So a few months have gone by as I have looked at my health, family, work/life balance and my mental state.
Who knew SO much would be affected by a few words like RA an Autoimmune disease?!
Well I thought of waiting until I had had my diagnosis for 6 months.
But maybe a little good news is due?😉
So sitting down with all the information felt emotionally and mentally overwhelming. I had a small bout of mild depression. My husband was on the ball and off to the GP we went.
I spoke to her a few times and was signed off work more.
This partly compounded the awful feeling of letting my colleagues down... but sitting and crying on off was not going to go down in a high stress work environment where lots of people would walk in and out of the office all day.
But it did make me look at my beautiful boys and think that maybe I needed to listen to myself. The OH did say look at where you want to spend your energy. Find ways to energy conserve.
Hmm, my family is my heart, my home.
Living as an expat limits the help that can be found in the few people I know. All of whom are lovely but also dealing with their lives.
I decided that after applying for part time at my job at the time on medical grounds and being told they would give it to me for 3 months and then expect me to come back full time. Was not due able. RA normally does not go away and stress triggers flair ups. Besides I was told that for all my hard work and many many many over time hours I would only be worth £125 more annually!
I felt mentally shoved out the door. Comments from HR like I think you need to speak to someone about your mental state, my friend has RA and she is getting on with things... didn't help much.
So I had that time signed off by GP to help my depression...
and while I did I happened to talk to someone that offered me a new opportunity.
So one night while online chatting and answering on FB another expat asked if I was interested in a freelance job?
Hmmm, maybe. I'll have a look...👀
It sounded ok... flexible, set own hrs, set own amount of AL, work from where ever I wanted.
Hmmm... what is the negative?
Well almost 1 1/2 months in...👀👀I'm still looking for the pitfall or where the negative might be.
Sofare so good.
I really enjoy what I do now, hours are less, I work from home, sometimes I sit in the garden. I have my boys at home and I do not need to stress about traffic, paying for holiday, after school clubs or if I have the right cloths for the job.
I keep wanting to pinch myself... I feel lucky.
My boys are happier, my husband is happier as he does not have to worry about his family like before.
I spoke to my GP and to the wonderful therapist at Time to talk. My Rheumy even advised me on to what self-help to look into. ( wonderful doctor my Rheumy.)
The feeling of coming out on the other side with less pain physical and emotionally then what was the norm before and a legit pain when it is there is wonderful.
It sounds wired... but yes. 🙃
So all in all I have taken a bigger than wished for pay cut... but gained much more.
Life is looking good even when I can't wear high heals and my hands ache and fingers won't do what I want in the speed I want them to.
Because the load of stress I carried with me because of the other job is no longer a burden on me and my family.
We do things differently now.
I went out riding my bike 🚴♀️with my family and friends... yes I had to! I also had to pay for it the next day. But I'm learning where the limit is.🏋️♀️
A large part of getting through the chaos of the first few weeks. Was down to the lovely people on here.
Thank you.
Let's keep moving forward, safely and protectively together.
I hope all of you are in a good place.
🌹🌹🌹
xxSimba
Bit of good news for a change! 👍😀
Explaining pain and fatigue to colleagues
A bit of a pain in the 🍑 
First and with a bit of luck my last blog - 50/50!
