I'm new here. So, first of all, apologies for a long and depressing post!
A little about me: I'm 35, have had seronegative RA since my early 20s. No kids, but a lively dog.
Have tried many meds: methotrexate, sulfasalzine, plaquenil, humira, enbrel and orencia - with no real improvement. Just horrible side effects.
I've also had two knee synovectomies and so many steroid injections that I've lost count.
Currently, I'm not taking any meds and my rheumatologist says there is nothing else worth trying.
I have a really stressful job that makes my RA worse, but I cannot afford to give up work.
The last year or so has seen my RA permanently flare. Every single day I wake up at 4:30am feeling like hell. It takes me hours to feel like getting out of bed.
I can't think straight I'm so tired. I keep forgetting things. I don't want to see anyone, I just want to be left alone. In fact, I wish the whole world would switch off for a month so I can have time to piece myself back together.
Every day, I am crying and despairing about my life and lamenting what I can no longer do. I went to see my GP and told him my quality of life is so poor that I can't see a way forward. He just referred me back to the rheumatologist who has already said there is nothing else to be done.
As much as I'm still able to do many things that I should probably be thankful for, all I see are the things I can't do. I'm fed up with the endless pain and the chronic fatigue. I'm exhausted by keeping up a facade. I'm frustrated that I'm not the person I used to be - and I feel like my partner thinks that too (although he never says as much).
In short, I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I've reached out for medical support...only to find it lacking. I don't know how to turn this situation around and get my life back on track.
I hope some of you may have suggestions. Thanks xx