🤪 gifs! 🤗

Enjoy, enjoy . . . 🕶 👙 ⛱ 🏝 ⛰ 🌅 💏

Looking forward to any photos 📸 you may like to share when (if?) you return. ☺️ 🙏

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Gnarli profile image
Gnarli in reply to Kai--

Lol. Unless we sell a couple of the grand kids, Kai, we'll be back all too soon!

Kai-- profile image
Kai-- in reply to Gnarli

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Terribly confused. 🤔 😕 🙃

Thought ‘selling off’ each grandchild 👫👭👬 (1 by 1) *was* PART of ‘Retirement Planning’?! 😯

(Something like ‘ready cash’?? 💷 💶 💴 💵 💰 )

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. . . Need to extend a holiday 🏝 , cash one 👶 in. . .

. . . Need a medical service 🤕 , cash one 👧 in . . .

. . . Need a car repair 🚗, cash one 🧒 in . . .

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Oops . . . 🤷‍♀️ 😯

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(Perhaps I’ve misunderstood the system?? 🤷‍♂️ 😳 😰 🤭 )

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[How does one go about retrieving the lil’ buggers 🐞 🦗 🐜 ?? 🤔 😨 😳 ]

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Please enjoy remainder of time on lovely St. Lucia, creating beautiful memories. 🙏 😌💭 🌺 💭 🐠 💭

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Lesley_1 profile image
Lesley_1

Would you do better with a mobility walker so you can sit when tired.

I am now in electric wheelchair and it’s just the same, only I often feel murderous of shoppers tootling along oblivious to everyone around them, stopping dead suddenly or just veering in front of me without a care in the world

weathervane profile image
weathervane

Im now on one crutch and moving a bit faster so not as bad now but it it is amazing how inconsiderate some people are .

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